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Passions in Poetry

photosynthesis

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 04-15-2000 01:53 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

This soil bears your footprints
And basins where you knelt.
(you can see earthworm tips
and green plant bits
and roots
and crumbles)

Each flower is a word you said
Thirsting for the sunlight,
Turning colorless with wilt.

What I have of you is a photo
And my synthesizer.
Remember how I used to float and dip
My hands so effortlessly to play you music?

It was all a lie. It took me eleven and a half years
To appear to have been born with a gift.
And our gift together, which appeared even stronger,
Died in the frantic lift and fall of 730 suns.

That's it. That first kiss we shared
Under the dark of the silver oak,
Little fingers of leaves rustling in santa monica seabreeze --
That was T-minus 730.
Hours of phone calls -- who knows how many cold, wet coins clutched in the rain and pushed into the slot to hear your voice. T-minus 700.
The time we spent baking cookies (my excuses at my ineptness as raw -- and hopefully tasty to you -- as the chocolate drop dough)
T-minus 500. (your mom came in and talked with careful eyes placing blame everywhere you weren't, that's why)

More kisses. More this that and other. More yes no maybe okay no thanks yes please all right it's not okay thank you i hate you f___ you no not really.

T-minus 30 was the worst of all. I remember it storming outside, the violent, dry sky suddenly wet with rain and electricity. How the bolt shot right into a tree out the window and there was a quick, blue glow, and then black charred wood splitting dryly like the sky.

That's my imagination.

But that's how the phone call went. Couldn't even face me in person. Then our fumbling attempts at regaining friendship -- ash cocktail, extra salt.

Still, I know it's not your fault.

So I'll sit out here for a while, under the transplanted sun of living 3,000 miles away from where I was born.

And here, alone,
belong.
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


1 posted 04-15-2000 01:59 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

What a great analogy, Squirrel.  
I could fill the cold wet coins.

Thanks for sharing --
You are not alone.

Warm Regards,
Teresa King
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


2 posted 04-15-2000 02:01 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

What a great analogy, Squirrel.  
I could feel the cold wet coins.

Thanks for sharing --
You are not alone.

Warm Regards,
Teresa King
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 04-15-2000 02:45 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

That's it. That first kiss we shared
Under the dark of the silver oak,
Little fingers of leaves rustling in santa monica seabreeze --
That was T-minus 730.
Hours of phone calls -- who knows how many cold, wet coins clutched in the rain and pushed into the slot to hear your voice. T-minus 700.
The time we spent baking cookies (my excuses at my ineptness as raw -- and hopefully tasty to you -- as the chocolate drop dough)
T-minus 500. (your mom came in and talked with careful eyes placing blame everywhere you weren't, that's why)
------------------
T-minus 30 was the worst of all. I remember it storming outside, the violent, dry sky suddenly wet with rain and electricity. How the bolt shot right into a tree out the window and there was a quick, blue glow, and then black charred wood splitting dryly like the sky.

That's my imagination.

But that's how the phone call went. Couldn't even face me in person. Then our fumbling attempts at regaining friendship -- ash cocktail, extra salt.

Still, I know it's not your fault.

So I'll sit out here for a while, under the transplanted sun of living 3,000 miles away from where I was born.

And here, alone,
belong.

-------------

ok...
damn...
so...
I truly dont know where to start with this one...
I think my awe of it really takes my words.
(words now returning after another read)
To say the metaphors are of perfection
seems redundant, or perhaps unnecessary...as they reach out and either slap or kiss the reader...take your pick (smile)
and the anology of the years counting off is brilliant...
and as always there are your emotions so quietly lying there at the edges...which is
my most fav thing about your poetry...
sometimes it actually scares me how much I relate to them.*S*
very cool piece of work BSQ...
jm

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 04-15-2000 04:37 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Now you've gone and broke my heart.
This is SO sad, and I feel...so...

Oh, I guess that was the point...Ouch, Mike.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 04-15-2000 03:00 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

netswan,
Cool name. Thanks for reading. And I don't think I'm alone, just in waiting.

JM,
C'mon, it's not THAT good.   Seriously, I'm glad you enjoy my work, but please don't worship it. Admire the craft, sure; but once you place it above and beyond just words assembled together, the poem is no longer something immediate and relevant, but timeless -- something to be viewed at your leisure under glass or hanging on a gallery wall; impact all but gone. That's a great fate for poetry after the poet is dead. But living, it saps any and all experiments, permutations, feelings a poet might try to express, and sticks it all into the dreaded category of "Wow, I could never match this!" Still, glad you enjoyed.  

S,
I think of this more as bittersweet than outright sad. Maybe I've just weathered the emotions so much in me that it doesn't affect me anymore.

Thanks all, for reading, and responding.

Mike
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


6 posted 04-15-2000 04:06 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

BSQ,
I understand what your saying here, as always words of poetic wisdom,
but I'd like to disagree...at least for MY reading of poetry.
Perhaps I do "worship" poetry...I know that when I read ones that effect me, I am taken with them or by them.I love poetry and the way it makes me feel.
I cant speak for anyone else...but it does not lose its impact for me. A favorite poem read over and over for years...effects me the same as the first read. Thats just the way I love poetry.
Thats just me... often over-emotional about it...definatly.
I will try to behave myself when reading  and replying to yours...(smile)
I would never wish to impune creativity or to put you in the before mentioned "cant top this category"...though why YOU would worry  escapes me  
thanks for the advice...even if my poets heart wont take it. *S*
later gator,
jm
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


7 posted 04-16-2000 04:02 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

JM,
That's fine -- and eloquently put. Well, you already read my response to your e-mail, so you know no harm done.   As always, thanks for reading, responding, and other r words.

'night.

Mike
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


8 posted 04-16-2000 02:09 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Mike,

I can not add to previous comments of praise.  I think the work is outstanding. Using the "count down" was a great inspiration. As I read through the responses, my pressing question was answered. I am sorry that there is a basis for the poem, in real life.  Hang in there man, you have a lot of friends here.

INclan
 
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