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Passions in Poetry

Longing, Lonely, Sweet Tonight

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 03-30-2000 04:58 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

Would I could
erase the past
while saving parts
that are best in me,
all of that--
it would be done--
as sweetly as
a whisper, "please..."

If I could feel
the trace of finger,
echoes of your words
in linger...
If I could break
this fever--
SWEAT--
Still, I'd not
be done for,
YET...
If I were SUN,
and you were DEW,
I could not, would not
diminish you...

I'd reverse all laws of universe,
if only just to breathe your breath.
© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


1 posted 03-30-2000 06:32 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


If I were SUN,
and you were DEW,
I could not, would not
diminish you...

Breathtaking Serenity, your words leave me with an ache I'm touched by this.  Thank you for sharing.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 03-30-2000 06:38 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Serenity~
This is struck with beauty.

'If I could feel
the trace of finger,
echoes of your words
in linger...'

Beautiful, hon.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 03-30-2000 10:28 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Serenity, this is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read! Absolutely beautiful!

Denise
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


4 posted 03-30-2000 10:48 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

may I have your autograph ?

serenity this is awsome
Rex}>{{{{o>
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 03-30-2000 05:46 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Butterflies--No, THANK YOU for your kindness.

Marge--as always, you warm my heart.

Denise--I am always happy if I think that you
        enjoyed...so thanks for making me
        happy!

Rex Allen--I don't know how to do autographs
          on this thing!  But thank you!
          That was a "first" for me...
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


6 posted 03-30-2000 06:23 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

Absolutely beautiful...loved every single word in it.The first few lines grab you and hold you..wonderful!

 
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


7 posted 03-30-2000 09:17 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Would I could
erase the past
while saving parts
that are best in me,
all of that--
it would be done--
as sweetly as
a whisper, "please..."
----------------

serenity-girl...I am SO taken by this exceptional poem, besides its grace and beauty, which goes unsaid..I am so connected to its emotions...I swear your wrote this looking out of my heart.
this is the true gift of poetry and this special  place...i live for the moments when I come across a poem that moves me like this
I love this poem...thank you for this tonite.
take care sweets, jm


 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman

mariee66
Senior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind


8 posted 03-30-2000 09:53 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

WOW~
This is nicely written~
What a wonderful poet you are~
Marie~


 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard


Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


9 posted 03-30-2000 09:57 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

serenity--this is a wonderful poem...touched my heart.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 03-31-2000 12:13 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Thank you, thank you, Cheryllynn...

JM, I somehow knew you'd understand.  Love in abundance to you...(and may I add that I
have been enjoying YOUR work tremendously?)

Martie--meant to "e" you to tell you especially how much I've been enjoying your work as well...Thank you so much for all of your encouragement.

Marie66-love and gratitude to you as well.
Much, much thanks.
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


11 posted 03-31-2000 12:17 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

This was DEEP girly...Definantly my favorite sis....you're quite the passion- I can't even pick ONE of my favorite lines...I loved it all!!!

*love you*


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


12 posted 03-31-2000 12:41 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Oops!  You slipped by me there, me sister!
I had to come back just give you a hug!
Lovely love to you.  Thanks.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


13 posted 03-31-2000 01:30 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I too love that phrase...simply lovely.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


14 posted 03-31-2000 01:45 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I can't even pick a favorite line. Not only are the words awesome, the rhyming style is exceptional. Love it...
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


15 posted 03-31-2000 04:29 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Wow -
What a lovely poem you have here.  This is so beautiful and so eloquent. I absolutely love the ending, too.


michael  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


16 posted 04-01-2000 10:14 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Poet deVine, Balladeer, & Incredible Michael--
i am humbled by praise from "the masters"!
Thank you all so very much.
(You guys are all so good for me!)
Loneheart
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 90
Eastern US


17 posted 04-01-2000 10:32 PM       View Profile for Loneheart   Email Loneheart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Loneheart's Home Page   View IP for Loneheart

As always your poems are filled with such feelings thank you its beautiful

 Loneheart
hsystems
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 320
Murray, UT, USA


18 posted 04-10-2000 02:01 PM       View Profile for hsystems   Email hsystems   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hsystems's Home Page   View IP for hsystems

Serenity - what a gorgeous poem!  I'm with Butterflies - these are my favorite lines:

"If I were SUN,
and you were DEW,
I could not, would not
diminish you..."

This poem is so touching, that I think it deserves another run on page one... BUMP!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm
TerryW
Senior Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 787
Louisville, Mississippi, USA


19 posted 04-10-2000 04:06 PM       View Profile for TerryW   Email TerryW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TerryW's Home Page   View IP for TerryW

serenity,
    This is one of the best poems I have ever read.  I love the imagery in this one, and the last line takes my breath away:

If I were SUN,
and you were DEW,
I could not, would not
diminish you...

I'd reverse all laws of universe,
if only just to breathe your breath.


Straight from the heart!



 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


20 posted 04-10-2000 04:58 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Serenity
First of all, I loved the rhyming in this verse. It was a smooth flowing read. It is truly an exuisite poem, tender and loving
Liz
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


21 posted 04-11-2000 10:08 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Had to thank you all again!

Loneheart--hope you're not so lonely now!
           Thank you...

Troy-------ever grateful for the BUMP!

Terry------thanks to you--shall be looking
           for you as well, GRATS.

Elizabeth--The "Queen of Green" bends her
           knee--
           To the Duchess of Finesse!Much luv
WhiteNite
Member
since 04-09-2000
Posts 249
Montgomery, AL


22 posted 04-11-2000 10:12 PM       View Profile for WhiteNite   Email WhiteNite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhiteNite's Home Page   View IP for WhiteNite

If I were SUN,
and you were DEW,
I could not, would not
diminish you...

I'd reverse all laws of universe,
if only just to breathe your breath.

-----------------------

Beautiful!!!


 "The storm rises up when the shadows descend
every beat of my heart every day without end
I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break
till theres no more to give if thats what it takes
I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed
I will lay down my life if thats what you need
every second I live thats the promise I make"

I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =)
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


23 posted 04-12-2000 12:19 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Serenity,
         this is wonderful...

If I could feel
the trace of finger,
echoes of your words

Just wonderful. . . you have done well with this one my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


24 posted 04-12-2000 02:16 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This one was the one most dear to my heart--
and Sven, you are so honest in me spirit--
simply had to thank you for your sensitivity-
your praise means much to me...lucky lady to know you well...serenity sends smiles...
 
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