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Open Poetry #9
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Jenova
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16
germany

0 posted 2000-08-02 08:05 AM


***
Out of the dark skies
Under a bloody moon
The raven falls
With broken wings
Striken by lightning
Burning
Screaming in pain
Welcomed by death's cold embrace

But with the sun's first rays
Gently touching the shattered creature
Incinerating the torn feathers
A phoenix is born
Proudly spreading his flaring wings
Rising again
In silence
And beauty
***

© Copyright 2000 Nathalie Martin - All Rights Reserved
Jenova
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16
germany
1 posted 2000-08-02 08:06 AM


Well, hi all!

I just joined and started to read some poems... seems to be a great site! *laughs happily* I'm going to post one of mine now... I wrote this thinking of rejected love... how you're hurt and think you'll never live joyfully again... but then, after some time, manage to get over it... and I love this phoenix-thing, I always did. *smiles* Um... I don't know how this poem sounds to English readers... I'm not English and therefore maybe use words that don't really fit... ah, forgive me... and I'm always happy about constructive criticism! =) Nuff said...

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
2 posted 2000-08-02 08:20 AM


i think you did a wonderful job! a very good first post! welcome to passions..looking foward to more of your poetry!
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2000-08-02 10:00 AM


The raven falls
With broken wings
..
..
Rising again
In silence
And beauty
-------

Jenova,
you have expressed yourself beautifully here...
and an excellent impression is created upon this reader's mind...

WELCOME TO PASSIONS  

and hope you have a nice time here...

regards,
sudhir

Jenova
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16
germany
4 posted 2000-08-02 10:10 AM


Wow, thank you... I didn't expect comments at all (because the "admins" keep telling you this all the time and that you shouldn't be disappointed...) - and then such lovely ones... made me really happy... thx again *smiles*
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-08-02 12:06 PM


Welcome to Passions Jenova!

What a beautiful poem to mark your first post!
You need not worry about any translation Jenova,
this comes across just lovely!
Hope to read more!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2000-08-02 12:22 PM


Ahhh, and Pheonix rises from the ashes.

Welcome to Passions, Jenova!

Corinne

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