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Passions in Poetry

I can't change this

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jbowie
Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 137
BANGOR (that OR) ME


0 posted 03-31-2000 11:22 PM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for jbowie


I twirled her soft red hair
with the ends of my fingers
while she bent with her head down
looking away with deep red eyes
crocodile tears streaming
And I couldn't tell her a thing
not what she wanted to hear
she believed what she felt
that I should have felt the same
but her emotions would soon distort
anger replacing what was
hating me for just one fault
I did not love her
© Copyright 2000 James Bowie - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 03-31-2000 11:26 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Well done, James. Great writing.

Denise
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 03-31-2000 11:30 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

And I couldn't tell her a thing
not what she wanted to hear
she believed what she felt
that I should have felt the same
-----------------
hating me for just one fault
I did not love her
----------------

jb, this is a awesome as the last one...
(which I just read again and printed out)
your poems have this unique, quiet, quality about them, like the calm before the storm...you write very effectively of emotion and you do it in a few powerful lines.its quite a gift.
take care, jm

 she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough,
and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in.
...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me...
and I feel like somethings gonna give...
and I'm a little bit angry.
matchbox20
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


3 posted 03-31-2000 11:41 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

~james

u sure do have the knack for delivering a powerful message in a few words! this my friend was in short, awesome... can totally relate to it as well. very good!!

AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 04-01-2000 12:08 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

The detail in the first five lines makes this poem breathe of honesty. The rest is wonderfully reflective and carries out the story very effectively. Good writing, to my way of thinking.

~ Claire
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 04-01-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Such is the imbalance in life... Well said, jb..
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


6 posted 04-01-2000 10:52 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

JBowie~
So softly reflecting
the tenderness of a moment.
Very pleasurable to read.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


7 posted 04-01-2000 01:36 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is sweetly true in feeling and very well done.
 
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