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CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA

0 posted 2000-04-13 10:51 PM



I saw her standing there,
at the counter across the aisle
from the condoms,
staring right at me.

For just a moment
I thought I saw something
in her face, then
I saw her mouth move
to form the word "hi"

My eyes moved,
slowly,
down from her mouth,
down across her chin,
down the line of her neck
and across where
her tight white t-shirt
perfectly outlined her
full,firm breasts,
down to her bare, tan belly
where her fingers
nervously played with
a tiny silver ring.

I pulled my eyes
back up to meet hers
and caught her quickly
scanning the condom packages.
Then she looked at me
and smiled,
and turned and walked outside...

My heart was pounding
as I stepped up to the counter
with a box of Trojans
and a twenty...

Christopher M. Grimm  2000



 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



© Copyright 2000 Christopher M. Grimm - All Rights Reserved
Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
1 posted 2000-04-13 10:54 PM


Nice dream Chris.....lol

Jeffrey

tickle tickle
New Member
since 2000-04-03
Posts 7

2 posted 2000-04-14 01:55 AM


safe sex is always the best way.....that you incorporated this into your poem and still evoked emotions...well done
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
3 posted 2000-04-14 01:58 AM


omanomanomanomanoman this killed me yuh and i too say wake up there CM  

 All Day I Dream About Stanzas!!

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
4 posted 2000-04-14 07:15 AM


LMAO at yuh walt...it's not a dream, it's not a dream, it's not....okay...maybe it is, but that is for me to know and for you to only ponder....lmao.

Thanks Jeffrey and Tickle....nice to know someone appreciates...

chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
5 posted 2000-04-14 08:21 AM


Chris...your writing is excellent. I know I've said it before, but if you're not published, you certainly should be. Wonderful piece  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-04-14 11:16 AM


this is so very well written,
when I saw the title,I was expecting something different...but this is so great...
the detail and imagery are perfect...i feel like i was there watching this happen, but also you have written the emotions as well as the imagery...i can feel the connection being made, and the anticipation,
very cool poem here.
take care, jm

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon



Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
7 posted 2000-04-14 11:26 AM


Wonderful imagery ... and title ... I was expecting something quite different, myself ......
Perfect writing here, Chris .......

 "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind."
Maxwell Maltz

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-04-14 11:38 AM


Chris, in this piece you're direct and subtle almost in the same breath. Finely writ, my dear!

~ Claire

hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA
9 posted 2000-04-14 12:51 PM


Nice work, Chris!  The title pulled me in, and the poem made me glad I had taken the detour!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2000-04-14 02:17 PM


Great writing here--so real and imagery filled...well done!
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
11 posted 2000-04-14 07:54 PM


Thanks to all...
My dearest Ruth, Beautiful Janet, Wonderful Pepper, Fantasmicaly Beautiful CLaire, My man Troy, and Wonderful Martie...for your "Oh too kind" comments.  Im so glad you could read and enjoy.

Chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2000-04-14 08:25 PM


Chris,
Writing like this takes talent!!!  I agree with Rith, get it published!!!  This was great!!  Must admit...it was the title that pulled me in.  Too funny!!!  

 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
13 posted 2000-04-15 09:16 AM


Thanks Lone Wolf...I'm Trying...lol

chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
14 posted 2000-04-15 02:14 PM


~~~~~~~~~Nice creative writing~~~~~~~
NamelessOne
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 197
Biloxi MS
15 posted 2000-04-15 02:20 PM


very well done CMGRIMM, i`ll be looking for part two..
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
16 posted 2000-04-16 10:47 AM


Thanks Danny and Nameless.
Part two will probably have to be seen from the adult forum however...lol

anyway, thanks for the replies.

chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



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