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Open Poetry #6
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Elliott
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 35
Chapel Hill, NC

0 posted 2000-04-09 06:06 PM


The hour of silence will come just after the sun has set,
As the marching men pass along in their 3-piece suits
On the way back to their humming houses.
We take the last breath of the day, then turn away,
Allowing the breeze to rest:  
I’m glad that it brought you along with your tangled locks,
Dreamy darkness.

The stately, barren trees see all-
Conquering the vastness of time,
Transcending reason and rhyme,
And sensing the endless appeal of her breath against mine.

Take your place in my arms just as Fate would have it;
Let it all rot away into the air
As Fate will have it, save you and I-
It’s all that matters to me:
A lingering whisper from the lips
of Eternity.

And you will lie down before me-
The way it should be,
And I’ll stand here beside you, forever lost in the haze
Of the barely breathing summer day.  
You will show me a sign of heaven this time:
This I know, for they have yet to meet
On the sacred ground around this old oak tree:  
Your thick red wine, and this young heart of mine.

========================
c. Aug., 1999 by DEM


[This message has been edited by Elliott (edited 04-09-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Elliott - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2000-04-09 06:16 PM


I really like this Elliot--you have a unique way of writing and using words...humming houses--oh I like that.  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-04-09 09:27 PM


We take the last breath of the day, then turn away,
Allowing the breeze to rest:  
I’m glad that it brought you along with your tangled locks,
Dreamy darkness.
-------------------
Transcending reason and rhyme,
And sensing the endless appeal of her breath against mine.
------------------
And you will lie down before me-
The way it should be,
And I’ll stand here beside you, forever lost in the haze
Of the barely breathing summer day.  
You will show me a sign of heaven this time:
This I know, for they have yet to meet
On the sacred ground around this old oak tree:  
Your thick red wine, and this young heart of mine.
----------------

*SIGH*...this is of poetic perfection...
I could inhale this poem...just did (smile)
I do like the way you write.
take care,jm

 ...every moment of every day...
your still with me in every way.
every poem and song...
every rhyme and verse...
your still here...like a beautiful curse.
janet marie


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-04-09 09:33 PM


Elliott, this is a very good poem. The thoughts are good and you use some excellent phrases strung together just right. Nice work.....
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-04-10 09:21 PM


Wonderful poem, Elliott! I enjoyed this very much!

Denise

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