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Passions in Poetry

~False Pretense~

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devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


0 posted 04-04-2000 03:44 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for devina

Bend my will, break my soul-
Tell me truths- remain untold-
Steal my fire- drown the spark,
Crumble lies upon this heart-

Turn your cheek, crack a smile-
Believe in love- as is denile-
See me wither, feel my tears-
Remember not a happy year-

Catch me never, watch me fall-
Bleed my mind- won’t hurt at all,
Hold me shaken, nay- just stare-
Bruised and broken, body bare-

Pray not upon my stone of time-
Cremate your promises sublime,
Seek in me, all that you fear-
Know my breaking point is near-

Feel the cosmos drain of light-
Seeing life- no longer bright,
I beg you, do not hesitate-
Tread upon my weakened state.

Drink of tears, so newly born-
A crown of pain, I shall adorn-
Just for you, my faithless friend-
May darkness meet you in the end.




 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

© Copyright 2000 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


1 posted 04-04-2000 05:40 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

Drink of tears, so newly born-
A crown of pain, I shall adorn-
Just for you, my faithless friend-
May darkness meet you in the end.

***Devina,
wow.
this really hits hard, a fantastic poem from you again.
i'm going to do a search for more of your work right now!
well done.   fantastic.      


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


2 posted 04-04-2000 06:48 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Wow!  Incredibly intense piece, devina.  This one has some serious bite to it.
That's one of the things I love about you - you always tell it exactly like it is.  "catch me never" - "crown of pain"... kickin' lines girl...

Michael
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 04-04-2000 07:27 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Devina~
This is a wonderful portrayal
of what sounds like betrayal.

'Drink of tears, so newly born-'

Beautifully and powerfully drawn.
Love you
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


4 posted 04-04-2000 09:57 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi devina,

You posses much power in your soul, I admire that very much. Wonderful poem.

Thank you, Cerenity
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 04-04-2000 10:10 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Whew...this one has some sting to it. All I can say is I'm glad I'm not on the recieving end  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


6 posted 04-04-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Pray not upon my stone of time-
Cremate your promises sublime,
Seek in me, all that you fear-
Know my breaking point is near-

----------------
this is excellent devina...very cool poem, very strong in character and emotions.
you get em girl  
take care, jm

 ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces,
you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination...
then you turned and smiled in my direction...
and my heart...gave me away.
glass tiger
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


7 posted 04-04-2000 02:03 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

mete out- thank you dearly...do a search and my life will lie before your eyes hun!!!

Michael- and I love you in every way possible!!! We both know who this one was for...temper, temper!!! G*

Marge- thanks love, just releasing some emotion...I'll get started on all my lovey stuff soon...promise!!!!
Love you too-
~D

Cerenity-1- a soul where happiness is always stung py pain somehow-especially in friendship...I thank you....

Ruth- Very few should be on the recieving end of this one..he he

Janet- yep, they know who they are, don't worry!!!  Thank you...


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


8 posted 04-04-2000 02:06 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Wonderful poetic writing.  Strong feelings here for sure.
Nice writing for sure.
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


9 posted 04-04-2000 04:31 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

I had the feeling babe, but believe me, no one will ever "steal your fire".  


Michael
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


10 posted 04-04-2000 05:32 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Very intense feeling in this poem. I loved the last line especially. This poem reflects the feelings of anger and the destructive nature of betrayal
Well done
Liz
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


11 posted 04-04-2000 06:32 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

Love this one devina.  Don't you just love ex-bashing!

Marina
bboog
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


12 posted 04-04-2000 07:09 PM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

DeVina,
  Was jogging through the neighborhood and noticed your poem. Thought I should tell you that you have a typo on "denile". (should be denial) Or as the doctor told his patient,
  "De nile is a river in Egypt."
Lots of emotion in this piece. (Fix that typo and send it to your ex.
best regards,
bboog
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


13 posted 04-04-2000 09:38 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Danny- thank you for sure!!!

Michael- They might not steal it...just drown the friendship out!!! As for you, ya definantly light it babe!!!!  

Liz- Betrayal is indefinate sometimes I guess...thanks hun!!!!

Marina- Never thought of it as ex-bashing...just a few horrible friends...lol...guess it could be!!!

bboog- "here we go again" G* Part of poetry is feeling it sir...constructive critism is always appreciated, but poetry is very heartfelt...still I should thank you for the spellcheck..guess I forgot...???


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


14 posted 04-04-2000 10:33 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

Sorry devina,can't imagine where my mind is lately!

Marina
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 04-04-2000 11:52 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

EEEIIIIYYYYEEE!! Devina, I ALWAYS want to be on your good side  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


16 posted 04-05-2000 01:18 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

How I have missed your voice in the forum, Devina!   Tho' I must admit, i was hoping for a more joyful tune from you these days--I'd tell ya to "e" me, but, my 'puter is down.   Praying all will be well for you...
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


17 posted 04-05-2000 02:34 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Marina- Tis all good hun, I understand that one!!! Never apologize!!!

Balladeer- You sweet man- how could you ever get on one's bad side????

serenity- dear sis...all is VERY well with me...just had some un-friendly drama to clear up...*eghem*...don't worry, love's tune still hangs deep within my heart!!! Love ya!!!


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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