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Passions in Poetry

Heart Beats

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eyesplus2
Member
since 03-02-2000
Posts 163
australia


0 posted 03-30-2000 03:49 AM       View Profile for eyesplus2   Email eyesplus2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for eyesplus2

              Heart beats
                                                                                    moments in time

                                                                                             tear  drops
                                                                                           Rivers of dreams

                                                                                                     Some found
                                                                                                      Some lost

                 Love given
                                                                                                          Love taken

                                                                                                             Heart beats
                                                                                                               Moments in life



[This message has been edited by eyesplus2 (edited 03-30-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 eyesplus2 - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 03-30-2000 09:12 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I like the poem, but found the layout to make it a bit difficult to read...perhaps try something like this:

Heart beats
   moments
     in time
        tear drops
Rivers of dreams
           Some found
              Some lost
           Love given
       Love taken
Heart beats
       moments
           in life
                                                                                                              

mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


2 posted 03-31-2000 09:22 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***eyesplus2,
This is gorgeous.
No offence Hoot, but I like the layout...kinda reminds me of Patrick Jones'
style.
Anyway, yet another fantastic piece, emotive and sooo good!!


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 03-31-2000 09:26 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

No offense, but I'm with Hoot...it's a great poem, but the layout was a bit off..  
 
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