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Open Poetry #6
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The Mountain........................#1
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Mountain........................#1 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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The mountain stood within my sight With jagged peaks that reached so high They hid the twinkling stars at night Embedded in the summer sky. And, high upon the mountain's face Clear waterfalls cascaded down The side until they reached the base To water fruit trees in the ground. So held in awe, so struck was I By this stone monument I spied I bid my hill a fond farewell And journeyed to the mountain's side. But, as I stood there at the base, The mountain did not seem so high. It's trees were barren, void of fruit And water falls ran dry. Then, as I stared into the night Across the lonesome valley floor, A mountain stood within my sight... The hill I'd known before. Now, sitting on that valley floor, I am forced to pay the cost For the hill that I thought mountainous And the mountain that I lost. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is wonderful Balladeer, really enjoyed it, thanks  What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Pally-O, this is just great! Wow - this is a gentle, reflective side of you and it's wonderfully done... 'Then, as I stared into the night Across the lonesome valley floor, A mountain stood within my sight... The hill I'd known before.' That verse is my favourite... Good stuff 'deer! K'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I'm sending you back into your archives more often - Bring on the good'ns, Deer...  |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
This last stanza was excellent! Now, sitting on that valley floor, I am forced to pay the cost For the hill that I thought mountainous And the mountain that I lost. I loved it! David2 |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sir Balladeer, you are amazing! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A lyrical lesson! This is wonderful..  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Damn, ain't that just the way life is, too! You always tell it so very well, sir. Corinne |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I don't remember which of your poems I read first... I just remember the awe that started creeping into my consciousness as I read them... thanks for the repeat! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I remember the impact this had on me when I first read it......it still does! Very well done, Balladeer! Denise |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Balladeer, Absolutely marvelous. And so true! Your sentiment could not be expressed more beautifully! TerryTerry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sir Balladeer...I remember this one well and it is as lovely now as 'twas the first time I read it |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I remember this one too! Just as good this time around! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ What a wonderful thought. Back and forth from mountain to hill ... sort of reminds me of 'the grass is always greener' adage. Simply thought-provoking. You are truly gifted, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Amazingly done!! I had two feelings from this, the first being as Marge said the "grass is always greener" effect and the second being that when we first give thought to climbing the "mountain" in our life we may find that it wasn't such a mountain after all. Take care and live well, thank you for sharing your work |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a wonderful place we have here....and with such kind people. Thank you all very much....... |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Balladeer, what a tale of perception...you are, indeed, a master Teller and I must thank you, in earnest, for the gifting. ~ Claire |
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