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Passions in Poetry

Sonnet

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Echo Rhayne
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since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


0 posted 04-14-2000 02:45 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Echo Rhayne

The heaven where upon the gates I stand-
Earth still prevails ‘neath the intricate sky.
Angels sing above thy resplendent hand.
Above life’s coarse whisper, faintly thy cry.
Rest, neglect your bitter remembrance be-
Cling within the feeble incoming dawn!
Now from the gracious night you lightly flee,
Till the gold gates are closed, thee now is gone.
Blood drops create life’s last dark end of day;
Who lie unknown beneath the ground and stone.
Take wait with time thy beauty turns to gray.
Bitter deaths bring forth God’s enduring moan.
Listen from your hard and forgotten mind.
God fill’d your heart with all you need to find!



 I'm not waving, I'm drowning!


© Copyright 2000 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved
Jeffrey Carter
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Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


1 posted 04-14-2000 02:51 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

I Like It
great read

Jeffrey
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


2 posted 04-14-2000 09:08 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Melanie, I'm so glad to see you post again! You don't know how much I've missed your work!  This is Majestic sweetie! He sure did fill us with all we need. If only we'd realize that  
Big bear hugs to ya!!!
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 04-14-2000 09:35 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful thoughts in this, Melanie! So glad to see you back here posting again! Nice to see your beautiful face again, too. I only had a two second glimpse at it before! (Melanie, will you please stop rolling your eyes like that!...hehehehe)

Denise
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
4 posted 04-14-2000 10:19 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Hi Melanie ....  
So great to see you here again .. I've missed you and your wonderful talent ... Love the pic,too ......



 "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind."
Maxwell Maltz
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


5 posted 04-14-2000 07:11 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

bump
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


6 posted 04-14-2000 07:22 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Hi melanie,
  Good to see you posting again.  Wonderful piece you've come back with too.  The last two lines say so much here.  With so much going on in my life of late, that's a message I sure needed to here.  Thank you so much.


Michael
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


7 posted 04-14-2000 08:40 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

"God fill’d your heart with all you need to find!"

The important thing is to recognize it when we see it... Nice job, Melanie..
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


8 posted 04-14-2000 08:46 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Have missed your posts.  Wonderfully written.
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


9 posted 04-15-2000 04:01 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Jeffrey...Thank you!

'Becca...Yes I do know, you only tell me every time we talk    and you didn't have to bump me!!!

Denise...*rolling eyes and sticking out tongue*  I think you can see through the 'puter screen and see me rolling my eyes, cause you always know when I do    LoL

Pepper...Missed you too!  *rolling eyes at the picture comment*

Michael...Glad you got something out of it.  Ive missed ya man!

Nan...Thanks Nan!  And you're right, the important thing is to recognize it when we see it!

Mike...Thanks buddy...missed yours as well!  I cant say that I will be around much, maybe just pop in once in a while, but I dont know as of yet!

I need some opinions on this poem though...Does it sound Shakespearean at all to anyone?  I know, I know, weird question, and I do have a reasonable answer to why Im asking, but not yet =)  Just want some opinions if it does or not for now...any would be appreaciated!

 I'm not waving, I'm drowning!


Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


10 posted 04-15-2000 08:06 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Echo~
Hello, young lady !  
Good to see you again.
Lovely comeback.
Keep 'em coming.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


11 posted 04-15-2000 08:11 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Beautiful Melanie!! Glad to see you posting again  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


12 posted 04-15-2000 08:13 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Marge...Thanks, but not sure how many I will keep coming....Probably wont be posting much, but oh well  

Angel...Thank you  

 I'm not waving, I'm drowning!


Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


13 posted 04-15-2000 11:35 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Hey Melanie...

To answer your question about "Shakespearean"...

Your rhyme scheme, abab-cdcd-efef-gg, is definitely in order.  Your meter just needs a little "nip and tuck" here and there to become consistent iambic pentameter.  Your first line is perfect.  Listen to the beat... -/-/-/-/-/.... If you modify the rest to coincide, you'll have a perfect Shakespearean sonnet...
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


14 posted 04-15-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Melanie!!

So good to see you (really see you!) again!

You have been missed, and this poem is wonderful. .. I think that Nan has covered the form of the poem quite well, and I like the words that you have chosen, I can just see a Bard with his lute, singing to the crowd gathered at court. . .

Excellent poem!!

------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


15 posted 04-16-2000 08:08 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This is the first of yours I've had the pleasure to read, and I just loved it!

 Kathleen

redheart angrybraids
Member
since 04-16-2000
Posts 422
honolulu, hawaii


16 posted 04-16-2000 08:14 PM       View Profile for redheart angrybraids   Email redheart angrybraids   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redheart angrybraids

the words a beautifully put,
i'm not a god person, but that doesn't matter i still think the poem is very well writen, and i know what you mean by the feeling of god. thank you for your well trained words.
kindly,
redheart angrybraids
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