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Open Poetry #6
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Who's The Victor After All?
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Who's The Victor After All? |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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Who’s The Victor After All? Tighten up the armor Man the battle ships Last night I felt some weakness When you softly kissed my lips Quickly hoist the battle flags Call the high command My best reserves were tested When you reached out for my hand The combat now has just begun I cautiously proceed I won’t give up in this, love’s fight I’m not ready to concede Feel the sear of my best shots Hear my cannons roar Damn your persistent knocking Here on my cold heart’s door Bayonets held at full charge I’m giving it my all Three simple words spoke from your lips And watch how quick I fall I’m feeling dazed and wounded Thick smoke begins to clear I dare to open up my eyes And see you standing near My armor crashes to the ground Defenses all are lost Now you can claim your victory I wonder, what the cost? White flag of yield I’m grasping Can you feel my fear? What’s this? You take it from my hands And raise it in the air < !signature--> The poet's job is to put into words those feelings we all have that are so deep, so important, and yet so difficult to name, to tell the truth in such a beautiful way that people cannot live without it. ~Jane Kenyon [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 03-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Ruth, You have done it again, what a masterpiece a poem that can be read three different ways, your amazing to say the least. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
No combat here, only surrender to your soft sweet charms. Very nice indeed! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Hoot~ This is powerful in it's surrender. What a beautiful piece. Gal, you've set the surrender in motion. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Wow Ruth. Powerful piece this. Surrender doesn't have to be so frightening and it can be the best thing we ever did for ourselves.  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is absolutely breathtaking! This is my favorite of yours to date, Ruth! The last line is brilliant, mutual surrender, nothing better than that!  Denise |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hoot Owl this is brilliant and lovely. James |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Ruth, this is so very beautiful, and so beautifully written.  What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ruth, Strong, yet fragile and definately excellent!! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Ruth: Here's hoping this one goes through.. Beautifully said.. HUSG |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It's amazing what one simple kiss can do to you, isn't it, hoot??..  Very nice work, my friend.. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
This is both powerful and beautiful, Ruth ..... The best kind of surrender ... to love ..... |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Excellent Ruth...... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone for reading and for your gracious comments |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a terrific construction of a great idea! Good writing, Ruth You know, they say the victor is the one left standing but, in this case, the opposite may be true |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent work Ruth, I loved the shift between the battle and the love you made each stanza, illustrates a wonderful picture. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Damn girl this was FANTASTIC! One of my favoties next to your armour one! Boy can I relate to how you feel here. Try as ya might to hold that armour in place, those dang sentimental things seem to leak through! Excellence my dear friend! Two thumbs up!!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is SO good, 'hoot'. surpassed yourself with this one, and that is not easy to do if you are you...My special book is getting quite full...Again, LOVELY. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Sounds as if you got the best out of surrender Ruth...keep sailing... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I just can't thak everyone enough for the overwhelming positive response to this one. Thank you |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Definitely one of your best, Hoot! And, nice to see this happy side of you, heck, surrender, you might lose the battle, but you'll win the war! Corinne |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot, You never cease to amaze me. Great writing. *L* |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Enjoyed this from beginning to end, a smile with each new verse, and then that tremendous ending. Wonderful, Ruth. I don't really have words. Liz |
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MyPenNameIsSam Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94usa |
This is wonderful! I love the war/love scenes in each paragraph! -molly aka sam Fleeting World "Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world: A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream; A flash of lightning in a summer cloud, A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream." -from the Diamond Sutra, translated by : A. F. Price -- found in Teachings of The Buddha, edited by Jack Kornfield |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you everyone |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow,this was beautiful!!!! Keep up the good work! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Daniella New Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 5WA |
Everyone else has pretty much said it all..Just want to say I enjoyed reading this how you compared love as to going into war fully armored. Once you release the armor you realize love can be a wonderful thing! Great Writer!! |
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