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Open Poetry #6
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INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

0 posted 2000-04-01 07:23 AM


lonely road before
lonelier road behind me
alone with my thoughts
great crowds press in upon me
no acknowledgment

© Copyright 2000 KKunnen - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 2000-04-01 10:33 AM


I can't believe no one's replied to this...I think it's great  
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
2 posted 2000-04-01 02:05 PM


Thank you, Ruth.  This one must not appeal to very many people.  I knew I could count on you!

INclan

CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

3 posted 2000-04-01 02:09 PM


small poem...big meaning and once again I agree with hoot_owl_m there should be more replys...great poem!

 

TravisK
New Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 8
England
4 posted 2000-04-01 02:14 PM


I can relate to this.Like it.

Take Care,
Travis Kennedy

Joannak
Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 121
Indiana, USA
5 posted 2000-04-01 08:28 PM


Oh, INclan, you make me feel your loneliness...

You must know, you inspire me with your wonderful thoughts and haiku.  As for acknowledgement, you only need wait a short while...

Thank you,
Joanna

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-04-01 08:41 PM


This is great INclan! So descriptive!

Denise

bboog
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303
Valencia, California
7 posted 2000-04-01 09:06 PM


In~
I liked the thought behind this one. Maybe "solitary road behind me" instead of "lonlier"?
and "acknowledgement-none"
Just a thought, you're the boss!
bboog

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
8 posted 2000-04-02 08:36 AM


Thank you all for your kind responses.

Thank you, Cheryl for the compliment. I try.

Thank you, Travis. There do seem to be lonely times...even in a crowd. This was written during my 1.5 hour commute home after a LONG week.

Joanna,

your work inspires me. Thank you for reading me.

Thank you, dsnyder. I know you read a lot so your compliment means a lot.

Thank you, bboog.  I am flattered that you took the time to think and analyze. I take it as a compliment.

INclan

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2000-04-02 08:44 AM


I love this.
I love its simplicity and stark imagery.

Well done!

K

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

10 posted 2000-04-02 11:32 AM


You've illustrated, so well, how one can feel their alone~ness even in the largest crowd. Wonderful writing!

~ Claire  

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-04-02 11:52 AM


A long road in few words. very meaningful
I like it
Liz



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2000-04-02 12:14 PM


INclan~
This is just perfect.
These Tanka's and Haiku's
are so fascinating to read and
to do.
Thank you for sharing this.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
13 posted 2000-04-02 10:50 PM


Thank you, Severn, Meadowmuse, Marge, and Liz, you are all most kind. I strive to achieve the standards set by your work.

INclan

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