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Open Poetry #6
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~False Pretense~
| Open Poetry #6 |
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~False Pretense~ |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali 
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Bend my will, break my soul- Tell me truths- remain untold- Steal my fire- drown the spark, Crumble lies upon this heart- Turn your cheek, crack a smile- Believe in love- as is denile- See me wither, feel my tears- Remember not a happy year- Catch me never, watch me fall- Bleed my mind- won’t hurt at all, Hold me shaken, nay- just stare- Bruised and broken, body bare- Pray not upon my stone of time- Cremate your promises sublime, Seek in me, all that you fear- Know my breaking point is near- Feel the cosmos drain of light- Seeing life- no longer bright, I beg you, do not hesitate- Tread upon my weakened state. Drink of tears, so newly born- A crown of pain, I shall adorn- Just for you, my faithless friend- May darkness meet you in the end. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
Drink of tears, so newly born- A crown of pain, I shall adorn- Just for you, my faithless friend- May darkness meet you in the end. ***Devina, wow. this really hits hard, a fantastic poem from you again. i'm going to do a search for more of your work right now! well done. fantastic.  I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow! Incredibly intense piece, devina. This one has some serious bite to it. That's one of the things I love about you - you always tell it exactly like it is. "catch me never" - "crown of pain"... kickin' lines girl... Michael |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Devina~ This is a wonderful portrayal of what sounds like betrayal. 'Drink of tears, so newly born-' Beautifully and powerfully drawn. Love you ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi devina, You posses much power in your soul, I admire that very much. Wonderful poem. Thank you, Cerenity |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whew...this one has some sting to it. All I can say is I'm glad I'm not on the recieving end  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Pray not upon my stone of time- Cremate your promises sublime, Seek in me, all that you fear- Know my breaking point is near- ---------------- this is excellent devina...very cool poem, very strong in character and emotions. you get em girl  take care, jm ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces, you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination... then you turned and smiled in my direction... and my heart...gave me away. glass tiger |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
mete out- thank you dearly...do a search and my life will lie before your eyes hun!!! Michael- and I love you in every way possible!!! We both know who this one was for...temper, temper!!! G*Marge- thanks love, just releasing some emotion...I'll get started on all my lovey stuff soon...promise!!!! Love you too- ~D Cerenity-1- a soul where happiness is always stung py pain somehow-especially in friendship...I thank you.... Ruth- Very few should be on the recieving end of this one..he he Janet- yep, they know who they are, don't worry!!! Thank you... Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Wonderful poetic writing. Strong feelings here for sure. Nice writing for sure. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I had the feeling babe, but believe me, no one will ever "steal your fire". Michael |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Very intense feeling in this poem. I loved the last line especially. This poem reflects the feelings of anger and the destructive nature of betrayal Well done Liz |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Love this one devina. Don't you just love ex-bashing! Marina |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
DeVina, Was jogging through the neighborhood and noticed your poem. Thought I should tell you that you have a typo on "denile". (should be denial) Or as the doctor told his patient, "De nile is a river in Egypt." Lots of emotion in this piece. (Fix that typo and send it to your ex. best regards, bboog |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Danny- thank you for sure!!! Michael- They might not steal it...just drown the friendship out!!! As for you, ya definantly light it babe!!!! Liz- Betrayal is indefinate sometimes I guess...thanks hun!!!! Marina- Never thought of it as ex-bashing...just a few horrible friends...lol...guess it could be!!! bboog- "here we go again" G* Part of poetry is feeling it sir...constructive critism is always appreciated, but poetry is very heartfelt...still I should thank you for the spellcheck..guess I forgot...??? Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Sorry devina,can't imagine where my mind is lately! Marina |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
EEEIIIIYYYYEEE!! Devina, I ALWAYS want to be on your good side  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
How I have missed your voice in the forum, Devina! Tho' I must admit, i was hoping for a more joyful tune from you these days--I'd tell ya to "e" me, but, my 'puter is down. Praying all will be well for you... |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Marina- Tis all good hun, I understand that one!!! Never apologize!!!Balladeer- You sweet man- how could you ever get on one's bad side???? serenity- dear sis...all is VERY well with me...just had some un-friendly drama to clear up...*eghem*...don't worry, love's tune still hangs deep within my heart!!! Love ya!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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