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Passions in Poetry

Trapped

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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


0 posted 04-11-2000 03:51 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Marilyn

CLICK!

Check the shutter speed.

CLICK!

Smile and pose for all to see.

CLICK!

Picture perfect family.

CLICK!

The empty chamber sounds.

CLICK!

He holds the camera as he did the gun.

CLICK!

She can never, ever leave.

CLICK!

There'd be no empty chamber.

BANG!

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 04-11-2000 04:01 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is so stark and frighteningly stong...Wow!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
2 posted 04-11-2000 04:06 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

WOW is right ! Marilyn, this is awesome!  Writing at it's best!
Bravo!  .....

 "Man is complex ....
he makes deserts bloom and lakes die."
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


3 posted 04-11-2000 05:54 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

Yikes Marilyn!
Esmeralda Ponsonby
Member
since 04-02-2000
Posts 142


4 posted 04-11-2000 06:06 PM       View Profile for Esmeralda Ponsonby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Esmeralda Ponsonby

Wow, You've left me speechless
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 04-11-2000 08:54 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Speachless here Marilyn....this one hits me hard and below the belt. Very effective writing   I'm sorry I can relate though.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


6 posted 04-11-2000 10:28 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Very striking presentation...what an impact!

~ Claire
bobbycat
Member
since 02-06-2000
Posts 235
USA


7 posted 04-11-2000 11:07 PM       View Profile for bobbycat   Email bobbycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bobbycat

So few words, but so much impact....excellent work here--you definitely got my attention with the line:

"He holds the camera as he did the gun."

Liked lots.  

Bobbycat =^..^=


 ~~Blessed Be!~~

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


8 posted 04-11-2000 11:22 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Marilyn ... bite your pencil !!!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


9 posted 04-11-2000 11:29 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Were you loaded when you wrote this???  

THIS is terrific, Marilyn. Great thoughts, few words and an extremely powerful impact. This is poetry, my girl....VERY well done.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


10 posted 04-12-2000 07:42 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I just don't have the words to express how I am feeling about all of these amazing responses to this piece. I was sitting in my livingroom listening to the ticking of my clock. The word click came into my head and this followed. I knew it was powerful but never thought it would recieve this kind of responses. Thankyou all.  
 
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