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Open Poetry #6
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mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england

0 posted 2000-03-29 09:32 AM


***Is this one finished...? Let me know!
          ______________________

There's so much hurt inside me that I don't know what to do with it - I'm losing my grip on so much and in so many aspects of my life.

(I can't keep running to you)

I keep pushing it down - telling and promising myself that I won't react - I know that I shouldn't fuel the fire even more - but I can't help it - I've had enough of standing - bowing my head - taking your words - My eyes feel sunken - they've cried so much - You are never there to listen to me - You never ask me how my day was - You don't seem to see my glances - my advances - well f*** you - they're buried to deep to ever be retrieved now.

(I can feel the hate surging through me)

This is all so frustrating - I feel so near to a stable state - but you bring my hope crashing down constantly.

(I can feel it rising)

Things seem so much darker than usual - I feel like you're punishing me for a crime that I didn't even know existed - let alone commited -

(burning my throat)

The hate - it is going to explode out of me - I can feel it rising - burning - surging ...

But sense prevails - and I swallow the bitter taste and carry on.




 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



© Copyright 2000 Louise Parsons - All Rights Reserved
Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
1 posted 2000-03-29 09:44 AM


wow. I say thats finished, This poem struck me because it resembles the end of my last relationship so well. It was like everyword made sense. Great poem, I wouldnt add a thing.

 Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
2 posted 2000-03-29 09:51 AM


If it was me writing this poem, I don't think it would ever end.  It would just be a cycle, slightly less painful every time.  When I get wound up like this about a person, I tell them to go to hell, not literally though.  It's not really worth the hassel to stay so caring about people like that.  Anyway, it's your decision,  good luck with whatever you choose to do & take it easy.
Love & Hugs.


 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
3 posted 2000-03-29 10:09 AM


***Lucius,
Thankyou so much.
I just felt that the ending was somehow abrubt...
Oh well...cheers again for the reply.  

***Enola,
Thankyou, thankyou and thankyou!
There is an e-mail waiting for you...or at least there will be when I have written it!      


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 85
somerset england
4 posted 2000-03-29 01:12 PM


as i said earlier , unfortunately this is fantastic . i hope/wish she knows how much of a special and wonderful person you are .

ps. if you add anything to this poem ill break your f*****g neck . ok

CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

5 posted 2000-03-29 01:37 PM


Its perfect..it says it all...I've been there,felt that,more times than I care to remember...nicely done.

 

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-03-29 06:23 PM



Mete,
I'm in awe.  Your talent and what you release when you write amazes me...I swear!!  Unfinished??? I'm not sure what you can possibly add but if I have learned anything from your writings I'm not going to put a limit on you. Great Job!!

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
7 posted 2000-03-30 03:46 AM


***Cabey,
Thankyou Sweetheart.
I think she does deep down. It's just that emotionally she is just as fraut as I am.
But with friends like you, I can get through anything.        
Love Lou  xxx      

***Cheryl,
It's not a nice feeling, is it?      
Thankyou for your kind word and support.

***Butterflies,
Your replies always make me smile!
Thankyou.
But you are i awe of me? Surely it should be the other way around?!        


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



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