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 I unpeeled an onion and it made me cry
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Passions in Poetry

I unpeeled an onion and it made me cry

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Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


0 posted 03-28-2000 11:40 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corazon


I carefully peeled down
a layer of hatred
and one of long time resentment
another of that old familiar irritation
one of coldness
and another of protection from pain
and handed you
the very heart of me
ready, waiting
for the edge of your trust
to help me
pare them softly
carefully
and rid myself of all of the old
but you carelessly looked
past my painful bareness
to only the places
where you saw need
to cut deeper
and you wielded
your familiar blade
I guess…
you prefer your onions diced
so I quickly unpeeled my skins
tied them tightly in a knot
at the top
so this won't
ever
happen again

I unpeeled an onion today
and it made me cry.
© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
1 posted 03-28-2000 11:48 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I'm not peeling onions right now, but a tear or three is rolling down my cheeks ...
      (((((HUGS)))))
I could feel and identify with this piece so well Corazon ...
Excellent writing here ....

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon





Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 03-28-2000 11:59 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

So sad   Well written, Corazon!

Denise
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


3 posted 03-28-2000 12:01 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

This vividly portrays the pain of opening yourself to someone only to have them zero in on your vulnerability ... well done!
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


4 posted 03-28-2000 12:14 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

thanks Shannon, Denise and Ruth for such touching comments....some day again I will write to make people smile instead of cry...sigh...
glad you liked...thanks
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 03-28-2000 02:03 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Corazon~
This is an incredible piece.
Very, very well done.
The thought you put into it
is so eveident.

Sometimes pain produces such
tears so they can be shared with others.
*HUGS* and more *HUGS*
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


6 posted 03-28-2000 02:47 PM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe


Corazon,
Often times
we give our trust
to someone only for
them to abuse it and even
though i know this exact feeling
you explain and i know the pain it
brings you have to keep trying love.
Someone is out there for you.
Someone that will take your
heart and hold it in their
hands taking care of it
and once again
making it
whole.


Good Luck,
~Angie

P.S  isn't it to bad that the best poetry comes from a broken heart  


[This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 03-28-2000).]
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


7 posted 03-28-2000 02:53 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Another sweet smelling slice of Corazon -- your espinado pricks nice words from your heart!
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 03-28-2000 03:02 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

What a talent you have for displaying your emotions in poetic form. This is so beautifully done......
JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


9 posted 03-28-2000 06:30 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Lovely writing Corazon...I appreciate your soft heart and I hope you will find someone that will respect and appreciate your beauty.  James
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


10 posted 03-28-2000 06:52 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Enjoyed reading this poem, one layer at a time.  Liked your analogy to peeling an onion, and the free verse worked well I think.
Nice work.
hsystems
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 320
Murray, UT, USA


11 posted 03-28-2000 06:55 PM       View Profile for hsystems   Email hsystems   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hsystems's Home Page   View IP for hsystems

Beautifully written, Corazon...your username is well-chosen - plenty of "heart" in this poem!   )

Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


12 posted 03-28-2000 07:43 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

Your poem shows, why we hold back are true selves..even with the people we love most.Nicely done!

 
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


13 posted 03-28-2000 07:53 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Corazon, this flowed flawlessly, with so much meaning. Loved it.

Parker
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


14 posted 03-29-2000 09:27 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

Marge thanks so much for the compliments and the hugs  

just_another_fe, loved your poem, thank you for thinking of me and for the good wishes

P.S  isn't it to bad that the best poetry comes from a broken heart  
….yep….sigh

LR  thank you…my espinado keeps me company these days…at least its good it can write  good poems *g*
Balladeer...  jmlee12345... Danny ...    hsystems... Chery ... parker....     thank you   am glad you enjoyed the fruits of my sleepless poetry writing nights
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


15 posted 03-29-2000 11:15 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

A slice of your heart that makes me cry. My thoughts are with you as I know how you feel my dear  
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


16 posted 03-30-2000 11:57 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi Corazon,

I am so glad I did not miss this, wow you show very much power in your words, I am sorry though because its sad when we lay our selves open only to be hurt deeper.

Cerenity
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


17 posted 04-08-2000 08:14 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Well, I know I'm late for this peeling but this is a powerful well done poem and I just wanted to let you know...you are strong!
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