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Passions in Poetry

Maybe Someday

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SorrowsMystress
Member
since 04-01-2000
Posts 179
I'm a wanderer, a nomad...I do


0 posted 04-07-2000 12:33 AM       View Profile for SorrowsMystress   Email SorrowsMystress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for SorrowsMystress

****this is actually a work in progress (I've been working on it for about 4 months now) but this is what I have so far...enjoy!***


I cover up my painful cries
With broken stories and little white lies
You still love her
You show me every day
Even though she hurt you
And threw your heart away
But you could care less how bad it feels
When you go on your secret deals
Leave me alone with the voices you helped create
Voices that hurt me and cause me to hate
I want it over with the man you've become
And get back with the one that still loved me some
I don't know what I did to you
That caused you to treat me the way you do
You do everything that you always said you wouldn't
I want to leave you but somehow feel I shouldn't
Maybe I can get you back
The way you were before you cracked
I know there has to be someone else
Or I wouldn't be feeling the way that I've felt
I can't meet up to your standards any longer
You use my weakness to make yourself stronger
Each time I look at you I fall in love again
My stomach begins to hurt and my mind starts to spin
But then you open your mouth, or even worse
Look at me like I'm some kind of wretched curse
I feel like dirt most all of the time
It's only when you're drunk that everythings fine
I hate it when you lie, but you do it so well
You make me enchanted, drawn away by your spell
And I hate myself for ever falling for you
Even though there was so little I could do
You tend to break my heart almost everyday
Making it unbearable, but for some reason I stay
Me loving you so much I don't know what to do
You keeping me around cuz there's no one better to fool
I hear enough negative things about me from myself
Do you actually, honestly think that I need YOUR help?



 "It was my love that did us both to death. " -Sylvia Plath
© Copyright 2000 Kimberlee Jones - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


1 posted 04-07-2000 03:20 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

I did enjoy reading this...I never knew anyone spent four months working on a poem..I like to take an idea and then work with it for a while...fifteen minutes to maybe a couple hours and if it doesn't start to fit together I'll lay it aside and forget about it for awhile..sometimes I'll get back to it but if it doesn't start flowing I put it away again.
I have about 10 poems kindof sitting around waiting for my time to give them life. James
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


2 posted 04-07-2000 04:07 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

This may be a work in progress...but it's really good as is if you ask me! I really liked the expressions in this poem..bouncing back from a person in love to a person who knows what's "really" going on...very good job you are doing here!

Take care,
AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


3 posted 04-07-2000 04:12 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

I agree with the others. This poem seems quite complete to me but if you wanna add more, I guess that it won't hurt. Great poem!

 Nathan
Ladyhawk
Junior Member
since 04-08-2000
Posts 18
Brownsville, TN -USA-


4 posted 04-15-2000 03:05 AM       View Profile for Ladyhawk   Email Ladyhawk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladyhawk's Home Page   View IP for Ladyhawk

a poem that comes from the heart!
Ladyhawk

 THE SONG OF LADYHAWK

Hawk says diamonds danced on air
Hawk says creator above put them there
Hawk says Redtail is now my name and
from Wakiyan is where I came

From Thunderbeings, from the rock and
the tree, he gave me these wings and
then set me free

Through eyes of split gold shining so bright
And what I see now? No joy just fright
Shoot at it now, in the tree over there,
is song I hear most when not in the air

And when my heart breaks and I fly no more
I return to Creator and knock on his door
Creator says Hawk come to me fore you
were my best that's why I made you soar

You tried to show them but they couldn't see
fore they saw the diamonds instead of thee
Now you go and tell them what I said to say
their turn will come just as yours has this day

And when they come stand and look me in the eye
I will tell them the whens and the whys
that it wasn't Hawk race that I choose let die.
It was the human that I chose let go

A selfish race that could never say no
Starving and hungry they let their own grow
No Sacred heart has been brought forth to thee
I gave them everything yet they turned
from me

Diamonds, gold, others, shine so bright
but I am Creator I bring you the light
Remember just once these words you might save
Spirit not diamonds you take to your grave


Ladyhawk
Junior Member
since 04-08-2000
Posts 18
Brownsville, TN -USA-


5 posted 04-15-2000 03:05 AM       View Profile for Ladyhawk   Email Ladyhawk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladyhawk's Home Page   View IP for Ladyhawk

a poem that comes from the heart!
Ladyhawk

 THE SONG OF LADYHAWK

Hawk says diamonds danced on air
Hawk says creator above put them there
Hawk says Redtail is now my name and
from Wakiyan is where I came

From Thunderbeings, from the rock and
the tree, he gave me these wings and
then set me free

Through eyes of split gold shining so bright
And what I see now? No joy just fright
Shoot at it now, in the tree over there,
is song I hear most when not in the air

And when my heart breaks and I fly no more
I return to Creator and knock on his door
Creator says Hawk come to me fore you
were my best that's why I made you soar

You tried to show them but they couldn't see
fore they saw the diamonds instead of thee
Now you go and tell them what I said to say
their turn will come just as yours has this day

And when they come stand and look me in the eye
I will tell them the whens and the whys
that it wasn't Hawk race that I choose let die.
It was the human that I chose let go

A selfish race that could never say no
Starving and hungry they let their own grow
No Sacred heart has been brought forth to thee
I gave them everything yet they turned
from me

Diamonds, gold, others, shine so bright
but I am Creator I bring you the light
Remember just once these words you might save
Spirit not diamonds you take to your grave


Ladyhawk
Junior Member
since 04-08-2000
Posts 18
Brownsville, TN -USA-


6 posted 04-15-2000 03:08 AM       View Profile for Ladyhawk   Email Ladyhawk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladyhawk's Home Page   View IP for Ladyhawk

why it posted me twice I don't know (stupid newby that I am!)
Ladyhawk
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


7 posted 04-15-2000 03:16 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Lovely poem. I think it is finished.
4 months, this poem really must have
had a lot of inner "garbage" to get out
and told to the world.

I don't think I have ever spend more than
20 minutes a poem. hmmm, maybe this will
be a lesson to me.

Thanks for sharing. It is lovely.



 Teresa King
www.tipsfortop.com
 
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