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Passions in Poetry

My Velvet Rose ( Extended Metaphor ? )

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Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 04-08-2000 08:40 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos



My Velvet Rose
( For my daughter, Christina )

I remember you, a rosebud fair
With cheeks of pink and curly hair,
Skin of silken petalís touch
And fragrance that I loved so much

A little flower in Easter dress
In thralls of childhood happiness
With puckered lips and eyes aflirt
And puffy crimson velvet skirt

You blossomed quickly through the years
Of sunshine smiles and dewdrop tears
Then opened up your wondrous bloom
Whose beauty many eyes consumed

When you discovered natureís bliss
Of honey beeís exotic kiss
You left the gardenís tranquil life
And settled free as man and wife

Taffeta petals now full grown
With little rosebuds of your own
Your radiant beauty still exists
And penetrates the morning mist

How much I love you, no one knows
My crimson colored velvet rose

Elizabeth Santos

© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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1 posted 04-08-2000 08:42 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I do believe this is an extended metaphor, and a very well done one at that.

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Balladeer
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2 posted 04-08-2000 08:52 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Beautiful, Liz. The poem (as well as your daughter, I'm sure) is precious.
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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3 posted 04-08-2000 09:45 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Oh Liz, this is beautiful--she will be so pleased.
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


4 posted 04-08-2000 10:17 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Warms the cockles of my heart... beautifully written and expressed.
mariee66
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since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind


5 posted 04-08-2000 10:36 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

This is oh so sweet and beautiful~
Lovely extended metaphor~
Marie~
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 04-08-2000 11:30 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
You will always be my favorite. A beautiful poem. Love Sy
Denise
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7 posted 04-09-2000 01:00 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is exquisite, Elizabeth!! Absolutely beautiful!

Denise
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


8 posted 04-09-2000 11:20 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thank you, friends, for your remarks. This was a challenge in Nan's poetry workshop, on extended metaphors. I'm not sure this is correct
Thanks so much
Liz
LoveBug
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9 posted 04-09-2000 11:46 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Liz, this is wonderful! I don't know if it's an extended metephor, but whatever it is, it's wonderful!  

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
lucky
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since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


10 posted 04-12-2000 01:18 AM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

O liz, sigh sigh... I love my Rose too. I've written so many of these but never as good as you. This little rose needs to be seen again, our prayers to you while sigh within.

 
 
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