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Open Poetry #6
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 2000-03-26 07:21 AM


Come to me
        
      you
    
of the alone
     the prey
       caught sweating
         in the shadow
       of nights
unlightened

there is
  a sweet chime of
trees and the brush
of wings
       in the cradled peace
  of forests

they drift out
your name

           and mine

the rifts
         and rents
        of impossibilities

washed away like the
       chase of servals and leopards
after the hunts

I am the wild
      you wake to

yet lose in the lost
dream
        and how I know
the taste of your
       water-streams
the sight of your
               fresh-run trails

I know them as the
        whole of a harvested world

Come to me
          and yield the grains
        to bounty

you
     and I

delivered
        as the lamb and lion
caught in the blink
        of a sparrow’s eye
the touch of the wind
         of a moth’s flight



© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
1 posted 2000-03-26 07:26 AM


OUTSTANDING free verse!

Rave on!

Rave on!

INclan

Moonshine
Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265
Australia
2 posted 2000-03-26 07:59 AM


Wow Severn,

This is truly lovely! I've read a few of your pieces lately and there is a trend here.......excellence! Teach me.......lol Well done.

Moonshine.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-03-26 08:22 AM


Wow. I'm at a loss for words. I love the form, the imagery...the whole thing! Very good!  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-03-26 09:43 AM


Kamla~
Exquisite !

'you
  and I

delivered
  as the lamb and lion
caught in the blink
  of a sparrow’s eye
the touch of the wind
   of a moth’s flight

Simply exquisite !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


David2
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407

5 posted 2000-03-26 09:52 AM


Free verse is not something I usually enjoy but the way your words complimented one another was beautiful. Nice ride!
      David2

Panthers Chrysalis
Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 51

6 posted 2000-03-26 02:01 PM


Lost on the breeze of your talents! Simply Marvelous!!!  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-03-26 03:45 PM


Severn,
this is EXCELLENT...the words float and the presentation and imagery were perfect, very nice!!!!!!!!!
take care, jm

 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2000-03-26 04:04 PM


Sweet butterfly, you've done it again!!! This is Excellent my dear, the imagery is fantastic and well its beautiful as your poetry always is. Well Done!!   *hugs*

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2000-03-26 05:16 PM


I do love your poetic ambience.... Very nice, Severn..
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
10 posted 2000-03-26 07:21 PM


"I am the wild you wake to"

Wow, what a line.  Awesome poem, Severn.  Such beautiful flow of emotion.  I lack aprropriate compliment for you.


Michael

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2000-03-26 09:28 PM


Oh my gosh, and wow!  I have no words really for the wonder of you poetic talent Kamla...you are ....you just are!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2000-03-27 01:40 AM


That is one awesome poem, my friend!

Corinne

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
13 posted 2000-03-27 03:01 AM


K - Your poetry is a breath of fresh air.  Wonderful to see you posting, & please keep it up.

N  

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
14 posted 2000-03-27 09:52 AM





                      A MASTERPIECE

  
                           liz

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
15 posted 2000-03-27 11:12 AM


I sit here at a loss for words....wonderful!!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2000-03-27 05:57 PM


Don't you think a Poem of this caliber should be sent back for another look?
YES!
Liz

Shelley
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263
Ohio, USA
17 posted 2000-03-27 06:20 PM


I too agree that this is excellent!

I love the feeling it leaves me with!

Beautiful, wonderful, stimulating and excelent job!!

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

18 posted 2000-03-27 06:30 PM


Magnificent. Like Michael, I was especially moved by ~


"I am the wild
      you wake to"

Such lovely, lovely writing. Thank you!

~ Claire

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
19 posted 2000-03-27 06:38 PM


What can I add that has not been said?
very nice poetry.  A masterful work.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

20 posted 2000-03-28 01:35 AM


INclan - such a mighty compliment deserves a mighty thankyou!!!

Moonshine - Soon you and Maree and I can sit around and talk poetry - won't that just be cool?! Thanks hon!

PdV - thankye thankye thankye!!!  

Marge(y) - I am glad you liked this, ray of sunshine.  

David - I can truly relate - I feel that way about rhyming verse!!! I can't quite click with it...but every now and then one comes along that just reaches me deeply. I'm honoured to have written a freeverse poem that you responded to. Thanks.

P C - glad you breezed through! Thanks.

jm - thanks sweetie - very much...such lovely words you gave me.

Ss - let's see....it's 2.5 weeks now! I can't wait... here I come Sydney...thanks always for your support...

Nan - poetic ambience? Wow - cool!!! Thanks Nan!

Michael...That is a lovely lovely thing to say and I deeply appreciate it.

Martie - then may I suggest we stick to the one oxygen tent then?? LOL - I have an idea - let's do a collaboration one day.

Corinne - thanks hon - hey, I keep meaning to write - I promise I will...

Nic - My fellow piscean...(and aren't we just the best...*g*) thankyou.

Lizzy - thankyou dear for that mammoth compliment. Your faithful support is a treasure to me.

Ruthy - thankyou my friend. Hugs

Lizzy again -  

Shelley - that is such a range of effects and wow! Thanks!!!

Claire - ThankYOU for reading and liking!

Danny - hehe. It can get like that! Thankyou so much...


K




Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
21 posted 2000-03-28 07:52 AM


See ... this is what happens when you don't keep those claws in as I told you to .......
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr this is too too wild Lady K

Later, my favourite feline    

SP

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

22 posted 2000-03-28 07:37 PM


Hehe...grrrrrrrr back from a certain furry marsupial...NOT!

Thanks sweet Sir P

Lady K

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
23 posted 2000-03-28 07:57 PM


Severn, this just flowed right over me, do it again.

Parker

CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215

24 posted 2000-03-28 08:04 PM


Wonderful..lovely..your very talented.

 

Moonshine
Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265
Australia
25 posted 2000-03-28 10:35 PM


Yup Severn - it shall be very kewl!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
26 posted 2000-03-28 10:55 PM


I'm sorry I did no comment on this before, your poem is exquisite. Thank you for posting it. *L*
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

27 posted 2000-03-29 12:50 PM


Sweet Butterfly, yessss 2 1/2 weeks to go YAY!!! and You'll touch down in Sydney wooohooooooo        

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



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