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Passions in Poetry

Hank Killed the Devil in the Harland Bottom Bog

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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


0 posted 03-28-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Local Rebel

Warm blanketing mist
rolled August fog
across Harland Bottom
half moon slicing
through drops
dew hung dripping
from kudzu laden trees
Frogs swamp singing
to stray amphibimuse

Russell stooge thumped fists
flying into sweaty palms
walking the white line
Trey Moe thwacked him quiet
Hank walked silent
footfalls fading into fog
the bog chirping, hooting, sleeping
into the midnight moonlight

Runt lagged six
paces behind the pack
jeans dragging asphalt
fraying more threads
dangling into boot
heels made him 2 inches
taller than short

Rusty muffler rumble
V-8 echoing thru timbers
Pepper Cox in his beaten
step side lights heading
around the crossroads glowing
halos into long fog shadows

Runt grunted "Pepper"
the footstep quartet skirting
to the shoulder crouched
in the ramble bye the Constable
half drunk hound dog Hal
driving him home again
hanging from the passenger
window howling at moon
shadows Red lights braked
timing chain skipping
back firing as Pepper pulled
to a roaring stop
face white whiskered over
shoulder shouting "Boys"
Hal growling "Ya'll need not
be a runnin round out here, likely
get killed dead." Grinding gears
he resumed the ride
home to his other half
case of beer

Trey inhaled passing
the roach into Russell's
thumping palms coughed out "crap"
waiting for Pepper to pass
gas burning out black
smoke into the fog
Boys resumed the walk
into the Devil's lair
Runt lagging six paces
behind the pack

Nobody walked the bottom
to the dark of night
the dead of night
when the bog yeilded
the harvest of a hundred years
the fountain of a dead grave
the muse of the mist
the source of silence
the bottom of daylight
bottom of life
Evil dead reared up in
sunlight those who tried
to hide in the dark

Devil's lair had a fountain
with a demon's head
breathing mist to the evil
garden and out to the bog
A myth to most
but to those who walked
in daylight it was there,
real remnant brick crumbling
the stone head spouting
rays of evil from blind eyes

Inverted crosses wrought the
iron gates lacing the ancient
garden the ranks of
a forgotten clan passed
to generations of the
Born Again.

Hank didn't hold cotton
to the devil lore
thought the Henley brothers
the only true slime
to ever ooze from the bog
thirteen mean sons of
bitches and their dad
till they threw him
from the back of a
moving pick-up
everybody said they all
screwed their sister
the only girl

Runt dragged heels
against thread bare
nerves as the four boys
bound by pride, fear,
stupidity, and a bud lid
squared their spines
ripping oxygen from the fog
as they approached the
mossy shrine ever-ready
beaming lights glaring
into the stone demon's mouth

Gasping as bats flapped
through the summer sky
the boys settled in
sitting on the edge of the
old stone wall that lined
the dry pool the wrought
iron gates creaking in the
night breeze

Russell kicked Reeboks
and thumped stooge thumps
to occupy the time Trey
licking another joint into roll
as a flame lit another puff
of eternity Runt thought
he saw red eyes in the mist
and hid his own
as a Night Hawk flew over

The boys waited

Waited

Swamp burping out cricket songs
till dawn when Sol's rays
proved the Devil no scarier than
Sunday Schools Revelations



 Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran


[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 03-28-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
1 posted 03-28-2000 11:15 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Wow!!!  Exquisite imagery Rebel !!!!
Very chilling piece ....
Excellent writing here ....
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 03-28-2000 11:22 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Parts of this remind me of coon-hunting ventures in my childhood... where protecting the corn just didn't quite seem worth facing the scary things hiding behind every stump and underneath every bush. *G*

This is great... it pulls the reader in for the entire trip.
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


3 posted 03-28-2000 11:44 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

this is incredible....reminds me of the time my kids came home from an adventure down the river and my daughter swears (she even had feathers to prove it) that they found the place where Macho killed a chicken...lol...memories are great when you can write them as well as you  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


4 posted 03-28-2000 03:00 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Thanks very much ladies... another title for this one may have been -- How Night Hawke got his name...

