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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-04-02 12:22 PM


This is a poem I wrote after reading an incredible short story that hit a little too close to home. The story is called Full Circle and was written by Scott a.k.a. Wordsmith. The story can be found here: http://www.artistic-expressions.com/bbs/messages/11096.html  I urge everyone to read this story, it has a powerful and important message.


My knees feel week and my fingers tremble
I just read a story of a boy I resemble
One who had lost all hope for the future
A beaten, lonely, pathetic creature

He lived his life for the failure it brought
Only feeling alive with the pain he sought
Then one day, while at a bench in the park
A little girls question pierced through the dark

"How much loss does it take to break a soul?"
A simple question eats in him a gaping hole
The girl is gone, but the question remains
Pounding into him like runaway trains

Silently, while drinking some cheap booze
He fights with himself, over that question he stews
Was he indeed, as the question said, broken?
Why was he disturbed with the words she had spoken?

He reflects on his life, sees that all ended in loss
In all he had done, only he suffered the costs
Each failure had ended with two things only
His intelligence and his twisted body

In grade school he learned how to hate
He was not athletic and a bit overweight
In sports he was often pushed to the other team
But, the laughter of girls was the pain supreme

In class he was silent and rather withdrawn
His peers saw him as nothing but a pawn
He was used for the answers they wanted
But still he was relentlessly taunted

No matter how he tried, still he was cast out
His mother said because of jealousy, no doubt
They envied his intelligence, and knew no other way
His size intimidated them into pushing him away

After pondering his thoughts for a very long time
He got a notebook to put his feelings to rhyme
In his writing he found a wonderful release
A way to make his torture finally cease

In this story I saw my own heartache and pain
Saw how I let my own life go swirling down that drain




[This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 04-02-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2000-04-02 04:21 AM


Mistikman, I have read this story and like you, it touched me deeply.
This was so beautiful of you to have written this. Well Done!!


 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 2000-04-02 08:34 AM


I have had the opportunity to read the incredible piece of work about which you speak. As always, Scott's talent for prose and vivd imagery shines through in this, his latest story.
Your poem does him honor  

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2000-04-02 08:45 AM


I have read Scott's story and your wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing both.
Liz

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-04-02 10:43 AM


mistik,
this is excellent,you have written into your poem the things the story evoked in you and the things in your life, that you saw in the boy in the story, and made it your own.
very well written. strong in your emotions.
the ending lines, while being very sad...were perfection.
touching work here.
take care jm

 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

5 posted 2000-04-02 12:54 PM


Mistikman, I so admire your poetic self~examination. It comes through in all your work, I believe. I read the story you referred us to, and was very moved by it. That it touched you in this way is what I marvel at, though, because I see the inspiration for you and your reaction to it. What a wonderful thing for you to have shared with us, this progression. Love your poem! Thank you, in earnest, for a deeper look.

~ Claire

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

6 posted 2000-04-02 01:01 PM


Mistikman,
I read the story and your poem, and I loved them both. They were both very powerful and touched me very deeply.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-04-02 03:07 PM


Excellent poem, Mistikman! Thanks for sharing it and the story by Scott!

Denise

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
8 posted 2000-04-02 03:45 PM


Mistikman, I am very sorry to hear of your painful childhood.  Your poem is bittersweet and so very well expressed.  Thank you for sharing your poem and telling us about Scott's story.

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee  

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
9 posted 2000-04-02 10:16 PM


Thenk you all, but the real thanks need to be to Scott rather than me, for he wrote the wonderful story with which I based this mediocre poem on.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-04-03 12:23 PM


Mistik~
I read the story Scott wrote and was
very touched and moved by it.
You are right ... it is powerful
and very important.

I then re-read your poem relating
to the story ... it is very powerful
and very important.

I pray that you continue your writing
and reaching out to others.
It has to hurt to be the brunt of others
cruel humor and ill-manners.  It has to hurt
to not be recognized for what is inside
your heart and your head.
These years are so important in forming
who you will become ... rise above the
pettiness of others and reach out to someone
who needs you for your goodness.

There are many hands of friendship
extended to you in this family of poets.
Give yourself a chance to realize all
you can be.

I think you've taken a giant step toward
knowing that you are capable of more through
your writing.  Challenge yourself even
further.  WRITE - WRITE - WRITE !

I believe in you.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

11 posted 2000-04-03 12:55 PM


Incredible story Incredible poem thanks for sharing both.

 

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