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Passions in Poetry

The Jawbone Lane Incident

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Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


0 posted 03-15-2000 09:05 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Jon Mewett

As I walked home down Jawbone lane
And pondering quietly on that name
The virgin snow was lapping at my feet
The sermon which I’d talked and told
Delivered in a church so cold
Not many souls had come to take their seat

I’d talked about life and death
Sin and forgiveness in one breathe
But I knew the seeds were falling on dry loam
We’d sang the songs drank the wine
Gave thanks’ for a friend of mine
I’d bid them peace and sent the small flock home

I’d slammed closed shut the huge oak door
I’d turned into the lane once more
And here I was trudging on my round
The air was sharp and icy clear
As narrow path I tried to steer
Then I saw a shape crumpled on the ground

The shape just lay there stony still
As I approached from down the hill
What it was the Lord Himself could only guess
Just by the hedge now to the right
There lay another awful sight
A motorcycle crumpled in a mess

I approached the shape the fallen man
I thought I’d do just what I can
And oh so gently…I lifted up his head
He was quite still….just lying there
With blood now seeping through his hair
It was now clear …this man was nearly dead

And then his eyes flicked open wide
I quickly left the vanquished side
And rushed to get some water from the beck
He looked as though his soul was bared
As now with flicking lids he stared
At the crucifix hanging around my neck

It seemed to lift his spirit so
His breathing now was soft and slow
And then he gave a long and lonely cry
‘Forgive me father with that jewel
I’ve been so vile I’ve been so cruel
Forgive me now this night before I die’

I lay the cross upon his head
‘You are forgiven friend’ I said
I said the things that fathers often say
He held my hand clutched my arm
And then I felt his turmoil calm
His eyes fell closed and his spirit slipped away

The scene returned to silence then
I was about to leave so sudden …when
The next thing there it made my mind unfurl
As I raised my eyes from him
In gossamer..,gaunt and thin
I saw the outline of a. ………Little girl

‘It’s over now’ she sweetly said
With golden curls around her head
In her small hand she held a cherished cup
And then outlined in frosty air
The next event I witnessed there
The spectre of the broken man….stood up

My heart stopped dead in disbelief
It wasn’t joy it wasn’t grief
As the ghost the Childs’ hand... he kissed
And then a burst lit up the sky
And before I asked the question…why?
The two dissolved into the winters’ mist

The next day after troubled sleep
I wondered back to tend my sheep
I bought my usual paper on the way
I find it hard to write this tale
For when I read my skin runs pale
But in brief I’ll tell you what the papers say

As to my face the papers hold
And reading there in words so bold
The words so big they make my being lurch
In my belief it strengthens me
For forgiveness reigned that night you see
It read
A LIITLE GIRL MURDERD NEAR A CHURCH


Jon Mewett

Near where I live there is a narrow lane of this name.It leads to a small ancient church.

This is my attemt to hang a 'Legend' on this haunted place.

© Copyright 2000 Jon Mewett - All Rights Reserved
childomine
Senior Member
since 01-25-2000
Posts 822
st. petersburg, FL


1 posted 03-15-2000 10:01 AM       View Profile for childomine   Email childomine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for childomine

Jon - your "attempt" has covered me with chills.  Haunting in it's events, beautifully peaceful in it's forgiveness - wonderfully written.  This is absolutely awesome!!!!!
Walter Ego
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since 03-07-2000
Posts 5


2 posted 03-15-2000 12:15 PM       View Profile for Walter Ego   Edit/Delete Message      Click to visit Walter Ego's Home Page   View IP for Walter Ego

I love this ! Never again can I pass a litte church without thinking of your story.
I really enjoyed how you build (up?)this story to the end. Do you have more ?  
wonderous
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 75


3 posted 03-15-2000 03:41 PM       View Profile for wonderous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wonderous

you have the gift of making everything so vivid.
though i must confess i dont understand the T
is it some sort of style?
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 03-15-2000 04:09 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This gave me chills too, Jon. Excellent writing!

Denise
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


5 posted 03-15-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Awesome story you tell here Jon !
Another Heather
Member
since 02-17-2000
Posts 93
Canada


6 posted 03-16-2000 02:34 AM       View Profile for Another Heather   Email Another Heather   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Another Heather

Jon, you have such an amazing style to your writing, this one is no exception. but I'm afraid I didn't totally understand your legend. Who murdered the girl? sorry if it's a stupid question but I've read it again and again and I still can't figure it out...:0

 "Be yourself... No matter what they say"
- Sting
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


7 posted 03-16-2000 04:35 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Thanks everyone for your kind comments.

Although I believe a piece of Art,or intended Art, in my case, has a life of it's own once it has left the authors or creators
table,I will try and cast a light on this piece.
I know every ones reading can be different and they are all valid,thats the great thing in all of this.

'Who murderd the little girl?'
Good question

The inference is that the priest had forgiven the injured man without the knowledge  that a murder had taken place that night.
The apparition the priest saw was of the murder victim also forgiving the man for her own murder.This is what the priest believed he saw.
On reflection of the events that night the priests own  flagging faith was also strengthend.  

But it could have been a coincedence and the dying man was just the innocent victim of a motor cycle accident?

Look again what do you think?

I'm intersested.


I not sure I understand the question about the T.
Is it the spelling of Spectre.

Try me again.

I'm not sure of the protocol of having these discussions,but I enjoy them.

Jon

Theres joy in heaven for every sinner that repents
Gene
Senior Member
since 01-23-2000
Posts 940
Colorado, USA


8 posted 03-16-2000 12:31 PM       View Profile for Gene   Email Gene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Gene's Home Page   View IP for Gene

Jon,

This is hauntingly, beautiful. You weave a very vivid tale.

Here's the way I interpreted it:
The irony was that the motorcycle victim was the one that murdered the girl and ended up dying in the same spot--almost like she beckoned him there. That's pretty eerie.  Then the girl forgave him, because now her spirit was freed.

~Gene

[This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 03-16-2000).]
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


9 posted 03-16-2000 01:50 PM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Gene you have an incisive mind.
Hopefuly more interpretations will follow.

Watch this space.

Jon
Jon Mewett
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since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


10 posted 03-17-2000 05:59 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Is there anybody out there?
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


11 posted 03-17-2000 12:26 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

I liked this...the eerie feel, the mystery. I think the motorcycle guy murdered the little girl and she wrought her revenge on him! LOL

What fun!
More More

~X~
rich-pa
Member
since 02-07-2000
Posts 325
New Orleans, Louisiana


12 posted 03-17-2000 03:19 PM       View Profile for rich-pa   Email rich-pa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rich-pa

it was a very good piece, it was vivid.  i think that if you maybe gave more clues that the mtorcyclist had done something bad recently then it woulkd be easier to assume that he was the killer.  right now, as it is, you can still assume he was an innocent...or is that your intent?
Jon Mewett
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since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


13 posted 03-18-2000 04:38 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Everyones own interpretation is correct.

Could the dying man be the 'Friend' the priest spoke about in the sermon?


You can never tell.

Jon
wonderous
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 75


14 posted 03-19-2000 03:29 PM       View Profile for wonderous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wonderous

hi
sorry i havent been around cause i had to submit a dissertation si i have missed out on this very interesting discussion
i agree with ugenes interpretation thought the same
the T is not referring to any spelling i was just wondering about the insertion of the capital T in the words is it some style of writing?
please let me know
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


15 posted 03-19-2000 04:22 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Excellent work...you've done a great job here...scary....
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


16 posted 03-20-2000 10:07 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Hi wonderous

The T you talk of is the capital T at the start of a new line.I think that's what you mean.

It's just a way of making the verse look tidy on the page.

Poetic licence-- The only licence that is FREE.

It's a wonderous thing.

Jon

childomine
Senior Member
since 01-25-2000
Posts 822
st. petersburg, FL


17 posted 03-20-2000 11:02 AM       View Profile for childomine   Email childomine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for childomine

Jon - my interpretation is that the priest was losing faith because of his disinterested congregation and possibly the lack of feeling Gods presence in his own life.  I interpret the "friend" spoken of in the beginning as Jesus.  I also came away with the feeling that the little girl was murdered by the man on the motorcycle but I "felt' that as he was leaving the scene of the murder is when he came to his own end.  The little girl forgave him and BOTH of their souls could than be free.  This all buoyed the priests faith - to have been witness to such a "miracle".  Again - excellent - EXCELLENT piece of work!!!
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


18 posted 03-20-2000 12:56 PM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

Childomine

Your powers of interpretation are fantastic.

Thanks for your comments.

Jon

twinsgd
Member
since 02-13-2000
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada


19 posted 03-22-2000 03:45 AM       View Profile for twinsgd   Email twinsgd   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for twinsgd

Great story Jon Mewett
Perhaps the Priest was witness to the "Other side" the "Parallel Universe"......two entirely different events at the same time...."a burst lit up the sky".....a rent in the time space continuum?.....great stuff Jon.
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 03-04-2000
Posts 1306


20 posted 03-22-2000 04:19 AM       View Profile for Jon Mewett   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jon Mewett

This is interesting twinsgd.
I've always had an interest in that sort of thing,you know the fish in the water can't percieve what's on the bank of the river.

But what does he make of the ripple he can see when you touch the surface of his world.

Kind of makes you think don't it.

Jon

John the cat
Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 357
England


21 posted 03-24-2000 08:37 PM       View Profile for John the cat   Email John the cat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for John the cat

I would just love the ability to tell a story like this. To make it scan too seems almost too much to ask. You have a great gift.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


22 posted 04-14-2000 08:10 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This has been moved here from The Corner Pub at the author's request.

Denise
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


23 posted 04-14-2000 08:36 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Jon,
I don't know the true meaning, but it doesn't matter. Your poem is so well written and captivating. I believe the fact that it is left open to inerpretation is a sign of a great poem. Congratulations on this wonderful piece
Liz
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


24 posted 04-14-2000 08:40 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Finely crafted.  Enjoyed muchly.
Jon Mewett will be notified of replies
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