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Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

0 posted 2000-09-06 01:59 PM


Sally Smith should smile,  
she is so sad and shy,
sneaking peeks at strangers
as they stroll slowly by.
Strangers, singing friendly songs
beneath a summer sky
she simply sits in solitude
and shivers with a sigh.
Her spirit is so sorrowful
so singular is she
surrendering, her shoulders slump
against society.



© Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-09-07 12:48 PM


Debbie,
This seems quite excellently done...

Wonderful read...

regards
sudhir.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2000-09-08 05:40 AM


Hi,
I am here again...

last time I said it seems quite excellently done...

now a few more reads later, its time to change the opinion...

It IS an excellently done poem...

loved the sneaking peeks line and the shoulders slumping really leave the thought of a lonelied soul marked rather permanently...

Yes and Sally Smith should smile to come out of the sorrow ....

regards,
sudhir

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-09-09 11:12 AM


Debbie~
Delightfully done !
An enchanting lilt it had when read aloud.
I enjoyed it.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



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