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Open Poetry #6
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Destiny
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 47


0 posted 2000-03-30 05:54 PM


the clouds march in
like an army of occupation
stationed in my sky.
they seem to stand guard
making this territory their own
and waiting
for the lightning and thunder
reinforcements to appear...
and when these comrades
close rank around their own,
i hear the signal
from the thunder's cannon
and see the flash
of the lightning's response...
and the troops attack,
taking aim
and opening fire,
raining on my home...
reigning on my home.


© Copyright 2000 Destiny - All Rights Reserved
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

1 posted 2000-03-30 06:04 PM


wow..great poem..great comparisons you draw here...well done.

 

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-03-30 06:36 PM


Nice imagination you have, and your writing is not bad either.
Nice work.

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
3 posted 2000-03-30 08:30 PM


I like this one Destiny...very nice.  Welcome to Passions.

Marina

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-03-30 10:24 PM


Very nice work, Destiny.  Is the storm a metaphor for the turmoil in real life?  Seems to be.  I love the thunder and lightning images that come to mind.  Great words!!  

------------------------------------------------

 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-03-31 12:59 PM


Interesting take on rain! Good one..
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2000-03-31 01:00 AM


Excellent Destiny. . . when the storm comes, we can only prepare for it the best that we can. . .and hope that we can survive it. . .

Wonderful words. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-03-31 07:41 AM


Destiny~
I really enjoyed the movement of the troops through this piece.
Never thought of the storms in that frame
of mind before ... wonderfully done.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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