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Passions in Poetry

The Past

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Dolphins3
Member
since 09-30-1999
Posts 142
Wisconsin


0 posted 03-31-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for Dolphins3   Email Dolphins3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Dolphins3


To bring a smile back upon your face
I wish I could
Erase the past without a trace

Yet with all my might
And many sleepless nights
It still remains

Daunting and pounding
Through the remains of my head
Forever holding on
Making me wish I was dead

Looking at me
Through your eyes
I wonder how you can't despise

Love,Trust
Saying you do
I don't know how you do
After everything I've put you through

Yet the rings remain
Even if I have changed

Loving me then
Loving me now
Please show me how to love again

*Not sure if I like this but thought I would post it and see what you guys think. I think I got rusty with being gone so long.
It's nice to see and to read all the new poetry.
© Copyright 2000 Cheryl Beth - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 03-31-2000 05:24 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Nice to have you back, Dolphins. I cannot offer any critique, except to say that if you change anything you will only improve it. The emotion is well expressed--I can feel the longing to go back to the way things were. Wonderful work.

Elizabeth


 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


2 posted 04-01-2000 07:31 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi Dolphins,

Welcome back, I really liked this poem I don't think you lost anything and I look forward to more of your work.

Cerenity
Dolphins3
Member
since 09-30-1999
Posts 142
Wisconsin


3 posted 04-02-2000 04:13 PM       View Profile for Dolphins3   Email Dolphins3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dolphins3

Thanks Elizabeth & Cerenity 1 for the words of encouragement. I'm so glad to be back on. I look forward to reading your work too.  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 04-02-2000 04:18 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Welcome back Dolphins! This is a great poem. I wouldn't change a thing!

Denise
Dolphins3
Member
since 09-30-1999
Posts 142
Wisconsin


5 posted 04-03-2000 01:32 PM       View Profile for Dolphins3   Email Dolphins3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dolphins3

Thanks Denise  
 
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