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Passions in Poetry

Deer at Dusk

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Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


0 posted 04-12-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie



Deer at Dusk


The ocean swallowed the sun,
it was Monterey in l981
when love was new
and nights were beginnings.

The folding sea
opened in lines of foam,
slow and predictable
with the heartbeat of earth
as the sky tinted
your soft look
and melted me.

As darkness descended
the pine grew eerie,
splayed out and molded
by invisible hands of wind.

Your arm was heavy on my shoulder
and my thumb held your belt loop
as we cross the moon strewn grass
of a golf course,
quietly sleuthing in trespass.

We had entered through
a hole in a fence,
just the right size
for romantic squeeze
to slip through, you said.

A movement on the lawn
startled our lawless amble,
angry guard dog we thought,
but as we gazed
a statue came to life,
then another caught
in graceful dance.

They were the deer at dusk
softly nibbling and giving
no attention to our surprise
for they must have thought their magic
was all that we had come for
as they posed with fawn in frolic.

No evening escapade
has ever held quite the same enchant
as that night in Monterey
with you and I
and the deer at dusk,
when the ocean swallowed the sun,
in l981,
for love was new
and nights were beginnings
and dusk was dear.

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 04-12-2000 06:34 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

HAH! You should see me in the morning!

Exquisite as always, Martie......
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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2 posted 04-12-2000 06:40 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

dear deer, I knew when I posted this that it would catch your eye...LOL...thanks for your wonderful sense of humor and your always kind comments!
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


3 posted 04-12-2000 08:18 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Martie, I rarely print out any poetry, relying on the wisdom of Ron to keep Passions operating for perpetuity.  I had to print this one out however.  You knew about the deer we have that feed at the neighbors; we also have a golf course nearby in the sandhills on which many deer roam.  (in Kansas, we say the deer and the antelope roam alot) but I digress, an exquisite poem Martie... for I see the deer on the golf course as dusk equally as well in your poem as I do in real life.
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
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since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


4 posted 04-12-2000 08:30 PM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

I've never been on a golf course, but I've been in many meadows and clearings at dusk when the deer come to feed.  Staying very still, I have watched their graceful movements; their careful alertness; their quiet beauty.
~ ~ ~
You took me to those memories so beautifully.  I loved your poem.  Personification of joy and hope, in a dusk that was dear, while the ocean swallowed the sun.  (What an exquisite way to describe it!)
~ ~ ~



[This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 04-12-2000).]
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 04-12-2000 08:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Martie! I love it!

Denise
Corinne
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


6 posted 04-12-2000 09:59 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Beautiful, Martie.  Your use of imagery and recollections/descriptions are so lovely!

Corinne
Martie
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California


7 posted 04-12-2000 11:19 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Mike, you mean mine wasn't the only magical golf course--and you get to see them all the time and I only this once. I'm so glad this one appealed to you.

Rosemary--thank you, my friend, for being so dear.

Denise--thanks for the beautiful love and happy birthday.

Corinne--Thank you--your opinion means alot to me.
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


8 posted 04-13-2000 12:08 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Martie, the way you've shared that night with these words is magic. Beautiful writing!

~ Claire
weaubleau
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since 04-06-2000
Posts 103
MO


9 posted 04-13-2000 12:12 AM       View Profile for weaubleau   Email weaubleau   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for weaubleau

amazing.

there for a minute, i thought i was in monterey with you...wonderful picture painted in my mind.

lovely poetry
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


10 posted 04-13-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Claire and weaubleau--I'm so glad that you could share the experience with me.
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


11 posted 04-13-2000 09:01 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You know how to make dusk a whole new experience, Martie..
Irish Rose
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since 04-06-2000
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12 posted 04-13-2000 09:39 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

wonderfully romantic!

 Kathleen

Danny Holloway
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since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


13 posted 04-14-2000 11:45 AM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

What a wonderful romantic story.  The kind that is never lost from memory, just one of those moments in time that never fade.
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


14 posted 04-14-2000 01:21 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Nan, Kathleen, Danny--Thank you so much for enjoying this romantic evening with me.
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