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Open Poetry #6
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lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho

0 posted 2000-03-26 04:40 PM


lost it
< !signature-->

 



[This message has been edited by lucky (edited 06-01-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Dale W. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-03-26 04:53 PM


powerful poem...very dark and strong images...
you should show work like this over in Dark Passions...they will enjoy it.
take care, jm

 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-03-26 05:50 PM


I love the layout of this one.  Very nice job!!  I agree with JM, dark passions for sure.  This is powerful, yet mysterious.  

 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-03-26 08:47 PM


Lucky~

Great big *sighs* at your talent, my friend.

'I saw what my eyes couldn’t
beseeched by a mirror unbroken by my image screaming with ideals on nights filled with deafening silence'

Your feelings are powerful.
The presentation ... *sighs*
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-03-26 09:24 PM


When I read this I feel like I'm looking right into your raw and naked feelings...they have exceptional emotional pull on me....Hugs!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
5 posted 2000-03-27 10:29 AM


WOW!! This is an exceptionally emotional and powerful poem.  
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
6 posted 2000-03-27 08:49 PM


What a deep and complex poem this is!  I just need to let you know how it calls to me.

There are so many unique, intriguing and original ideas rolled into one here that speak directly to my heart!

A mysterious, yet clear need -
"I shunned my satiety with emerging hunger",

A darkened grief of shadowed hopelessness -
"but then unyielding obstinate night came
solitary cold with frank blisters of my decaying self..."

And what a painfully stark and vivid portrait this:
"a still-born whose vast unplowed heart hears only indifference from interiors bleeding".

Then, as strong as the ocean's crashing, incoming tide, this truth -
"the mystique dream while life’s reality exerted its every whim."

Ah, thank you for sharing.  If I read it differently than you meant it, please forgive me, but I love it!


lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
7 posted 2000-03-27 11:14 PM


Cheese,

I goose I better be sayin' sumpthin' to ya all's.

So Janet, your over in "dark P" huh... I give it some thought. Mean while I'll take a squint.

Lone W. your kinda like me wife "Mysterious"

Marge,
If I stopped to sigh at all your post I'd never get any writing done. Could that be why I'm losing it. I gotta do something 'bout this sighin.

Now Martie,
I'm so touched be your sentiments "looking right into your raw and naked feelings" and such. You appear to have a few of your own.

Ruth
I'm so touched that you would even notice. A great compliment from a great lady (and I have been learning a bit from you... shhh)

RJG
What do yu mean "a deep and complex poem" I been trying to figure you out for years. You do know there are the unborn struggling for a life not yet manifest who scream to be, but I'll never tell.

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
8 posted 2000-03-27 11:54 PM


Ah, bie-bee, I thought you knew everything about me ... but, yes, ah, I know, we're both deep and mysterious; this probably adds to the magnetic effect, drawing us ever closer together.

We love it, don't we - ever learning more about each other!!!?!!!

I love you, my thiry-seven year love - my mystery, my passion, my yearning, my learning, my darling, my past, my present, my future ... I love you.




 ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG



lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
9 posted 2000-03-29 04:24 AM


Rosey Bubba,

   I did know everything... Then I was born, and along came you and, what's this "we're" stuff (sounds like there's one to many in there for me to deal with) and what's this "magnetic effects" your referring to. I'm a right handed batter and your in left field. But you know one thing babe..? You ARE a mystery, why do you go telling people how old I am. Now everybody's gonna know I'm 38.

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