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Passions in Poetry

World Went Away

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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 01-20-2000
Posts 1151
New Orleans, LA


0 posted 03-28-2000 10:21 AM       View Profile for PoeticKnight   Email PoeticKnight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for PoeticKnight

The walls have been closing in on me
And the time seems to just melt away
Nothing will ever matter anymore
After my world has went away

Taking a moment of extreme indifference
With nothing left to say
The end canít come soon enough
Waiting until my world goes away

Coming and going is all the same to me
As is different shades of grey,
Living and dying holds the same luster
Until my world has gone away

Everything Iíve ever done is turned to dust
No one I ever knew, ever stays,
I am left behind watching, waiting helpless
As my world goes away

So much gained to lose all at once
But I will remember this day
The day I lost it all and died inside
The day my world went away

© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 03-28-2000 10:36 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

The walls have been closing in on me
And the time seems to just melt away
Nothing will ever matter anymore
After my world has went away
Taking a moment of extreme indifference
With nothing left to say
The end canít come soon enough
Waiting until my world goes away

Coming and going is all the same to me
As is different shades of grey,
Living and dying holds the same luster
Until my world has gone away
--------------
So much gained to lose all at once
But I will remember this day
The day I lost it all and died inside
The day my world went away
----------------

the emotions of this poem really touch me, it hurts to read the poem as you have written it so well, the emptiness, the loss of promise...very well written and expressed...the last stanza is perfect.
stalking you always,
your jm

 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 03-28-2000 12:22 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very sad   I'm sure we can all relate to feeling like this at one time or another. Well written, JML!

Denise
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


3 posted 03-28-2000 12:29 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

Your words have caused me to once again remember why I relate so well to your work. Amazing as always you are an exceptionally gifted writer!!!  Thank you for sharing without reservation.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 03-28-2000 01:15 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Well constructed and expressed work, JML. You've very eloquently related just how that grey can feel.

~ Claire
just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


5 posted 03-28-2000 03:05 PM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe


                              JML~
                               I  
                            have to
                          agree with
                         the rest this
                        was a great poem
                     but its to bad that you
                       were hurt. broken
                        hearts write the
                          best poetry
                           its a sad
                              fact
                                
                             ~Angie




[This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 03-28-2000).]
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


6 posted 03-28-2000 04:39 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

The sadness comes threw in your writing.You makes us feel it to.Very well written.

 
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