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Open Poetry #6
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-03-24 10:02 AM


My hope is plain and that is to explain
While pausing this one time only
That my existence is uncertain which causes hurting
If not allowed to be nothing if not me,
And knowing that is what makes me,
I will cease to be

Asked to use my eyes and to realize
How could I, blind, unable to see?
Truth sometimes lagging, and a voice gently nagging,
If not given the freedom to be free,
And in that unfettered state, not really free,
Then I will cease to be

My profession begs for candid confession
Over this strained and sorrow plea
Going without confessing begins my regressing,
Lowers myself onto bended knee
Falling down upon bended knee,
Ceasing to be

Evidence of this verbal extravagance
I’ll try to state so eloquently
In my giving, hope to find one forgiving,
And show them the real me,
To show them the real me,
Before I cease to be


© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-03-24 10:21 AM


My hope is plain and that is to explain
While pausing this one time only
That my existence is uncertain which causes hurting
If not allowed to be nothing if not me,
And knowing that is what makes me,
I will cease to be
Asked to use my eyes and to realize
How could I, blind, unable to see?
Truth sometimes lagging, and a voice gently nagging,
If not given the freedom to be free,
And in that unfettered state, not really free,
Then I will cease to be

--------------------
damn, I am sitting here awe struck by this one jer, seriously.
This is brilliant...all of it...the way your mind works and then this expression of those thoughts and emotions.
AMAZING depth in this.
cranking up the printer...
stalking you in awe...again...
your jm

 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman


Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
2 posted 2000-03-24 10:43 AM


I love the way the last line is repeated at the end of every (stanza verse hell l dont know much about the tech words to use..l just love poems!) but anyway I really think that brings home the sad? desperate? lonely? tone of the poem
Great work
Tess

 "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2000-03-24 03:24 PM


Nice work Jerry  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-03-24 03:38 PM


JML, this is so lyrical and ripened with the journey of reflection's path. We must all strive for the truth, though it can be a difficult bending of the road. I enjoyed reading this.

~ Claire  

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