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What's in this? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Can you tell me what I've got here...similies? metaphors? or....? I am the map to your heart driven hard as the car you own Needing soul’s lubrication To mend the seams unsown I take the curves you throw me With traction from years of use Like the worn accelerator Under the foot of your abuse With no brakes to halt this journey I seek parking in hate’s abyss One eye on you and One eye on that tree I can’t miss |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Hmmm would the entire poem be considered didactic?? Oh well-- here goes... 1. metaphor 2. simile 3. symbol 4. trope 5. metaphor 6. symbol 7. simile 8. trope 9. trope/symbol 10. metaphor 11. symbol 12. trope Some unsolicited comments: Line 4 - how do you mend a seam that is not yet a seam since it has never been sewn to begin with?- just wondered. Line 5 - would this be a mixed metaphor?.. It uses the term "curves you throw me" in a context that was inappropriate for that particular metaphor; as it is symbolic of being fooled by something as a batter is fooled by the pitching of a curve ball. Sharon-- now some whining--This was hard--lol but I did enjoy the challenge. Will be interesting to see how wrong I am. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
hey ..pretty good jamie ... can't stop right now but just to say that that was an excellent effort i thought .... (I've been moderated  ..)P [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 07-20-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Okay.... lets see this together with what Jamie thought... I am ramming my dead brain cells now... to see what I studied as figures of speech in school about 15 years back... I agree with most of them... just wondered if symbol meant transferred epithet? and trope: this could be anything a metaphor or hyperbole... (I think the latter) I found the line 4 as either allegory (if you are speaking otherwise to what stated)or antithesis (words do not mean what is true)... btw, I would like a "worn-out" accelerator to replace a "worn" accelerator.. but thats just me rambling... (i thought accelarator is never worn but is usually worn out after abuse) also wondering about the "map's eye" there is a connection lost there, most possibly intended, trying to deviate the readers attention... but if it is indeed a misuse of a metaphor in the first line... one could use a different line say... "I am routed to your heart" probably making it more interesting perhaps or even "I am rooted to your heart" indicating firmness in resolve and hence driven hard by that force... or again totally opposite meaning possessing "inertia" yet (surprisingly "driven hard" .... forgive me for rambling... my poetry is not so good perhaps as my "eye" for visuals etcetra... I am not intending to criticize or pass critiques or judgement... I feel very thankful for letting me speak... regards, sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow - Jamie...go for it!! Generally I agree with your breakdown  ...though I feel compelled to argue the division between symbol and trope, as trope is by definition 'word or expression used figuratively' - this seems to me quite synonymous with symbolism...or even perhaps symbolism is an aspect of trope...If this is the case then like Sudhir says the spectrum of trope could incorporate many things such as metaphor, simile and the other rhetoric devices... I like your stance on the didactics btw Jamie! Suddy - I was wondering...I'm a little confused by your 'map's eye' thing? Ummmm....where is it?? LOL... I also feel that not only are the lines divisible by techniques, but the whole poem also is determined through one function - and that of an extended metaphor...crafted really awesomely I might add. That's why Jamie, though I see your point, I am not sure that the curve was meant to mean anything other than the curve of a 'road' - thrown - ie, the speaker can't get away from it's approach. I'm interested to know...Sharon???? And Phil - iiiip...gonna growl you...Chris and I aren't here to be the fonts of all knowledge - that's not our purpose...I see the funny side hon...but if a new person to the forum read that, I would be concerned that they might form an expection of us that is incorrect! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...K |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kamla, The map is on the first and the eyes are on the last two lines... and they to me didnot complete my picture... but thats the way I see things much too differently from the rest of the world... So I suggested that the "I" of the poem be routed towards or be rooted at place... with one "eye" towards the heart and the other to the tree.... hey I am giggling with the Is and the eyes  regards, sudhir |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
eye knew i would not get away with trope... people always want to know the make of the car.......lol---(i just knew these were cars..) and just for the record-- you can throw a baseball; you can throw a tantrum; you can throw a party; you can throw a game; you can even throw down and up,heck-you can make a throw, ... and it is after all a "trope" (hehe) so buckle up, you never know when you are going to be thrown a curve Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"And Phil - iiiip...gonna growl you...Chris and I aren't here to be the fonts of all knowledge - that's not our purpose...I see the funny side hon...but if a new person to the forum read that, I would be concerned that they might form an expection of us that is incorrect! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr..." you are so right O mighty marsupial .. I have made a suitable adjustment i hope ... SP |
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