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Passions in Poetry

without your flame

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 04-05-2000 02:36 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Oh proud straight stick of wax.
Burn for me.
Let me light you at the top,
Watch you melt teasingly and
despairingly into a slow puddle of yourself.
I want to cough on your smoke
and press your hot wax into the pads of my fingers --
So heat is transferred. So I tear.

I want to stick you on a cake and celebrate
The passing of another year. Another fallen leaf
with a stem like your wick.
When I'm sick, I want your light to color my face and hands.
Maybe someday, you'll color the face and hands of two
Glowing in the reach of your brushpaint flame.

And when the time comes,
When you burn out,
I promise to hold you
under cold
running water --
head to foot --
And listen to your sharp last hiss
With the same fervored reverence as a shared lost kiss.

Holding your gleaming wet pieces, colored remains,
I'll smile and nod at what we both once were;
Then underhand you into the trash
And pour a drink to watch the night coming in.

The house will remain dark tonight.
For you, I will reflect without a flame.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


1 posted 04-05-2000 02:43 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

You've moved me yet again with this one Mike...

Some great lines here, my favorite being...

"Glowing in the reach of your brushpaint flame."




 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 04-05-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Mike..I love the feel and the flow with this one...very nicely written  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 04-05-2000 10:49 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I want to cough on your smoke
and press your hot wax into the pads of my fingers --
So heat is transferred. So I tear.
--------------
When I'm sick, I want your light to color my face and hands.
Maybe someday, you'll color the face and hands of two
Glowing in the reach of your brushpaint flame.

And when the time comes,
When you burn out,
I promise to hold you
under cold
running water --
head to foot --
And listen to your sharp last hiss
With the same fervored reverence as a shared lost kiss.
--------------
I'll smile and nod at what we both once were;
Then underhand you into the trash
And pour a drink to watch the night coming in.

The house will remain dark tonight.
For you, I will reflect without a flame.
-------------------

Mike, this is awesome...very moving.
the candle metaphor is exquisite and perfect,as are the emotions that it represents. You really captured your hearts intent in this piece.
so sadly beautiful.
so perfect.
take care, jm

 ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces,
you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination...
then you turned and smiled in my direction...
and my heart...gave me away.
glass tiger
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


4 posted 04-05-2000 11:39 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

devina,
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed. And that line you like was the one that took me the most reworking to get right. I think it was worth it, too.  

Thanks, hoot.

jm (or "butterfly slippers"),
I know I have a fan when you essentially repeat my poem in the body of your reply.   I appreciate it.

Mike
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


5 posted 04-06-2000 12:21 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

bsq...you like that huh?  ...
i like highlighting the lines or verses that effect me the most...
yep...darn near the whole poem with this one...
tell ya what...you keep calling me butterfly slippers...
and I"ll cut and paste ya the moon (smile)
take care, jm

 The stars shine so bright, now's the time
I close my eyes - soft wind touch my face,
Cool sand upon the place where I once kissed you
And held you close.
Now I will reach for the stars...
Because Oh my love, that's where you are...
Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face
I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me
I still hear your voice on the sea...
vertical horizon

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


6 posted 04-06-2000 12:45 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

fantastic metaphor!

Corinne
 
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