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Jeffrey Carter
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State of constant confusion!

0 posted 2000-04-14 12:21 PM


I can't seem to find the words
      to say just how I feel
My pain is ever growing
      since they put you on that hill
I stop by to say I miss you
      almost every day
I pray that God above will soon
      take this hurt away

I can still see you lying there
      in a bloody heap
I wish that I could close my eyes
      and this memory delete
It haunts me every waking hour
      and in every wink of sleep
Ever losing grip on sanity
      no longer mine to keep

I would give most anything
     if I could change history
Cause in my heart I know that you
     should be here instead of me
In my cell, my private Hell
     locked inside my head
If I hadn't had too much to drink
     then you would not be dead

**********************************

Don't take this litterally I am not speaking from experience. It's just something that came to me

Jeffrey




[This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 04-14-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved
Jeffrey Carter
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1 posted 2000-04-14 01:20 AM


Sorry to darken the mood for anyone. Just thought you might enjoy. At least I hope you do.

Jeffrey

devina
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
2 posted 2000-04-14 01:24 AM


This was excellent writing m'friend, you've showed emotion in depth...perfect!!!

Might I offer you a late welcome??


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
3 posted 2000-04-14 01:24 AM


Many familiar emotions and feelings here. Past memories can be a living hell when locked away inside.

 Not all those who wander are lost. ~J.R.R. Tolkien

WhiteNite
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241
Montgomery, AL
4 posted 2000-04-14 01:39 AM


Actually I like it... good read.

I think it takes more skill to express so vividly feelings that are not your own, than it does to express the ones you can write from first hand.



 "The storm rises up when the shadows descend
every beat of my heart every day without end
I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break
till theres no more to give if thats what it takes
I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed
I will lay down my life if thats what you need
every second I live thats the promise I make"

I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =)



NamelessOne
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 197
Biloxi MS
5 posted 2000-04-14 01:39 AM


wow deep stuff and the ending was a punch in the gut.well done jeffrey
netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
6 posted 2000-04-14 01:48 AM


Jeff, this is great. -- And a great message
to send out to people. I hope you can
PUBLISH it.  

 Teresa King
www.tipsfortop.com

Jeffrey Carter
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7 posted 2000-04-14 02:44 AM


devina.....thank you for your comment..I am not worthy of such praise   and I feel very welcome here at "home"

Eagle One....How True

WhiteNite...I thank you much

Thank you NamelessOne..as I said I'm not worthy

netswan...I agree that this is a strong message, but i'm not so sure that it is worthy of being published....but I certainly appreciate the compliment

Jeffrey

Michael
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
8 posted 2000-04-14 05:02 AM


Oh My - the title alone sucked me into this once.  Excellent portrayal of guilt here.  Powerful words.


Michael

Jeffrey Carter
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9 posted 2000-04-14 08:38 AM


Micheal, That is truly a compliment coming from you. Thank you for making my day.

Jeffrey

[This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 04-14-2000).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-04-14 10:03 AM


Jeffery...this is truly a wonderful piece of writing...nicely done  
Friday
New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 8
Vaasa, Finland
11 posted 2000-04-14 11:42 AM


Not written from experience.... well.. You did well without experience aswell... You are definitely a real poet...
hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA
12 posted 2000-04-14 11:55 AM


Excellent work, Jeffrey - you definitely have  a gift!  It moves me to respond as you did to one of my poems.  I think you said something like, "don't take this the wrong way - but, I love you, man!"  Well, back at ya!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm

Jeffrey Carter
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13 posted 2000-04-14 04:58 PM


Thank you all for your compliments. They are greatly appreciated. I cannot tell you how it feels to finally feel like someone really cares enough to read my thoughts. I'd just like to say " I LOVE YOU ALL" Thanks for making this place feel  like HOME

Jeffrey

LoveBug
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14 posted 2000-04-14 06:20 PM


This is an excellent poem about a subject that has touched each and every one of us at least once. Keep up the good work.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
15 posted 2000-04-14 06:20 PM


I'm not sure that "enjoy" is a word I would use but certainly gives the feeling of anguish but I wonder if that is how someone feels when they are in that position...sorry, too close to home so made me think..

HUGS

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
16 posted 2000-04-14 06:51 PM


Strong writing about a very sad subject.
Jeffrey Carter
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17 posted 2000-04-14 11:39 PM


Love Bug, It has touched way too many lives. Such a sad fact of society.

Rainbow, Now that I have had time to think about it I agree that "enjoy" was the wrong word in this situation. And I think this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone (just my opinion ) to know that you are partly if not wholly responsible for the death of someone you love all because you made a stupid mistake. I think if I was in this situation this would be pretty much how I felt. "In my cell, my private Hell, locked inside my head.

Martie,
Very sad indeed

Thank you all for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated.

Jeffrey

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