(can you tell which one wuz me??) LOL
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


5 posted 03-28-2000 07:16 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

WOW! A most EXCELLENT tale! Like the feel and the flow with all the powerful imagery.  Top shelf material that should be placed in the top 100 of PIP. And my vote is for the title as posted.  I do like your style Sir Rebel.  Thanks for the read.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


6 posted 03-28-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Rebel~
This is fascinating.
What images lurked in the swampy bog.
I ain't scared 'a no ghosts !
And everybody knows the 'devil' went
down to Georgia ... so we're safe !
Me?  I'm sticking close to Runt
and covering my eyes ... just in case !

Man, you really brought this whole
scene to life for me.
Wonderful !
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


7 posted 03-28-2000 09:29 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

This I like.
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


8 posted 03-28-2000 09:39 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

I know who to invite next time I go camping LR!!!! I'm very impressed with this...you knew that, right??? Keep em flowin sir!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


9 posted 03-29-2000 09:34 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Thanks everyone...I'll be happy to go camping anytime... somebody just bring the tokes... LOL
Tess
Member
since 03-22-2000
Posts 291
Australia


10 posted 03-29-2000 09:43 AM       View Profile for Tess   Email Tess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tess's Home Page   View IP for Tess

So much I love about this one..the images..the cahracters.. the story..the way it draws you in so you're there with them till the end

loved this line "half moon slicing
               through drops"
sets the scene well

and this part caught me too"the harvest of a hundred years
               the fountain of a dead grave
               the muse of the mist
               the source of silence"

and this"Runt dragged heels
               against thread bare
               nerves"
a catch of their fear and tension there

More please!!!  




 "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time
that you've never had it before."
~author unknown~


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 03-29-2000 10:53 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow...what a tale you've told here and with such intense imagery...wonderfully done  
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


12 posted 03-29-2000 10:43 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

When the stars and moon are speaking in whispers about the devil,
madness setting in
twisted 'round a tree-
roots snarled in ashen memories
of feathers tossed by hawks
who soar through fear
on nameless nights...

remember this...


I have a tent.

hehe...        


Seriously, your writing here is wonderful in both imagery and memory... you take the reader with you to see life through your eyes. I was going to point out several lines which I thought were very well done, but as I read, there were more and more and too many to reference. Thanks for the read. Excellent writing. Sincerely.

You may not have a name, but you certainly name your days and brand them in memory... then pass along those memories by naming them to your reader. Well done, indeed!

-doreen
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


13 posted 03-30-2000 02:53 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Wow!!! Great imagery!! I could feel the fog wrap around my legs and the acrid taste of the roach and the intense gut wrenching bravado/fear in the moonlight and I could see the red eyes of the Night Hawk.Very well written.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


14 posted 03-30-2000 04:23 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

This tale is much more than "two inches taller than short". A captivating verse that drags us right into the bog. Well done and very intriguing.
Liz
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


15 posted 03-30-2000 09:18 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Doreen...how big is that tent?  Will it fit on the back of a cafe racer?  LOL

Thanks to all of you for your time and wonderful compliments.... In my mind I know all poetry is about love at some level...when I put down my memories like this even when love isn't the apparent theme I look to see where it is.. and I think here it's the bond of friendship, the love of adolesence turning into maturity, and maybe a little love for my new friends in sharing a bit of me and my life experience...

Thanks again... TTFN
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


16 posted 03-30-2000 12:39 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Yes.
TerryW
Senior Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 787
Louisville, Mississippi, USA


17 posted 03-30-2000 01:02 PM       View Profile for TerryW   Email TerryW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TerryW's Home Page   View IP for TerryW

Very good.  I like the story in this one !






 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


18 posted 03-30-2000 01:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Rebel, this reads easy and you make it look easy but, in my book.....it ain't easy! Normally, the smoother the flow, the harder the work to make it so. I applaud your abilities....and your storytelling.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


19 posted 03-30-2000 05:58 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Thanks very much.... wow deer.. what a compliment... thanks...
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


20 posted 03-31-2000 12:45 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

I can easily say that this is one of the most fantastic poems I've yet read from you.  I'm always caught off guard and delightedly amazed (although, I shouldn't be amazed by now...lol), at the way you use imagery and the slow rolling flow your poems have.  Quite an experience, I was there with you!  Thank you for sharing the memory.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


21 posted 03-31-2000 04:09 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

I am always amazed by two things... the way you write and the way you compliment me...

I blush!!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


22 posted 03-31-2000 05:41 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

echo a wow!  Tremendous writing!
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