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Passions in Poetry

error check- every boy n girl

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18
Junior Member
since 03-28-2007
Posts 27


0 posted 03-28-2007 01:51 AM       View Profile for 18   Email 18   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for 18


About a girl

So your friends are all sinners
Sentenced to condemned relations spent genuine originations    
Locked in here with girls and men stinking with stagnation  
Self destruction intentions scream arrogant contempt of a key to release  
Perfections bred resistance
Left an infant in a spotlights distant internment
Shear despised childlike shades from childlike ways  
You were alive, its just time falls the same on everything
Naive feet fell over time as you fell into change
Being born of a perfect earthen meaning you were more than natural
Hurt came when perfect molded and collapsed like clay between pressuring palms
Time wrought forgiveness stolen and gone for each accident
Pinchin cookie cutter shapes of mistakes from your god and your faith in plea and repent
Saturday nights drove moths to scratch their way in Sunday’s best
Couldn’t rest where the lessons linger in a hangover  
Between church pews you can hear a good Christians whisper
“Why is she here?”  
Hands on skin scratch the surface like moths on Sunday’s dress
But they got words to dig deeper than moths fingers do to those clothes
Flagrant blame led shameful eyes downwards  
Drag chains down isles in shapes of cowards
What’s left of mistakes plague you’re faith
Victimized wrote bold across your face
Labeled and fake
Contents weight pressed the very voice of her breathe
Strangled, yet what lies words can take
Burdened, she persists to pray
“Saved.”
A hope held truth in certainty
A lie held so close promised an oath sold to hell for fallacy  
Price of souls
Pretend the day ends with promises hollowed no less than when it began
Painless sex and addiction chisel statement internally  
Carve precious demented remnants of yourself into something else of quality
Discard the rest
There is no unique in the blend or savor in what’s left of these hollow skeletons
Rib cages cracked spill those empty breaths from holes where heart was ripped from chest by hands of them and what they meant
From the same redemption
Replace pieces of body and heart with duck taped doll parts
Dress like you’re meant not to break and do so the best
This is who you are
Flawed under plastic complexions
Behind bars of makeup you paste over personal imperfections
Put beauty on flesh to bury the scars
Paint to fill holes in your soul that others dug
Paint on a face that will show a perfect plastic love cuz you weren’t made good enough
So paint to forget the real original
Paint to be fake
Paint over the streaks left behind by prayers rejection shed gracefully in delicate leaks
Speak evidence of needs in written ink trailing
Comforting black insides of closed eyelids divided
Surrender turns distress to artist
Drag the violet from layers of eye shadow
Streams now purple go down blush stained cheeks
Taste need and pain where tears and lips meet
Lips that state what they know or say of worlds
“Lovers are losers”
Cold words smother trampled fires
Damp under ice covered letters intentions
Oppression of your tongue froze lips together sealed with new friendships
Start to end this as they break apart
Lungs tear scream so hard you barely broke the freezing air
About a boy

He don’t come home anymore
Impaired by more than the drugs he’s on
Sure of where he’ll go; far from All-American, somewhere in a song, or close to a hole
Its all his own and done
Connection gone with closing doors
Roots have grown to be torn from a place called home
Selfishly you snatch at dirt and unearth to displace you from your own
Fist orphaned of worldly conception hit the sky looking for more
Slipped between a tight fingers grip horrified he dropped a dream
Now he’s a dreams deception shy
Fallen feet fell in step on to broken floors looking to fly
A crypt kept remembrance of a man that didn’t die
Blind and unspoken yet relentless he slept in his eyes
Your head harbors judgments of mothers and fathers in constant despise of what you are no longer
He’s spent long nights listening leaving him restless  
Gasping for meaning left him breathless
He’s now on the run
Regret the ghost he has become even more so that he was a son
All that meant was abandonment
A father had a son he didn’t want
Written on pages so to be read like paper cuts to flaunt was a love never got
Bleeding heart plea that a mother stopped caring
Thoughts that live between dusk and dawn chase the days denying the sun
So this is the life he chose, of broken bottles and buddies
Sorrows rolled in a cigarette smolder to ash and fill the tray of aftermath you’re living in
Smoking impotence, breathing in deep and exhale with the grievance of a so called death as if the boy of whom you speak is past tense in lyrics
He sits ready to spill his guilt and guts
Never sang enough
He never had enough
Waiting for somebody to listen
Mistrust twists tongue to say wicked wrongs
Conscience haste upon a song lush taste of disgust  
He strums pity in strings delicate touch
He sings that he’s been forgot
18 and high the world was not but had an eye to help destruct
Life he wants denied so swore to drown in this denial
Teen angst brought pieces of his world down
Now nothing of the child he’s been
Magnificent he was filled with dreams
Body he was born with
Wrote poems and sonnets with colors of sunbeams
Skin naked posed upon this planet as though canvas for purity
Stained by reality
He played a destiny to be great
Notes over played told a fate wrote in smoke
Closed the pain now seeing engraves written in stone
Home comes slow in what he sings
And he sang
“This is my soul
Singing it all through the heart beat touched
Rhythm pushed blood into my veins and lungs
So I could breathe and take in breathe
Exhaled to sing and God let me sing this
Cuz I been lost”
Synonyms for regret and sorrow continue in friends
Harlots for depression and so are now depressed
Fingers placed upon frets felt what they meant
Loves reprise lift wet red clouds from blood shot eyes
Conscience choked red skies now clear to white
Down the neck he strokes a joy for life
Renewed chest rose with passion and fell in exertion
A boy found purpose in hearts he’s broken
A meaning for a first to virgin words carried on stuttered verses
Shrouds of dry worthlessness pulled down in curtains
Melted walls collapsed and crumbled
Before devils steps forth a man from puddles of helter skelter
Cut the rope severed from around your soul
Untold restore that boy never felt there or here or anywhere
SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 12-29-2002
Posts 1778
California Desert


1 posted 04-24-2007 06:50 PM       View Profile for SPIRIT   Email SPIRIT   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SPIRIT

First of let me say this could possibly be an impressive piece if one could read it and understand what you are saying.

It is as if you got hold of a Dictionary/Thesaurus and tried to get in as many long and somewhat unusual words that you could, and sad to say it really did not work.

You have many times your tenses mixed up for instance 'perfections' do not 'bred'

What does this mean? 'Sentenced to condemned relations spent genuine originations' - 'imprisoned to predestined relations exhausted real starts'...I am sorry this is the first few lines...where is the sense in it?

'Drag chains down isles in shapes of cowards'...how can you drag chains through water? an isle is surrounded by water, or did you mean aisle?  I want to know just what is the shape of a coward?

I am an old lady and I have to come up for air once in a while and yet not one bit of punctuation was here in approx 1143 words.

You have grasped at words without looking and feeling what you are saying...and the reader sees that and is unfortunately turned off by it, and so does not read.

Every line just about needs understanding and work and a lot of editing...what you put on paper is your autograph and you should sign it with pride.

No offence meant and none taken I hope.

Dinah

starpower
Member
since 04-10-2007
Posts 82
Utah


2 posted 05-28-2007 03:40 PM       View Profile for starpower   Email starpower   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starpower

Nice wirting
 
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