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Passions in Poetry

flow damage

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 04-01-2000 02:02 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

I am not a faucet.
I was never a faucet attached to the sink
You washed your hands in.
I never collected your hair and spit and toothpaste droppings.
Copper water never ran through my pipes --
I never found a porcelain basin I liked.

When I was a boy, I cried whenever I felt moved.
Dog died on tv. Christ died on lp. Boy bit off thumb of sister
in our backyard, blood playpals playthings on the swing the seesaw --
How raw.

Now, older, I cannot will the tears. Even when I pray
to the same Christdead god for release. My dog long
since deceased. I don't know what happened to the boy and his sis.
Those times are definitely not missed.

Flow damage -- eyes can tear but sobs won't come.
Can lie on bed for hours, back against covers,
And still won't come. Something somewhere somehow gone.

I never found a fairy tale princess except one made of porcelain.
She broke when I leaned into her too hard.
Little dust and pieces to collect and toss.
I am not your sink -- I do not want to be touched by your floss,
Your long snakelike strings of things -- sins and whims and disease.

Now shut me off for the night.
Drip, drip.
Please.



[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 04-02-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


1 posted 04-01-2000 03:51 AM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

This is a very sad descriptive poem. I wish I could turn you off if that is what you need.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 04-01-2000 07:07 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

When I was a boy, I cried whenever I felt moved.
Dog died on tv. Christ died on lp. Boy bit off thumb of sister
in our backyard, blood playpals playthings on the swing the seesaw --
How raw.

Now, older, I cannot will the tears. Even when I pray
to the same Christdead god for release. My dog long
since deceased. I don't know what happened to the boy and his sis.
Those times are definitely not missed.

Flow damage -- eyes can tear but sobs won't come.
Can lie on bed for hours, back against covers,
And still won't come. Something somewhere somehow gone.

-----------------------

this is raw and very deep, and very cool...also very personal. the metaphors are perfect,while being most unique...a word that seems to come to mind often when reading your work...(definatly meant as a compliment)this is very well written, and emotionaly strong...they (the emotions)effect this reader much.
very good work.
jm

 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


3 posted 04-01-2000 07:29 AM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Well done, bsquirrel.  I can really feel the intense emotions behind this piece.

INclan
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 04-01-2000 10:32 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

WOW...the feelings in this one are portrayed so vividly  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 04-01-2000 10:22 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Okay, no B.S. tonight--simple excellence.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


6 posted 04-01-2000 10:25 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

I have to agree with Serenity, Mike...excellence here. Thank you for pouring this one out. Your writing always moves me.

~ Claire
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


7 posted 04-02-2000 07:14 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

ESP,
I'm fine, but thanks anyway. Appreciated.

JM,
Thanks. It's again me trying to throw some universality into old, broken images.

INclan,
Thanks.

hoot,
Also thanks.

serenity,
Wow, it took until now for someone to pun my screen name. I'm ashamed!  

Claire,
As does yours. Of course free time isn't much an option these days, so right now, I'm more posting and replying than taking the time to read others work, too. Hopefully, that'll change.

Mike
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


8 posted 04-02-2000 07:26 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


Magnificent!! The images you create with your writing is an amazing gift, it flowed well and left a haunting feeling at the end. Bravo!!!


 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


9 posted 04-03-2000 12:02 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, b.
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


10 posted 04-03-2000 12:36 AM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

I agree with the others..this is excellent...and your talents run deep. A big WOW here!!!

 
 
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