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David2
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407


0 posted 2000-03-24 08:27 AM


Alone Too Long

As winds of turmoil in a tempest toss,
So too, my torments threaten to persist.
I grieve in agony my lover's loss,
And vainly strive this torture to resist.
Another empty night of broken dreams,
Obstructed love to shatter peaceful sleep,
This time alone becomes a shallow stream,
Of endless, painful, waking hours to keep.
But pain so rich is born of love sublime,
Why else would one lament so fervently?
To never love would be the greater crime,
And so I claim her heart most selfishly.

Thus suffering precedes serenity,
For love conceived in serendipity


© Copyright 2000 David William La Belle - All Rights Reserved
mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
1 posted 2000-03-24 10:17 AM


***David2,
Yet again, a heartfelt poem, full of tangled emotion and .
I loved the lines:
  "But pain so rich is born of love sublime,
   Why else would one lament so fervently?"

Fantastic....  


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-03-24 10:27 AM


This time alone becomes a shallow stream,
Of endless, painful, waking hours to keep.
But pain so rich is born of love sublime,
Why else would one lament so fervently?
To never love would be the greater crime,
And so I claim her heart most selfishly.

Thus suffering precedes serenity,
For love conceived in serendipity
------------------

wow, David this is exceptional writing...
deep emotions very well expressed.
very nice,
take care, jm

 Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules
Do you care what is thought by others about you
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the present, the future the past...
tracy chapman


jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
4 posted 2000-03-24 11:10 AM


David:

Well written sonnet.  I enjoyed this.  Thanks.

Jim

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-03-24 11:26 AM


Yes, well written sonnet, David! I too especially love those lines :

'But pain so rich is born of love sublime,
Why else would one lament so fervently?'

Excellent writing, David!  

Denise

Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
6 posted 2000-03-24 11:45 AM


hmmmmm
me thinks there's an echo in here!!
but what more can l say  

Excellent writing David!

 "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle


TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
7 posted 2000-03-24 11:52 AM


David,
     Never before have I seen such heartfelt words so beautifully brought forth from the soul to the paper.  This is what poetry is all about!   Excellent poem.  I can honestly say it is one of the best things I have ever read!



 

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-03-24 01:24 PM


David...me things you doest like the sonnets...and you most certainly do them justice. There's a number of journals that take sonnets only you know?   Hey, you'll find I'm persistant  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-03-24 01:47 PM


David2~
So eloquently versed.
You've got a way with words, sir.
Wonderful way !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2000-03-24 02:28 PM


David2,
Good words, good thoughts, good poem.

Jenna Barkley
Junior Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 16

11 posted 2000-03-24 02:31 PM


David~
As winds of turmoil in a tempest toss,
So too, my torments threaten to persist.
I grieve in agony my lover's loss,
And vainly strive this torture to resist.

I am amazed by the use of words. Excellent!!

~Jen  


[This message has been edited by Jenna Barkley (edited 03-24-2000).]

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
12 posted 2000-03-24 10:30 PM


David...your word play leaves me speechless...are you any relation to Shakespeare? Love these keep them coming!!!!
Great work


 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-03-25 04:04 PM


I reeeeeeeeeeeeally like this, Dave...

I love the couplet....
"Thus suffering precedes serenity,
For love conceived in serendipity"


You're talkin' my language here... Serendipity was my own maiden poetic venture.  It's not a sonnet, but it is iambic pentameter...    




[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-25-2000).]

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

14 posted 2000-03-25 08:56 PM


Very nicely written.  

~ Claire

Windrider Silverbreeze
Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 33

15 posted 2000-03-25 09:06 PM




Summer's sweet wind's carress the turmoil'd state,
Tenderly soothing the hole ridden torments,
Life's sweet blossom will bloom anew,
Once resisting has stopped and pain has been given eternal release.
Peaceful dreams with hopes aplenty,
With the growing stream of paths yet unfound,
Yet pain is learned, to keep in ones mind,
To remember that love if right, can last for eternity.
To love again, is one's largest dream,
And so one gives their heart selflessly,


(A heart felt responce.  A lovely sonnet you've written that would capture the heart of any woman you dream.  Well done David.)


Franni
Junior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 39

17 posted 2000-03-25 11:43 PM


This is a perfect sonnet and a perfect subject for a sonnet.  Shakespeare would applaud.  I struggle with sonnets.  You are a natural.  Your lines stay with me.

Franni

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