navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Deer at Dusk
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Deer at Dusk Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-04-12 05:53 PM




Deer at Dusk


The ocean swallowed the sun,
it was Monterey in l981
when love was new
and nights were beginnings.

The folding sea
opened in lines of foam,
slow and predictable
with the heartbeat of earth
as the sky tinted
your soft look
and melted me.

As darkness descended
the pine grew eerie,
splayed out and molded
by invisible hands of wind.

Your arm was heavy on my shoulder
and my thumb held your belt loop
as we cross the moon strewn grass
of a golf course,
quietly sleuthing in trespass.

We had entered through
a hole in a fence,
just the right size
for romantic squeeze
to slip through, you said.

A movement on the lawn
startled our lawless amble,
angry guard dog we thought,
but as we gazed
a statue came to life,
then another caught
in graceful dance.

They were the deer at dusk
softly nibbling and giving
no attention to our surprise
for they must have thought their magic
was all that we had come for
as they posed with fawn in frolic.

No evening escapade
has ever held quite the same enchant
as that night in Monterey
with you and I
and the deer at dusk,
when the ocean swallowed the sun,
in l981,
for love was new
and nights were beginnings
and dusk was dear.


© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2000-04-12 06:34 PM


HAH! You should see me in the morning!

Exquisite as always, Martie......

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-04-12 06:40 PM


dear deer, I knew when I posted this that it would catch your eye...LOL...thanks for your wonderful sense of humor and your always kind comments!
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

3 posted 2000-04-12 08:18 PM


Martie, I rarely print out any poetry, relying on the wisdom of Ron to keep Passions operating for perpetuity.  I had to print this one out however.  You knew about the deer we have that feed at the neighbors; we also have a golf course nearby in the sandhills on which many deer roam.  (in Kansas, we say the deer and the antelope roam alot) but I digress, an exquisite poem Martie... for I see the deer on the golf course as dusk equally as well in your poem as I do in real life.
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
4 posted 2000-04-12 08:30 PM


I've never been on a golf course, but I've been in many meadows and clearings at dusk when the deer come to feed.  Staying very still, I have watched their graceful movements; their careful alertness; their quiet beauty.
~ ~ ~
You took me to those memories so beautifully.  I loved your poem.  Personification of joy and hope, in a dusk that was dear, while the ocean swallowed the sun.  (What an exquisite way to describe it!)
~ ~ ~



[This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 04-12-2000).]

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-04-12 08:56 PM


Beautiful, Martie! I love it!

Denise

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2000-04-12 09:59 PM


Beautiful, Martie.  Your use of imagery and recollections/descriptions are so lovely!

Corinne

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-04-12 11:19 PM


Mike, you mean mine wasn't the only magical golf course--and you get to see them all the time and I only this once. I'm so glad this one appealed to you.

Rosemary--thank you, my friend, for being so dear.

Denise--thanks for the beautiful love and happy birthday.

Corinne--Thank you--your opinion means alot to me.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-04-13 12:08 PM


Martie, the way you've shared that night with these words is magic. Beautiful writing!

~ Claire

weaubleau
Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101
MO
9 posted 2000-04-13 12:12 PM


amazing.

there for a minute, i thought i was in monterey with you...wonderful picture painted in my mind.

lovely poetry

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2000-04-13 10:16 AM


Claire and weaubleau--I'm so glad that you could share the experience with me.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 2000-04-13 09:01 PM


You know how to make dusk a whole new experience, Martie..
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2000-04-13 09:39 PM


wonderfully romantic!

 Kathleen


Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
13 posted 2000-04-14 11:45 AM


What a wonderful romantic story.  The kind that is never lost from memory, just one of those moments in time that never fade.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2000-04-14 01:21 PM


Nan, Kathleen, Danny--Thank you so much for enjoying this romantic evening with me.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Deer at Dusk

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary