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Open Poetry #9
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-08-01 01:08 AM



The Heart can Hurt

It started out so sweet
with the soft breath of dawn
creeping creeping
through the a tiny pin prick
of a hole in the shade.

I could hear that Monday morning
trash truck gear up pull back
and the sound didn’t hurt my waking
it had comfortable familiarity
in its crusted noble task

then the curtain parted
fear opened and poured on me
and I thought of all the dear touches
and the words like songs
a heart can really hurt
tapping its fingers
it can hurt in the waiting for news
that ticks can you hear it tick the minutes
how many beats per minute can it tick
before the heart bursts
and the clock explodes into pieces
of memory floating down around the white bed
and the white coat and the tubes and machines
and the cadence of beeping instruments

so I waited for an end of something
that was still in progress
still a work of art in outline
drenched and pale with not yet
and the day did tick on
and there was no explosion
and the sun set in a big orange ball
behind a palm tree
and I took a breath and another
and another
another



© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Nikolette Sadness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337
port richey fl.
1 posted 2000-08-01 01:15 AM


i liekd this one...very homey...i dunno why though....just relaxing i guess

Nik

i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-08-01 01:28 AM


Martie~
A sad little piece of your heart
on this day of consternation and caring.

'then the curtain parted
fear opened and poured on me
and I thought of all the dear touches
and the words like songs
a heart can really hurt
tapping its fingers
it can hurt in the waiting for news'

You express it well, my dear.
Love you and thinking of you.
~*Marge*~





~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2000-08-01 04:18 AM


Excellently expressed... with nice imagery...

regards to you Martie,
Sudhir

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-08-01 08:30 AM


so I waited for an end of something
that was still in progress
still a work of art in outline
drenched and pale with not yet
and the day did tick on
and there was no explosion
and the sun set in a big orange ball
behind a palm tree
and I took a breath and another
and another
another


Oh Martie---The ending of this is soooo perfect.  Your imagery throughout is so vivid but the ending kills me....wonderful piece here......

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-08-01 08:59 AM


Oh Martie.....

then the curtain parted
fear opened and poured on me
and I thought of all the dear touches
and the words like songs
a heart can really hurt
tapping its fingers
it can hurt in the waiting for news
that ticks can you hear it tick the minutes
how many beats per minute can it tick
before the heart bursts
and the clock explodes into pieces

EXCELLENT!! as always  
Enjoyed this immensely  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-08-01 10:44 AM


Nik--thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond to this poem.

Marge--thanks for understanding and being there, my sis.

Sudhir--thanks for your sweet reply.

Mark--if I killed you with my ending I hope it's not terminal...thanks dear one.

Dark Angel--thanks for the excellent, I'm glad you enjoyed.

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
7 posted 2000-08-01 10:53 AM


Wonderful work, Martie. Our prayers are with you and Taylor.

Elizabeth


Why ME???

Michael G
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579
Nashville
8 posted 2000-08-01 10:59 AM


I loved the imagery in this Martie, I loved the way you expressed the anticipation so very well........
Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
9 posted 2000-08-01 11:24 AM


You do tell a good story in your poetry Martie!

THanks for the read  

"Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by
rule."~ Samuel Butler ~


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2000-08-01 06:22 PM


martie,
i got you e-mail..i am having computer problems, just wanted to tell you
my thoughts and prayers are with you and
Taylor...keep me updated...
this poem is of your usual grace...
I know it helps to write about our fears.
take care, both of you
love ya sweet poet
jm


There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2000-08-01 06:32 PM


The anticipation felt through this, leaves me counting my heart beat as well ... I've known this feeling also Martie. Beautifully written  ... take care.

Best wishes,
/Kit

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
12 posted 2000-08-01 06:56 PM


WOW Martie excellent piece.

"I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone"
manic street preachers

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 2000-08-02 09:01 PM


Those waiting moments can be maddening. I'm glad the outcome was good. Wonderful poem, Martie.

Denise

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2000-10-16 09:56 AM


Adding to the library again, missed this one, somehow!
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