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Passions in Poetry

The Ravin' Toerag.........early days of the Toerag War

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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 03-20-2000 09:26 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Once upon a midnight snoozing
After a night of heavy boozing
With Poetwheel, my buddy, and old Long John at the bar
Suddenly, within mid-stumble, thought I heard a little mumble,
"What the world is that?", I grumbled
Standing near the kitchen door.
'Tis the breeze and nothing more.

Once again I tried to rise up,
Trying hard to get my thighs up
I heard that distant sound come somewhat louder than before.
"What the hell is happening here? Could it be Wheel with a beer?
That's it! A nightcap for good cheer.
Here I opened wide the door…..
Toerag sat…..and nothing more.

"Toe!", I cried. "What brings you here
Upon the steps of Balladeer
And why the hell are you dressed in a red Christian Dior?
Oh, dear Toe, please don't look so sad. Looks like you're going to go mad.
Please tell me now, my useless gonad
What brings you here to my back door?"
Quoth the Toerag…"please……more"

"Why, Toerag, boy, my little cretin,
We know you've taken quite a beatin'
First by Balladeer and then by Wheel, three times more,
But you're the one who drew your guns and blasted me with witless puns
Now YOU'RE the one who lies undone
Impaled on my rhyming sword."
Quoth the Toerag…"please…no…more"

"HAH! You will find no pity here!
No brainless little ditty here.
Pure poetry comes out from each and every single pore.
So hold on to your mindless chatter in your head until it splatters
And you go mad as other hatters
Who had come to win before!"
Quoth the Toerag…."please…no…more"

And poor Toerag, never flitting,
Still is sitting, drooling, spitting,
Mumbling fragments of half-sentences and no one knows what for
For it was made so very clear by Poetwheel and Balladeer
That no one ever need to fear
The poet Toerag was before….
Nameless here….forevermore.

© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA

1 posted 03-20-2000 09:32 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Much impressed and amused I am Balladeer
For your talent with verse is quite clear
None shall stand before your verbal attacks
When you crap out rhyme like you just had ex-lax!

Excellent work Balladeer, I was quite tickled by this excellent spoof of the raven  
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion

2 posted 03-20-2000 09:42 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Oh, poor, poor Toe, not here to defend himself!


Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561

3 posted 03-20-2000 10:04 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LMBO! I seem to remember he came to your door once before, didn't he?  
The plot thickens!  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 03-20-2000 10:13 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

I'm really impressed with this one.
Wonderful job.
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom

5 posted 03-20-2000 10:16 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

That poor Toe...ROFL..Just as well you guys love each other..

Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

6 posted 03-21-2000 07:12 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Poor, poor Toe... stubbed again..
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002

7 posted 03-21-2000 11:00 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very entertaining Balladeer! You do Poe well! Poor Toe! But I'm sure he has an interesting rebuttal in the works!  

Senior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind

8 posted 03-21-2000 12:24 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

On my face the smile grows wide~
Sheer delight I cannot hide~
Poe's style displayed with such keen wit~
From the mind of Balladeer we owe this bit~

This ongoing battle has become quite amusing~
Can't wait to see what Toerag has brewing~
I'm sure once posted, my smile will beam~
But until that time Balladeer reigns as King~

This was Grrreat~
And oh so funny!!~

 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia

9 posted 03-21-2000 03:34 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Toerag sat and nothing more...


Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a

10 posted 03-27-2000 10:46 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

It ain't nice to play with your Toe,
And ya know quite well I'm a worthy foe,
So don't forget, I'm always here,
I'll get your ass old Balladeer!

LOL....I do miss old Poetwheel, don't you?
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655

11 posted 03-28-2000 01:36 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Sir Balladeer... echos of days long past.  Thanks for the smile and memories this one brings.  As it was the first time, a most excellent bit of work.  I bow to you and yours.

Hmmm.... Toe is back!... Oh goodie!
Lucius Cade
since 03-23-2000
Posts 239

12 posted 03-28-2000 02:06 PM       View Profile for Lucius Cade   Email Lucius Cade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucius Cade

This is quite an interesting fued going on....I cant wait to see the next poem.

 Lucidity is the answer to all problems
since 01-27-2000
Posts 269
Ohio, USA

13 posted 03-28-2000 03:01 PM       View Profile for Shelley   Email Shelley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shelley

Now all my questions will soon be answered. I hope this one is as good as the last.

Pens drawn?
Mellon Collie
Junior Member
since 03-25-2000
Posts 49
united states of america

14 posted 03-28-2000 05:26 PM       View Profile for Mellon Collie   Email Mellon Collie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mellon Collie's Home Page   View IP for Mellon Collie

*waa haa haa haa*  this is hilarious... might someone direct me to the poem that started all of this? *hehe*

also balladeer, your verse is flawless...

the beautiful freak
since 03-28-2000
Posts 320
Murray, UT, USA

15 posted 03-28-2000 05:39 PM       View Profile for hsystems   Email hsystems   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hsystems's Home Page   View IP for hsystems

"Poe to Toe" in infamy,
The battle rages endlessly.
Yet, as the current onward races,
We all are blessed with smiling faces!

Thanks for the laugh!   )

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
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