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Passions in Poetry

Into The Snow

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dhuron
Member
since 03-19-2000
Posts 476


0 posted 03-24-2000 11:19 AM       View Profile for dhuron   Email dhuron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit dhuron's Home Page   View IP for dhuron

She looks out the window
the color leaves her angelic face
Memories flood her mind
He said they'll be together; forever

The color leaves her angelic face
She remembers the first meeting
He said they'll be together; forever
She feels alone and empty

She remembers the first meeting
Tears pour from her blue eyes
She feels alone and empty
He has taken away her warmth

Tears pour from her blue eyes
The Ring lays on the table
He has taken away her warmth
She sees his fugure in the snow

The Ring lays on the table
She is on her bed;alone
She sees his figure in the snow
Her bed offers no more warmth

She is on her bed; alone
His figure is clouded by the falling snow
Her bed offers no more warmth
He is gone

His figure is clouded by the snow
Memories flood her mind
He is gone
She looks out the window.


© Copyright 2000 Daniel Huron - All Rights Reserved
Tess
Member
since 03-22-2000
Posts 291
Australia


1 posted 03-24-2000 11:27 AM       View Profile for Tess   Email Tess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tess's Home Page   View IP for Tess

I found this poem interesting..it started strong and then seemed to drift away..echoing the loss of love...

I liked the repetition in it too, and the image of the blue eyes crying sticks in my mind..the ring on the table

Great poem  

 "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 03-24-2000 03:11 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Interesting format, almost a Pantonum, but yet not quite...I like...nicely done. Welcome to Passions  
RAM
Member
since 03-24-2000
Posts 153


3 posted 03-24-2000 03:47 PM       View Profile for RAM   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RAM

very nicely done, indeed.   and, if I remember from when I first learned about them, this is exactly the form of a pantoum, with the one tiny exception of the "falling snow" line not being repeated exactly.  a fun form, but one I have a devil of a time playing with.  thanks for sharing.

RAM

[This message has been edited by RAM (edited 03-24-2000).]
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