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Open Poetry #9
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-07-31 01:23 AM


Allow me
to watch
shadows dance
in silhouette of fire.
Allow my fingers
trembling tips
butterflies
that kiss desire.

Deny me not,
my ache for you.
Permit me, please,
my need to savour.
Let it be sweet
in pure relief,
releasing dam
of God's good favour.

Be gentle as I take my time,
ponder possibility of rhyme...
A thousand years,
a million tears,
I've waited for your voice, sublime.

How startling it is to see,
all I've believed that could not be,
standing right in front of me
in ashes, of myself, despised...
So simple.
And I am so surprised.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-07-31 01:50 AM


shadows dance
in silhouette of fire.
Allow my fingers
trembling tips
butterflies
that kiss desire.

Deny me not,
my ache for you.
Permit me, please,
my need to savour.
====================
Be gentle as I take my time,
ponder possibility of rhyme...
A thousand years,
a million tears,
I've waited for your voice, sublime.

How startling it is to see,
all I've believed that could not be,
standing right in front of me
in ashes, of myself, despised...

So simple.
And I am so surprised.
==================

oh i do so love the way you ache me twin...
(seems to be a lot of that going around)
*sigh*
this is just so perfect,
so sensual and smouldering..
so poetically serenity...
i'm taking this one to bed,me twin LOL
sweet dreams me sweet sen
me


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
2 posted 2000-07-31 11:40 AM


serenity, very lovely writing. Yes very softly sensual.  

Parker

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
3 posted 2000-07-31 11:54 AM


This is so sensual and tender....it is truely what I have come to expect from you and you have not let me down.(no pressure...huh girl) Beautiful creation from you on this one.  
TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
4 posted 2000-07-31 12:49 PM


serenity~
     My dear, this is absolutely wonderful!

How startling it is to see,
all I've believed that could not be,
standing right in front of me
in ashes, of myself, despised...
So simple.
And I am so surprised.

I, too, sometimes have the bad habit of having everything I need right in front of me but being too blind to see it.  
You touch me deeply with this on, girl!


Love Ya~


~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

beowulf_26
Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 183

5 posted 2000-07-31 02:42 PM


serenity, this is a great poem.  I love the way it moves, flows, the message it delivers, and the emotions it envokes.  Great job!

Unrequited love sucks.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2000-07-31 02:54 PM


"How startling it is to see,
all I've believed that could not be,
standing right in front of me,
in ashes, of myself, despised...
So simple.
And I am suprised."

That sums it all up all right and with beautiful poetic words....great poem!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2000-07-31 07:50 PM


I would like to thank everybody for their kindness once again, it means so much to me to have sincere encouragement...I humbly curtsey and thank you much...see you guys back at the bottom...LOL!!!
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-07-31 08:11 PM


Serenity,

Great repost here!!  This one says a lot I think.  Always amazing to discover yourself isn't it?  Glad you did.

---------------------------------------------
Be gentle as I take my time,
ponder possibility of rhyme...
A thousand years,
a million tears,
I've waited for your voice, sublime
---------------------------------------------

These are wonderful lines.  Nice writing.  
Lone Wolf



Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
9 posted 2000-07-31 11:01 PM


Breathtaking Serenity..... Absolutely beautiful!  I could never pick one stanza or
line to be my favorite so I'll simply say I
loved it all!  Magnificent writing~


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2000-07-31 11:04 PM


Now THIS is what I call excellent writing! Very impressive, miss  
spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
11 posted 2000-08-01 11:28 PM


Great poem.
Glad to have stumbled upon such a succcumbing grip.
thanks
Rich

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2000-08-02 12:06 PM


serenity, oh to be consumed by THIS fire. . .

---------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


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