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~But I'm Not Bitter~ TY added :)

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Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986

0 posted 04-08-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Janet Marie

~But I'm Not Bitter~

How did we get to this place,
and why does it seem so damn easy for you.
I've spent a lifetime now on this sad highway ...
the journey leaves me weary, still not knowing where these roads lead to.

Seems like we been doing this dance forever,
our own little twisted game of musical chairs.
I'm not sure I know the words to the songs anymore ...
even worse, I'm not sure if I still care.

What do you see when you look at me...
why were you always the last one to know --
the last one to cry, or speak an apology,
but God, you were always the first one to go.

You knew I'd give you anything...
still you always led me into to the fire.
Then halfway thru, leaving me in the flame...
Why is it always about you...your need ... your desire.

Does the deceit make it all more of a thrill for you,
it must...considering all the lies you've spoken.
Then you complete your gift of misery --
tying it up with a bow, made from all the promises you've broken.

What is it that you truly want from me ...
besides a lap dance or two.
I'm tired of being your carnival ride,
I'm tired of being just something for you to do.

To this point I've always been faithful,
can we same the same of you.
For a long time now, you cant look me in the eye,
it's okay, you don't have to answer ... I already knew.

As far as my heart goes ...
you cant own it, buy it, or break it.
You've simply took your self out of it ...
and I'm no longer in the mood, or mind to fake it.

janet marie

 The stars shine so bright, now's the time
I close my eyes - soft wind touch my face,
Cool sand upon the place where I once kissed you
And held you close.
Now I will reach for the stars...
Because Oh my love, that's where you are...
Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea...
vertical horizon

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 04-09-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK

1 posted 04-08-2000 03:01 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

JM, there are some pretty intense emotions coming from this piece.  
Very expressive writing that touches some deep nerves.
Nice work. Another example of your excellent writing ability.

 A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608

2 posted 04-08-2000 03:11 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

There is alot of anger and strength in the poem--straight from the heart and I go girl!  Great poem!!
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion

3 posted 04-08-2000 03:17 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Poignantly told.  Sometimes we have to start anew to find happiness...

since 04-06-2000
Posts 103

4 posted 04-08-2000 03:27 PM       View Profile for weaubleau   Email weaubleau   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for weaubleau

i think you got your point across!
spoken with tremendous power.
a wonderful piece.
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 04-08-2000 03:33 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Very Nice Janet.  I am trying to get OUT of a situation exactly like the one of which you speak.  As you go thru all the pain and heartbreak and anger it is easy to become bitter.  When I write about my experience it helps me to understand the truth and hopefully not have any bitterness.  I believe the type of person you are speaking of is SELFISH and thinks only about themselves and certainly not about how there actions are affecting those around them that love them.   I am finished with this type of person.  James
Senior Member
since 01-20-2000
Posts 1151
New Orleans, LA

6 posted 04-08-2000 04:40 PM       View Profile for PoeticKnight   Email PoeticKnight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoeticKnight

Very intense and personal narration style. I feel as if i am a fly on the wall of an argument or something like that. I could almost see it.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 04-08-2000 04:49 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

A lot of emotion reflected in this one.
Letting go and maintaining your dignity
is tantamount in a situation like this.
Good show gal.

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002

8 posted 04-08-2000 11:43 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is very sad and very well written. I can sense your strength in this. You will be just fine. Fabulous writing, Janet Marie!

Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia

9 posted 04-09-2000 12:17 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Janet Marie~
This must have taken a lot of guts to post, It's very sad and intense and I hope you have the strength to get through this. I don't know when this happened but I sure sympathise with you.
It's everyones nightmare both male and female you never think that what you once had will ever change or come to an end.
Tracie~ HUG

 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

[This message has been edited by tracie66 (edited 04-09-2000).]
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA

10 posted 04-09-2000 12:54 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Janet. . . some stong things coming from this one. . . excellent writing. . . you'll be ok. . . and I'm sorry it's happening this way. . .


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

11 posted 04-09-2000 12:59 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Janet Marie, from what I know about you through your writings and responses...this guy is NUTS!!! No, you don't need nor deserve that. Arriving at "not in the mood to take it" is a good first step to bettering your life. I'm sad for you....and happy for you, too.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986

12 posted 04-09-2000 10:33 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

You all cant know how much you touched my heart with your replies, I am truly blessed by you all.
I was unsure to post this one, for its personal confessions and for its "bluntness". But a friend made a really good point to me...saying its helps others who are feeling the same things, to know someone else relates and understands. So I decided to go ahead...
your words of encouragment and understanding help heal me, more than any words of mine in this poem.

I thank you all from my heart.

Danny...thank you for the advice, and constant compliments.
Martie- TY for the go girl!!(smile)
Corrine- you are so right.TY
weableau-Thank you for you sweet words
SBJ...(stay stong my freind)
Jer... your eyes see it all.  
margie-girl TY you always make me smile.
Denise TY, always  
Tracie...thank you for your very kind words...I dont know about guts...with usually comes down to lack of common sense LOL
SVEN... TY...always so sweet.
Balladeer...what do I say to this from you... thank you seems inadequate.
your so cool.

I thank you all most ...
for never seeming to tire of my "emotional outbursts" put to rhyme.
I dont know how you put up with me. LOL
love ya all, jm
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC

13 posted 04-09-2000 11:41 AM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster


I am very glad you posted this! This was filled with such emotion! I can tell it came from a place deep within...from a woman who is tired of all the sh*t! You have such a gift for writing. I think you should share with us whatever mood you are in. We all surely can learn things from one another. And poetry to me is probably one of the biggest learning tools I've ever experienced. So with that said....wonderful piece of art here. I truly loved it.

Take care & Love ya,


 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
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