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Open Poetry #6
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Meadowmuse
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since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263


0 posted 2000-04-02 09:41 PM



Disappear



I light the candles
all through the house
Quieter times have brought
you into my heart again

Flames licking near me
can't bear to watch anymore
Why couldn't you have saved me
from what I'm still running toward?

Just when I thought time was moving
And just when I thought I could hold it all
Just now, now I thought I could breathe again
Your flames are telling me what it is I'm losing

Couldn't we have tried a another song?
something just low and sweet between us
like your slow seduction I thought would never end
How can these candles burn so long?

How could it hurt so to cry you back with my tears?
It's been a while since I spoke your name aloud
What could it hurt just this time, to say I love you?
How can I watch another flame disappear?


Dear LadyClaire



© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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Minnesota
1 posted 2000-04-02 10:02 PM


A very pain-filled poem--I liked the candle imagery used here.

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible


Denise
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Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-04-02 10:10 PM


This is so sad and so beautiful, Claire. Very beautiful!

Denise

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-04-02 10:19 PM


Oh, Claire~
This is so sadly filled with loss
and longing.
Beautiful look into a saddened heart.
Very touching, Claire.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2000-04-02 10:23 PM


Oh, those wicked wicks!
There's something about a candle's glow that's so warm or sad.
Beautiful verse

Liz

Rex Allen McCoy
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since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
5 posted 2000-04-02 10:56 PM


Keep this up and you'll have us all crying

Rex}>{{{{o>

Meadowmuse
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since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

6 posted 2000-04-02 11:17 PM


Thank you all, in earnest, for reading. Not feeling very poetic tonight, I'm afraid.

~ Claire

Butterflies_dont_cry
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since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-04-03 12:02 PM



Clair*
This is done with style and beauty that your heart reflects off from your soul.  Every line was breathtaking.


 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.


CherylLynnMckee
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since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

8 posted 2000-04-03 12:17 PM


Sad but beautiful...wonderful writing.

 

Alwye
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since 1999-06-16
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In the space between moments
9 posted 2000-04-03 01:09 AM


Deeply sad and painful, but also lovely Claire.  Like always.  

 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2000-04-03 02:05 AM


I've done this a few times myself..ha..ha..
or was it a few hundred times...whatever the relationship..when it is over it seems to leave some hurt in our memory that reappears now and than.  James

Parker
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since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
11 posted 2000-04-03 02:45 AM


Claire, Your poetry is poetic in any state, it flows naturally with your emotions, very lovely.

Parker

Auguste
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By the sea
12 posted 2000-04-05 12:16 PM


Very sad and moving.  Touching work!

 



hoot_owl_rn
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since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2000-04-05 10:30 AM


This reeps of sadness  
Michael
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since 1999-08-13
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California
14 posted 2000-04-05 12:19 PM


maybe those are trick candles or something... you know - the ones that never go out.    I've come across those a few times myself.  Great poem, Claire, if sad. Hope you didn't mind me trying to get a smile out of you.


Michael

hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA
15 posted 2000-04-05 01:11 PM


"Couldn't we have tried a another song?
something just low and sweet between us
like your slow seduction I thought would never end
How can these candles burn so long?"

I could really relate to this poem, especially these lines.  Very touching, and beautifully put!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm

suthern
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Louisiana
16 posted 2000-04-05 04:41 PM


The pain in this is palpable... great poem!
Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
17 posted 2000-04-05 10:58 PM


Claire,
       let the song fill your heart my friend. . . and hear the music. . . dance to its soft melody. . .

Let the candles light the way to show you what you need to see. . .

Very touching my friend. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2000-04-05 11:05 PM


Meadow,
Your sentiment of lament is lovely. Beautiful poem. *L*

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2000-04-06 12:50 PM


Claire, I am drawn to your poetry, for it is like a candle and I, the moth.  This poem touched me.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

20 posted 2000-04-07 09:22 PM






Butterflies...CherylLynn...Krista...James...Parker

Michael(Auguste)...Michael...Ruth...Troy

Suthern...Sven...Seymour...Martie

Thank you ALL

Your words are of the candle's light,
illuminating my heart tonight.



Dear LadyClaire




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