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Open Poetry #6
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-03-28 10:40 AM


Warm blanketing mist
rolled August fog
across Harland Bottom
half moon slicing
through drops
dew hung dripping
from kudzu laden trees
Frogs swamp singing
to stray amphibimuse

Russell stooge thumped fists
flying into sweaty palms
walking the white line
Trey Moe thwacked him quiet
Hank walked silent
footfalls fading into fog
the bog chirping, hooting, sleeping
into the midnight moonlight

Runt lagged six
paces behind the pack
jeans dragging asphalt
fraying more threads
dangling into boot
heels made him 2 inches
taller than short

Rusty muffler rumble
V-8 echoing thru timbers
Pepper Cox in his beaten
step side lights heading
around the crossroads glowing
halos into long fog shadows

Runt grunted "Pepper"
the footstep quartet skirting
to the shoulder crouched
in the ramble bye the Constable
half drunk hound dog Hal
driving him home again
hanging from the passenger
window howling at moon
shadows Red lights braked
timing chain skipping
back firing as Pepper pulled
to a roaring stop
face white whiskered over
shoulder shouting "Boys"
Hal growling "Ya'll need not
be a runnin round out here, likely
get killed dead." Grinding gears
he resumed the ride
home to his other half
case of beer

Trey inhaled passing
the roach into Russell's
thumping palms coughed out "crap"
waiting for Pepper to pass
gas burning out black
smoke into the fog
Boys resumed the walk
into the Devil's lair
Runt lagging six paces
behind the pack

Nobody walked the bottom
to the dark of night
the dead of night
when the bog yeilded
the harvest of a hundred years
the fountain of a dead grave
the muse of the mist
the source of silence
the bottom of daylight
bottom of life
Evil dead reared up in
sunlight those who tried
to hide in the dark

Devil's lair had a fountain
with a demon's head
breathing mist to the evil
garden and out to the bog
A myth to most
but to those who walked
in daylight it was there,
real remnant brick crumbling
the stone head spouting
rays of evil from blind eyes

Inverted crosses wrought the
iron gates lacing the ancient
garden the ranks of
a forgotten clan passed
to generations of the
Born Again.

Hank didn't hold cotton
to the devil lore
thought the Henley brothers
the only true slime
to ever ooze from the bog
thirteen mean sons of
bitches and their dad
till they threw him
from the back of a
moving pick-up
everybody said they all
screwed their sister
the only girl

Runt dragged heels
against thread bare
nerves as the four boys
bound by pride, fear,
stupidity, and a bud lid
squared their spines
ripping oxygen from the fog
as they approached the
mossy shrine ever-ready
beaming lights glaring
into the stone demon's mouth

Gasping as bats flapped
through the summer sky
the boys settled in
sitting on the edge of the
old stone wall that lined
the dry pool the wrought
iron gates creaking in the
night breeze

Russell kicked Reeboks
and thumped stooge thumps
to occupy the time Trey
licking another joint into roll
as a flame lit another puff
of eternity Runt thought
he saw red eyes in the mist
and hid his own
as a Night Hawk flew over

The boys waited

Waited

Swamp burping out cricket songs
till dawn when Sol's rays
proved the Devil no scarier than
Sunday Schools Revelations

< !signature-->

 Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran


[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 03-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
1 posted 2000-03-28 11:15 AM


Wow!!!  Exquisite imagery Rebel !!!!
Very chilling piece ....
Excellent writing here ....

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2000-03-28 11:22 AM


Parts of this remind me of coon-hunting ventures in my childhood... where protecting the corn just didn't quite seem worth facing the scary things hiding behind every stump and underneath every bush. *G*

This is great... it pulls the reader in for the entire trip.

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

3 posted 2000-03-28 11:44 AM


this is incredible....reminds me of the time my kids came home from an adventure down the river and my daughter swears (she even had feathers to prove it) that they found the place where Macho killed a chicken...lol...memories are great when you can write them as well as you  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
4 posted 2000-03-28 03:00 PM


Thanks very much ladies... another title for this one may have been -- How Night Hawke got his name...

(can you tell which one wuz me??) LOL

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
5 posted 2000-03-28 07:16 PM


WOW! A most EXCELLENT tale! Like the feel and the flow with all the powerful imagery.  Top shelf material that should be placed in the top 100 of PIP. And my vote is for the title as posted.  I do like your style Sir Rebel.  Thanks for the read.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-03-28 09:25 PM


Rebel~
This is fascinating.
What images lurked in the swampy bog.
I ain't scared 'a no ghosts !
And everybody knows the 'devil' went
down to Georgia ... so we're safe !
Me?  I'm sticking close to Runt
and covering my eyes ... just in case !

Man, you really brought this whole
scene to life for me.
Wonderful !
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

7 posted 2000-03-28 09:29 PM


This I like.
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
8 posted 2000-03-28 09:39 PM


I know who to invite next time I go camping LR!!!! I'm very impressed with this...you knew that, right??? Keep em flowin sir!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
9 posted 2000-03-29 09:34 AM


Thanks everyone...I'll be happy to go camping anytime... somebody just bring the tokes... LOL
Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
10 posted 2000-03-29 09:43 AM


So much I love about this one..the images..the cahracters.. the story..the way it draws you in so you're there with them till the end

loved this line "half moon slicing
               through drops"
sets the scene well

and this part caught me too"the harvest of a hundred years
               the fountain of a dead grave
               the muse of the mist
               the source of silence"

and this"Runt dragged heels
               against thread bare
               nerves"
a catch of their fear and tension there

More please!!!  




 "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time
that you've never had it before."
~author unknown~



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 2000-03-29 10:53 AM


Wow...what a tale you've told here and with such intense imagery...wonderfully done  
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
12 posted 2000-03-29 10:43 PM


When the stars and moon are speaking in whispers about the devil,
madness setting in
twisted 'round a tree-
roots snarled in ashen memories
of feathers tossed by hawks
who soar through fear
on nameless nights...

remember this...


I have a tent.

hehe...        


Seriously, your writing here is wonderful in both imagery and memory... you take the reader with you to see life through your eyes. I was going to point out several lines which I thought were very well done, but as I read, there were more and more and too many to reference. Thanks for the read. Excellent writing. Sincerely.

You may not have a name, but you certainly name your days and brand them in memory... then pass along those memories by naming them to your reader. Well done, indeed!

-doreen

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
13 posted 2000-03-30 02:53 AM


Wow!!! Great imagery!! I could feel the fog wrap around my legs and the acrid taste of the roach and the intense gut wrenching bravado/fear in the moonlight and I could see the red eyes of the Night Hawk.Very well written.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho



Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
14 posted 2000-03-30 04:23 AM


This tale is much more than "two inches taller than short". A captivating verse that drags us right into the bog. Well done and very intriguing.
Liz

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
15 posted 2000-03-30 09:18 AM


Doreen...how big is that tent?  Will it fit on the back of a cafe racer?  LOL

Thanks to all of you for your time and wonderful compliments.... In my mind I know all poetry is about love at some level...when I put down my memories like this even when love isn't the apparent theme I look to see where it is.. and I think here it's the bond of friendship, the love of adolesence turning into maturity, and maybe a little love for my new friends in sharing a bit of me and my life experience...

Thanks again... TTFN

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
16 posted 2000-03-30 12:39 PM


Yes.
TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
17 posted 2000-03-30 01:02 PM


Very good.  I like the story in this one !






 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 2000-03-30 01:09 PM


Rebel, this reads easy and you make it look easy but, in my book.....it ain't easy! Normally, the smoother the flow, the harder the work to make it so. I applaud your abilities....and your storytelling.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
19 posted 2000-03-30 05:58 PM


Thanks very much.... wow deer.. what a compliment... thanks...
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
20 posted 2000-03-31 12:45 PM


I can easily say that this is one of the most fantastic poems I've yet read from you.  I'm always caught off guard and delightedly amazed (although, I shouldn't be amazed by now...lol), at the way you use imagery and the slow rolling flow your poems have.  Quite an experience, I was there with you!  Thank you for sharing the memory.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
21 posted 2000-03-31 04:09 PM


I am always amazed by two things... the way you write and the way you compliment me...

I blush!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2000-03-31 05:41 PM


echo a wow!  Tremendous writing!
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