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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-04-07 10:12 PM


Good night sweet Prince,
As midnight falls.
Around this heart,
Within these walls.

The sleep of death,
A beckoning call.
The weary lids,
Begin to fall.

The brightest spark,
Is fading fast.
Good night sweet Prince,
Will feelings last?

And now the end,
The thoughts do cease.
The tears subside,
A sweet release.

A final kiss,
A final breath.
A final tear,
A final death.

Good night sweet Prince,
As midnight falls.
Around this heart,
Within these walls.


© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
ElektraXOXO
Junior Member
since 2000-04-07
Posts 30
San Antonio Tx
1 posted 2000-04-07 10:15 PM


Are you related to that guy who wrote Romeo & Juliet? It was a great peom.
RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
2 posted 2000-04-07 11:10 PM


wow Marilyn.....I hate to ask......
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-04-07 11:23 PM


Marilyn, does this mean that last date didn't go too well?

The poem is excellently written, by the way, almost haunting in its effect. Nice work...

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

4 posted 2000-04-08 12:07 PM


Nicely written.  Carried the mood well, enjoyed.
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
5 posted 2000-04-08 12:22 PM


Wow, Marilyn... What a great poem, so dark and sorrowful and it flows so smooth.  What a mood you evoked, greatly enjoyed.

 Abrahm Simons

"...Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose" - Trent Reznor, "We're in this Together"

One Who Understands
Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
6 posted 2000-04-08 01:22 AM


It kind of reminded me of Romeo and Juliet

Wonderful peom!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-04-08 02:58 AM


Marilyn~
When you pop in here ...
you do it in style.
This is open-hearted emotion.
I like it.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2000-04-08 03:04 AM


This one touched me deeply
It is so well written
Liz

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
9 posted 2000-04-08 05:37 AM


This is beautiful and sad and I love it.I hope the next prince evokes happier feelings in you. You deserve all the happiness...one day you'll find it.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2000-04-08 10:01 AM


Elektra....No relation to Shakespeare that I know of...lol. Thanks for the compliment though.  

Robert...Nothing much to tell my friend. Just some poetic rambling from a lonely woman.  

Mike....Date went fine. Just no sparks..you know.   Thanks for the compliment. I tried to make it quite haunting. I am glad it worked.

Tim...Thankyou. I am glad you enjoyed.  

Abe....Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed. It was supposed to be dark and sorrowful. Seems all I can write lately.

One who Understands....Such a compliment. Thankyou.  

Marge....You are such a sweet lady. Thankyou for your kind words.

Elizabeth....I am glad you enjoyed.  

ESP....Love is such a fickle thing. You make connections with people but yet it has to be just right to be real. Always enjpy the friendship even if the spark isn't there.  

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

11 posted 2000-04-08 11:36 AM


Wow, this is a beautiful poem! Great job.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-04-08 11:47 AM


This is excellent poetry, so beautifully written and full of emotion.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 2000-04-08 10:57 PM


Excellent writing, Marilyn! This did convey a haunting sadness.

Denise

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
14 posted 2000-04-09 12:17 PM


Your Prince of hearts is searching yet
he'll not give up
until you've met
~
In castle walls
deep in your heart
only time keeps true love apart
~
So
Before you close your eyes this night
leave lipstick on
with candle bright


Loved your poem
Rex}>{{{{o>

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2000-04-09 02:12 PM


The first four lines did it for me..I love this...lovely writing.   James
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
16 posted 2000-04-09 04:42 PM


Excellent work Marilyn, I love the almost chanting quality of this one. I can relate to the emotions portrayed here.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
17 posted 2000-04-09 05:55 PM


WOw...Marilyn, this is fantastic. Oh so haunting though.
WhiteNite
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241
Montgomery, AL
18 posted 2000-04-10 02:21 AM


Well... I'll have to brush up on my poetry lingo before I'll know if it's "haunting" or not, but it made the trip to teh second page of post worth while and I think I'll make that my last read for the night... thanks.

 "The storm rises up when the shadows descend
every beat of my heart every day without end
I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break
till theres no more to give if thats what it takes
I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed
I will lay down my life if thats what you need
every second I live thats the promise I make"

I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =)

weaubleau
Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101
MO
19 posted 2000-04-10 02:28 AM


very, very moving.

my heart dropped on the "a final kiss" stanza...

wonderful writing.

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
20 posted 2000-04-10 02:35 AM


Most impressive. This is filled with such passion and heartbreak. Conjures up memories I thought were gone forever. Thanks for sharing it.

Jeffrey

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
21 posted 2000-04-10 04:18 PM


LoveBug...Thanks you so much for your appreciation.  

Martie...I am humbled by your compliments.  

Denise...coming from you, those wards are a great compliment. Thankyou.  

Rex..Thankyou so much for a lovely poem in reply. Though lipstick doesn't like my pillow much. lol

James...I am so very glad you enjoyed it.  

Travis...I am glad that you could appreciate this piece. Thankyou for you comment.  

Ruth...my friend. Your words touch me and make me blush. You know I consider you an amazing poet and for you to have thought this was fantastic....I am speachless.  

WhiteNite...Thankyou so much for the compliment and for reading my piece. I have not seen you here before so I shall also say welcome to Passions.  

weaubleau....I am glad my writing could evolk such a reaction. Thankyou for reading.  

Jeffrey....I am very glad you enjoyed this piece. I am sorry that it brought back painful emotions though it did help me rid some of mine.  

Thurman
New Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 6
Detroit, Michigan USA
22 posted 2000-04-10 04:27 PM


I thought it was wonderful. i know you now in a very bittersweet way.  What a heart you posess.
Lance (Thurman)

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
23 posted 2000-04-11 01:09 AM


Rock!


Ka-blam! A home run with this Marilyn! Not only a bad-azz poem, but love the format! You go girl!

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

24 posted 2000-04-11 07:47 AM


Ohhhhhhhhhhhh....

   ~tear~

Lovely Marilyn...

K

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

25 posted 2000-04-11 07:50 AM


I was captured from the very beginning, this was so moving...

 Kathleen


Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
26 posted 2000-04-11 04:10 PM


Beautiful Marilyn ! Excellent poem.  
David2
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407

27 posted 2000-04-11 04:26 PM


Marilyn,
    I loved this! It was well written, well metered, well rhymed, and very well expresed. Thanks,
     David2

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