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Passions in Poetry

~Born Depressed~

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Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


0 posted 04-02-2000 10:46 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Janet Marie

~Born Depressed~

Mom always said it was a problem,
dad always said it was a curse.
I always knew they didn't understand,
but then I always knew it could be worse.
Sis seemed rather uneasy,
friends never knew what to say.
It never really mattered to me,
I always managed to find my way.
Teacher and counselors wanted to change me,
doctors offered up pills that cure.
The shrinks always had the answers...
it was my questions of which they were unsure.
Content to suffer in silence,
blocking out the past, so as not to dwell.
Writing poetry, listening to music,
distracted in my denial, a game I play well.
Its not a matter of right or wrong,
its just a matter of its always been this way
Besides, when nobody hears you crying...
then what's the point of your tears anyway.
It gotten to the point I don't notice anymore,
its nothing I can fix or change.
There are lots of other people like me,
still many think its just all too strange.
My honest opinion is they need to just let it go,
and if they cant, then they need to look the other way.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful ...
it's just that I don't know what they expect me to say.


Janet Marie


**inspired by a long conversation with my sis, about our childhood.I wrote it from the perspective of as if I was back in time, as teen.
I am fine, I promise  
jm


 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20
© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...


1 posted 04-02-2000 11:03 AM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

JM...this one has really struck me, your thoughts here are so very familiar to me. The words are almost as if spoken from someone that I know. I am glad that you are ok, the person I know still struggles...
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


2 posted 04-02-2000 12:39 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Even while written in retrospect, this piece is still powerful. Many of my friends have suffered bouts of depression, so I could relate to this. Glad you're okay!

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


3 posted 04-02-2000 12:43 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Wow, this was a great poem! I can relate to this situation personally. Good job!

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 04-02-2000 03:54 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very powerful piece of writing, Janet Marie. I'm glad you are fine!  

Denise
Aimster
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since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


5 posted 04-02-2000 04:04 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

-Janet

WOW, this really struck a chord with me, i use to be this same way just a few short years ago. you have an amazing gift that continues to shine through with your work! i know i seem like the happy-go-lucky kinda person, but it wasn't always like this. through my faith in the Lord and Jesus Christ and my fight to survive, I became stronger. I am glad to know you're "fine" but I also know a part of our childhood always stays with us. much love to ya. take care

amy

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


6 posted 04-02-2000 04:07 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

This one spoke to my heart..as I have battled depression before...And I agree a very powerful poem here.

 
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


7 posted 04-02-2000 04:09 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

This poem is very sad and I can relate to what you're saying because i"ve been depressed before too. Thank you for sharing this soulful piece.

 Nathan
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


8 posted 04-02-2000 04:26 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Janet Marie~
Though I don't know the feelings of depression from an intimate experience ...
I have two friends who do.

I like to think that their 'shells' are
what protects them from whatever they
need protecting from.

They teasingly call me the 'clam popper'
cause I'm always opening them up to
catch a look at the pearls they keep inside.
They are both amazingly talented and
I love them dearly.

One of my 'Clam' friends wrote this for me.

'That clam popper won't let us be
and just throw us back into the sea.
She says she ain't through with us yet
and we are tangled in her net.
A pearl is what she thinks she'll find
embedded deep down in my mind.
Well clam popper try again
this little pearl ain't no gem.'


Now, how could you NOT love a jewel
like that?  
Janet, thank you for reminding me
just how precious my friends are.
~*Marge*~





 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Butterflies_dont_cry
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since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


9 posted 04-02-2000 06:57 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry



J.M.
You are better than "fine" you are the best!!
Your words are very Powerful!  

"Besides, when nobody hears you crying...
then what's the point of your tears anyway"

There have been alot of people in my life that have offered their "two cents" as I struggled with counseling and to those who haven't been through it some have said "just forget it and it will go away"....boy wish I had thought of that....    

Angel wing hugs to my most precious friend and sister of my soul** Beautifully done again!!


 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


10 posted 04-02-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

This struck a deep chord for me.  I have suffered greatly from depression, but my mother far more so.  I might post a piece I wrote for her some day, called "Sad from the Womb".  Her first picture was at two years old, hanging her head, looking very sad.  In all my childhood pictures, she struggles to smile, but never makes it.

During her life she has suffered several nervous breakdowns, and her depression was a force so powerful, it affected me all my life.  Thanks be to God, she has been able to recover quite well, now that she's nearly eighty, and after eleven years of therapy some thirty years ago got her on the road to recovery.

