a suggestion,Marge...maybe you should use "loud roars" in the first line rather than "thunder"...after all,you have used thunder in the third line and since we all know how valuable words are in haiku,why repeat them? ")
a suggestion only...after all,i am only a budding haikuist myself!
Florida's Foreverly Shores
Your suggestion of 'loud roars' within sounds to me like it's almost lunch time. (and that wouldn't be a correct 5-syllable count)
Now if you meant 'loud roars' rolls within (that would be a tongue twister)
Thunder rolls ... and then does it again thusly ... Thunder resounds. Some things just bear repeating to this poets mind.
Since we all know it's not the word count that makes the Haiku format ... it's the syllable count, I would think that repetition of a word is most acceptable when it adds to the dimension and clarity of the Haiku.
Thank you so much for your kind observations. ~*Marge*~
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ email@example.com