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Passions in Poetry

Sorrow's Bite

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Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


0 posted 03-20-2000 11:24 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mike


Leave not a stone
to mark this site,
for I have felt,
yes, I have felt of sorrow's bite.
Witness not pain's pantomime,
Unwanted pallor
lost in sands of shifting time,
for I have felt,
yes, I have felt.
Trailing brambles, cormorants,
as starving beggar, mendicants,
who stand before
all that I covet,
never looking, never seeing,
no light from heaven's sky
illuminates,
for I have felt,
yes, I have felt of sorrow's bite.
© Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 03-20-2000 11:47 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Witness not pain's pantomime,
Unwanted pallor
lost in sands of shifting time,
for I have felt,
yes, I have felt.
Trailing brambles, cormorants,
as starving beggar, mendicants,
------------
damn this is AWESOME...the words used, the perfect rhyme..the pace pulls you along perfectly...VERY well written.. i love the word mendicant...theres something so poetic about it...
take care, jm

 and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 03-20-2000 11:51 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Mike--I am so amazed by your ability to express such deep emotion with just the perfect words.... Excellent, my friend.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


3 posted 03-20-2000 11:56 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Good title, beautiful writing, powerful sting. (I would try to say more, but ...it's just plain good.)

~ Claire

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 03-20-2000 11:56 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Mike, this is tight without being restricted...It FLOWED...reminded me of doing needle-point...just the right touch everywhere!  Excellent!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 03-21-2000 07:17 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I don't know anyone who couldn't relate to this at some point in their lives, Mike.. It's a wonderfully "biting" piece... Good work, my friend..
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


6 posted 03-21-2000 08:15 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

As I'm under Nan, Mike, I'll ditto her...

HUGS

 I love the way I look in your eyes, I'm just me tho'...
We are all works in progress, no?

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 03-21-2000 10:29 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent writing, Mike. Sorrow does have a bite, doesn't it? Very well done!

Denise
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


8 posted 03-21-2000 12:23 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Thank you all muchly for your gracious comments.  I appreciate the positive feedback.
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


9 posted 03-21-2000 03:53 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

Too bad you have been bitten by sorrow, Do you need a band-aid?haha just kidding!

Sorry to hear your feeling so sad! cheer up there will be sunny days ahead!


 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 03-21-2000 08:37 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Mike...this is a classic my friend. Very well written no matter how sad it is  
 
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