How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #6 Archive
 Bob's Big Boy
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Bob's Big Boy (move it if it offends!)

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


0 posted 04-01-2000 11:39 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Poet deVine

This is a repost...and is absolutely a true story! It has been incorporated into a lecture given by Anthony Marshall, writer for the "Hotel/Motel Magazine".  The name of the perpetrator has not been changed! If anyone finds it offensive, please let me or another moderator know and someone will whisk it off to another forum! I hope you see the humor in it! (note: there was a burger chain called Bob's Big Boy - don't get confused, I'm not slamming them!   )


Bob's Big Boy

Early one morn in a hotel pool,
came a cry in the dark, "my tool....my tool!"
So the clerk used his head, and called 911
explaining, he said, "this job won't be fun!
But please come quick and bring some gel,
this guy is stuck and he's beginning to swell."
So the medics were sent as to a battle front,
but came face to face with Mister Chevront.
That's right, poor Bob, (no pun intended),
stood near the pipe - his winkie extended.
And hoping to get, for free don't you know,
that special feeling, that special glow.
And the pipe that sucked the scum and goo
fell in love with Bob and his winkie, too.
Then soon, when Bob was ready to leave,
he tugged his winkie from the sucking sleeve.
But lo and behold, the tube held tight
and wouldn't give up without a fight.
This is the sight the medics found,
poor Bob and his winkie (beginning to drown).
So the captain of the medic crew
stepped up and said " I know what to do!"
He turned off the pipe and grabbed onto Bob
and pulled as though he liked this job.
But Bob was stuck and swelling too,
his winkie now was turning blue.
They tried the gel, but it didn't work!
After an hour, it come out with a jerk.
They threw Bob and his winkie onto a gurney
and drove off upon an emergency journey.
So ends the saga of the pipe, so cruel!
Which can be called - The Fool and His tool!



© Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 04-01-2000 11:48 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LOL Sharon!!  The poor soul, or should I say his winkie...  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 04-01-2000 11:50 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

POET D...you are too much...
this is so funny, and I heard this story on the news. Poor old Bob earned his 15 mins of fame the hard way...PUN INTENDED LOL
great job...way cool they use it as part of their lecture...
take care, jm

 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


3 posted 04-01-2000 12:08 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

ROFLMAO...I remember when this happened..this is to funny..thanks poet It's always nice to start your morning out with a good laugh!!!!

 
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


4 posted 04-01-2000 12:15 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

LOL--the poor guy! Ouch! Janet--very funny pun there...

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


5 posted 04-01-2000 12:16 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

heh, that sounds really painful   Great poem PdV, and poor Bob...  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


6 posted 04-01-2000 12:31 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

OWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


7 posted 04-01-2000 12:39 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

LOL, I thought it sounded familar too, I don't think it was from the news though I think I received an E-mail about it, no matter how you retold it was with class and much humor, thanks for the smile  
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


8 posted 04-01-2000 12:41 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Sooooooooo Funny!
Caught in a zipper is bad enough, but in a pipe....well....so tacky, if not SICK!
Takes all kinds, so they say!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


9 posted 04-01-2000 12:41 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Thank you all! Yes..this poor guy! And he wasn't a guest in the hotel, he lived in that town! Imagine having to live that down (no pun intended).

And LR, I'm sure you'd only feel a 'small' pinch! LOL
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


10 posted 04-01-2000 12:56 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

I read an article from a medical journal about something that happened in Tennessee to a guy who cam in to a doctors office with an obvious injury to his "big boy" but the doctor had to, um...

Well to make a long story short -- this guy had actually dismembered his member while trying to engage in an unusual act of self gratification and was so embarrased he STAPLED it back on himself with an office stapler... three days later after it was obviously not healing he went to the doctor...

I still cringe at the thought....


And hey!!! What's that PDV???? HEY!!!  
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


11 posted 04-01-2000 02:23 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Oh, ouch...poor guy and great poem...needed the smile.
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


12 posted 04-01-2000 04:15 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Listen to this one, which is also absolutely true, I swear it: There was a woman who loved marshmallows, and one night she decided to drive her boyfriend wild by melting some, then putting them on his member and licking them off. She carried out the plan, but didn't let the marshmallows cool down and burned him! He broke up with her before it healed. Ouch!  

Ha ha,
Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 04-01-2000 04:22 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

At our local ER, it was a vacuum cleaner hose that did it. I have never had an affectionate vacuum cleaner.
Incidentally, this poem was a riot (not the incident)
Liz

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 04-01-2000).]
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


14 posted 04-01-2000 04:58 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

LOL Sharon, This was great!!!! That poor guys winkie hehehe  ooops  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


15 posted 04-01-2000 05:11 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was SOOOO funny! LMAO!  

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


16 posted 04-01-2000 07:15 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

So finally I get to read it! This is hillarious, Sharon!  

Denise
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


17 posted 04-01-2000 07:42 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I think the guy got a bum rap. I mean, the thing was so provocative! The filtering system was on and all the hair in the pool was being suctioned toward that opening and it got so clogged that the hair was being plastered around the edges of the hole and, gee, it looked so inviting and what's a guy supposed to do????????
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


18 posted 04-01-2000 08:09 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

hehe.... I don't recal the media coverage - I know the story only through your eyes, PdV... I don't think it could be done better anyway..  
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


19 posted 04-01-2000 10:29 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Poet deVine....What can I say except ROFLMAO!!!!!!     

 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


20 posted 04-01-2000 10:32 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

ROFL!  Methinks I enjoyed this entirely too much!  Thank you, PdV!
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA


21 posted 04-01-2000 10:41 PM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee

Omigod, LMAO!  Poet Devine you are just so creative and have such a way with words, only you could have the humour and wit to write such a poem.  I remember this event too.

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee  
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...


22 posted 04-01-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

ROTFL..Now that's gotta hurt...lol
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


23 posted 04-01-2000 10:51 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

there should have been a warning sign
only use Pool Tools near drains

Rex}>{{{{o>
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #6 >> Bob's Big Boy Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors