World Went Away - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-03-28 10:21 AM

The walls have been closing in on me
And the time seems to just melt away
Nothing will ever matter anymore
After my world has went away

Taking a moment of extreme indifference
With nothing left to say
The end can’t come soon enough
Waiting until my world goes away

Coming and going is all the same to me
As is different shades of grey,
Living and dying holds the same luster
Until my world has gone away

Everything I’ve ever done is turned to dust
No one I ever knew, ever stays,
I am left behind watching, waiting helpless
As my world goes away

So much gained to lose all at once
But I will remember this day
The day I lost it all and died inside
The day my world went away

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-03-28 10:36 AM

The walls have been closing in on me
And the time seems to just melt away
Nothing will ever matter anymore
After my world has went away
Taking a moment of extreme indifference
With nothing left to say
The end can’t come soon enough
Waiting until my world goes away

Coming and going is all the same to me
As is different shades of grey,
Living and dying holds the same luster
Until my world has gone away
--------------
So much gained to lose all at once
But I will remember this day
The day I lost it all and died inside
The day my world went away
----------------

the emotions of this poem really touch me, it hurts to read the poem as you have written it so well, the emptiness, the loss of promise...very well written and expressed...the last stanza is perfect.
stalking you always,
your jm

Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-03-28 12:22 PM

Very sad

I'm sure we can all relate to feeling like this at one time or another. Well written, JML!

Denise

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

3 posted 2000-03-28 12:29 PM

Your words have caused me to once again remember why I relate so well to your work. Amazing as always you are an exceptionally gifted writer!!! Thank you for sharing without reservation.

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-03-28 01:15 PM

Well constructed and expressed work, JML. You've very eloquently related just how that grey can feel.

~ Claire

just_another_fe
Member

since 2000-02-05

Posts 483
MICHIGAN

5 posted 2000-03-28 03:05 PM

                              JML~
                               I
                            have to
                          agree with
                         the rest this
                        was a great poem
                     but its to bad that you
                       were hurt. broken
                        hearts write the
                          best poetry
                           its a sad
                              fact

                             ~Angie

[This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 03-28-2000).]

CherylLynnMckee
Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 215

6 posted 2000-03-28 04:39 PM

The sadness comes threw in your writing.You makes us feel it to.Very well written.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.