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Open Poetry #6
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Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England

0 posted 2000-03-29 10:10 AM


Sometimes it feels like you're the only one.
At that moment in time,
I can identify with this vision,
More than ever.
Sometimes I wish that you were here
So I could hear those words,
Feel the sincerity
And cry your tears.
Sometimes I would walk a thousand miles
Just to feel acception  
-But not move an inch.
I'm waving before blind eyes.

My expanding intelligence,
Experience and knowledge,
They can't explain a thing
But you do.
You unravel it all.
A towering glory:
A rotting mass.
Does it really matter?
I suppose it doesn't.

Does it.

Sometimes I expect you to walk into my room
But that wouldn't be you.
Just another cliche,
One more unexpected fall.


 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

© Copyright 2000 Enola - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 2000-03-29 11:01 AM


Stinging ending that stays with the reader
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
2 posted 2000-03-29 11:57 AM


very emotionally taut, well done.

Parker

CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

3 posted 2000-03-29 12:34 PM


painful...but nicely done..your emotions really come threw.

 

infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 85
somerset england
4 posted 2000-03-29 12:57 PM


how i wish that you knew that i will always be here for you
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-03-29 07:05 PM


Excellently done. And I like your 'signature phrase' also.  
Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
6 posted 2000-03-30 04:09 AM


It's good to know that the emotions come through.  Everything I'm writing about at the moment is negative, I'd hate it to seem that I was constantly whining.    
infinat3 sadn3ss - I already do, stop worrying bud.


 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
7 posted 2000-03-30 04:40 AM


***Enola,
You are not whining. All this writing is an on-going process. You are gradually cleansing yourself.
Your talent is one very rarely flaunted as well as you have done.
     ***
My expanding intelligence,
Experience and knowledge,
They can't explain a thing
But you do.
     ***

This was my favourite stanza. Although it feels that you can do nothing to help yourself, your day will come.
Trust me.
Love always, Louise   xxx


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
8 posted 2000-03-30 09:41 AM


mete out -

All this writing is an on-going process. You are gradually cleansing yourself. your day will come

I suppose this is true, I hope so, I am trying to stay positive about it all.  It's become a lot easier now I've started to let it out through poetry.
hoot_owl_rn - thank you for your continuing support, I'm really grateful.


 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2000-03-30 03:55 PM


This is interesting that you have labeled this Doomsday...someday you will write a poem called New Beginnings.   James
Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
10 posted 2000-03-31 04:28 AM


James - you're right, someday I will.  

 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
11 posted 2000-04-14 04:06 AM


Nice poem, It is as usual breath takingly good, I can see that you have put alot of emotion in this one .


 With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .

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