I too, am glad to hear you say you are fine!!



 ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG




[This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 04-02-2000).]
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


11 posted 04-02-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Not an easy subject. You've written about this quite well. Thank you for sharing this with us.

dp
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


12 posted 04-03-2000 09:23 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

thank you to ALL who replied to this, I am very moved by how you related to these words.
I am sorry and saddened by how many others live with the shadow of depression.I know it is a lifelong and daily battle for many.Hopefuly it is made easier by knowing there are others who understand.
It has been my writing that has helped me the most thru the years.I know it is the same for all of us.
Thank you for your concern, and words of unerstanding and encouragment.
as one, we stand alone...with each other...we are a force of nature.
take care,
with much respect, janet marie


thank you,truly...
eagle one
Elizabeth
lovebug
Denise
Amy-girl
Cheryl
Nate dog
Margie-girl
Butterfly (S.S.)
Rosemary
dorreen


 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


13 posted 04-03-2000 10:07 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***jm,
phew.
this rings true to me.
you hit me hard with this amazing piece.
wow.
perfect.


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


TerryW
Senior Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 787
Louisville, Mississippi, USA


14 posted 04-03-2000 11:27 AM       View Profile for TerryW   Email TerryW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TerryW's Home Page   View IP for TerryW

Janet,
    Lovely and powerful piece of writing.  It was magnificent.  I, too, know the truth in these words:

Besides, when nobody hears you crying...
then what's the point of your tears anyway.

But I learned there are those who can hear it, and offer you solace.  I am glad you are ok.  But if you ever do need to talk about anything at anytime, you are more than welcome to talk to me, my friend!      

Love,
     Terry

 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


15 posted 04-03-2000 12:18 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

This is a very powerfully written piece, and appeals to all because it comes from the heart and from a wonderful poetic talent.
Excellent work, Janet Marie
Liz
Miss.Queeny
Junior Member
since 02-26-2000
Posts 22


16 posted 04-03-2000 04:07 PM       View Profile for Miss.Queeny   Email Miss.Queeny   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miss.Queeny

Janet.M

This is lovely, well done and I hope you never feel like that again xxx
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 01-31-2000
Posts 640
The Horsehead Nebula


17 posted 04-03-2000 06:49 PM       View Profile for Dawn Eclipse   Email Dawn Eclipse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dawn Eclipse

This was a very deep piece.  It hit me very hard.  I know the feelings quite well, and know a few others like it.  The emotion was wonderful, and I'm glad you're not feeling like that still.

 Sometimes the most important things can't be seen with the eyes, but are rather felt with the heart.
*Cassie Roseen*


Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


18 posted 04-03-2000 06:54 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Maybe the best way to travel back in time is through poetic expression.
This poem was thought provoking and sad.
Nice work.  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


19 posted 04-03-2000 09:36 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

this is sad  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


20 posted 04-03-2000 11:34 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Janet this is sad. I struggle with it myself from time to time. Glad you're all right now    God bless ya
Alwye
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since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


21 posted 04-03-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Extremely powerful, Janet.  I also am someone who has suffered from depression.  It can be nearly impossible to overcome at times.  This is extremely well done, you definitely made my heart ache.  

 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


22 posted 04-04-2000 12:25 AM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Wonderful work Janet Marie!!    I felt this way in the hazy past myself.  I am glad it is only a possible perspective and not how you are feeling now.
Great portrayl of the misunderstood  

 There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


23 posted 04-04-2000 12:37 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

You've stunned me, Janet Marie!
I am beginning to believe that we were separated at birth!  (And I'm fine, too, but
let's not take an opinion poll!  lol)

Beautiful, moving piece here, m'twin!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


24 posted 04-04-2000 02:24 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Thanks again to all who read and offered such sweet and caring replies. I am taken back by how many relate to this poems subject.
I truly wish we all didnt relate to it so well.
thank you for letting me know my words touch you..as your do mine...

thanks

meteout,
Terry
Liz
Miss Queeny
Dawn Eclipse
Danny
hoot-girl
Dovey
Alwye
Isis
serenity-girl...twins...now thats a scary thought for our mothers..(smile)she didnt know what to do with 1 of me on a good day  LOL  

 ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces,
you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination...
then you turned and smiled in my direction...
and my heart...gave me away.
glass tiger
 
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