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Passions in Poetry

Final Sleep

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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


0 posted 04-13-2000 12:45 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mistikman

I wrote this as a project for my English class, my teacher wanted me to write a villanelle, so heres my best shot at it  

Now I lay down for final sleep
Upon this bed I shall forever lie
Do not bow your head and weep

Tired of playing part of blackest sheep
I have no more need to lay and cry
Now I lay down for final sleep

I dug myself into a pit too deep
I could not look out to see the sky
Do not bow your head and weep

This is my fate for a life too cheap
I could not spread my wings and fly
Now I lay down for final sleep

No one knows the thoughts I keep
Thoughts that end this very nigh
Do not bow your head and weep

I sowed the seeds that I now reap
Time has arrived for me to die
Now I lay down for final sleep
Do not bow your head and weep


[This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 04-13-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 04-13-2000 10:57 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

its always so sad mistik yuh yet you do well with the dark pieces you write  

 All Day I Dream About Stanzas!!
Jeffrey Carter
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since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


2 posted 04-13-2000 11:02 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

So dark yet so beautiful

Jeffrey
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


3 posted 04-13-2000 05:00 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Thanks to both of you for reading my poem, this one was in extreme danger of fading away with 0 replies  
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


4 posted 04-13-2000 07:36 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Boy! These are so hard to write! I've tried it and it hurt!!! I think the theme is good for a Villanelle...(sounds like a villain to me)....Let us know what grade you got on it.. aren't you glad you post here and we can help with your homework..now about that math...........  
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


5 posted 04-13-2000 08:03 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Poetry from the heart, there kiddo.
Be interesting how your poem does with
your teacher.  Keep us posted.

It is amazing how some teachers will let
you write your heart out, while others
will stifle the creativity of your soul.

Death makes great poetry - the dark side
of life, yet inevitable.  Keep up your
writing!



 Teresa King
www.tipsfortop.com
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 04-13-2000 10:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very sad yet well written!

Denise
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


7 posted 04-14-2000 12:08 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Poet deVine- Bah, I need not help in Math, that is the area in which I excell the most   I love calculus  

netswan- That is where I am lucky, I have the coolest English teacher in the world   He loves when I write whats really in my heart, and has been the main supporter of my poetry, in real life of course.

dsnyder- Thank you
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


8 posted 04-14-2000 12:12 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Well if I was your teacher, I'd give ya an A don't ya know!  Please keep us posted and let us know what you do get on it. Far better than anything I could have attempted  
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 04-14-2000 12:30 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mystik~
This is truly well done.
I'm so pleased for you that
your English teacher appreciates
your poetry.

My goodness, does that thought
bring back memories of a ninth grade
English teacher, Mr. Joseph Pearce
who was the first teacher who ever
told me that I had a talent for writing.
I've never forgotten him ... and was
pleased to be able to present him with
my first web-published poem before he
passed away.

Thank you for bringing his memory
to the surface of my heart.

I'm sure you will remember your
teacher with the same fondness that I do.

Wonderful writing, talented young man !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


10 posted 04-14-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Such a dark side of you, but very good nonetheless!  I have written a poem or two about a sleep which I don't ever awake from.  I think we all feel like that at one time or another...we just need time to stop, so we can dust ourselves off, and rest a bit.  Great job you did with this!
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


11 posted 04-14-2000 10:41 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

WhtDove- Oh, the chances of me not getting an A are slim to none   I bet you could easily do better if you tried, you have years of practice and experience on me  

Marge Tindal- I had a similar experience with my english teacher, and I doubt I will be able to forget him for a very long time  

poetFemmeFatale- Thanks   My dark side is much much stronger than my light side when it comes to poetry, I just cant write good happy poetry  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 04-14-2000 10:46 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

That's a tough one to do...but you pulled it off well  
Friday
New Member
since 04-14-2000
Posts 8
Vaasa, Finland


13 posted 04-14-2000 11:50 AM       View Profile for Friday   Email Friday   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Friday

I do hope you got an A. This is poetry at it's best... dark, intense...

Frida

 The moon shines bright/in such a night as this/when the sweet wind/did gently kiss the trees/and they made no noise/in such a night

Shakespeare... I think. I simply love these lines.
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


14 posted 04-14-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

hoot_owl_rn- Why thank you   It wasnt quite as hard as I thought it would be, it just kinda flowed outta me like this.

Friday- Oh, I doubt that I would get anything less with this poem   Hes grading me along with the rest of the class, most of which dont even care about poetry.
LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


15 posted 04-14-2000 06:18 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

So sad, but so good... as always.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
 
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