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Passions in Poetry

waiting for the train

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bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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0 posted 03-20-2000 01:48 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

The man sat, heavy and hunched, on a bench.

Rain ticked off the overhang and splashed puddles at his feet. His shoes, dirty white canvas sneaks, shone brightly under the night's wet light.

His skin looked like pressed paper. The smooth downward hook of a cane floated against his hands.

Bored and young, I sat next to him. Mostly to hear his voice. Unlike many, I had no fear of the old. Unlike most, I had no fascination, either.

He closed his eyes, brought his cane to his chest, lay his chin against his knuckles.

I looked away, out at the rainwater and -shadows: quicksilver sparks nearest the light; further away a hazing of the everyday.

I tried to read a sign across the tracks, against the hill, but fell asleep. What you never say pokes you with urgency: symbols that visit and never find answer or resolve.

I jolted from my slouch, knowing the man was staring.

But he was gone, as the rain.

"There is more than pleasure and pain," I said, reading the sign across the tracks. I kept expecting him to appear, lean close and speak in the dry husk of a man who knew the song so well he had written it himself; the words no longer meaning; just flavors on the tongue, sounds against lonesome echo.

After a moment, I stood, looked at my watch and walked into the night. It seems the train would not be coming tonight.

(c) 2000 Mike Chmielecki
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
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since 06-15-99
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Mobile, AL


1 posted 03-20-2000 02:06 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

The meaning of this, I don't think I can place, but it was a very intriguing read for me.   Your images are wonderful by the way.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


2 posted 03-20-2000 10:48 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

I would have to agree with Temptress... I found line after line of intriguing phrases here, Mike.

"His skin looked like pressed paper."

"further away a hazing of the everyday."

"flavors on the tongue, sounds against lonesome echo."

Such a visual piece, this one, and so easily enjoyed by this reader.  

~ Claire


serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 03-20-2000 10:59 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This IS very visual--methinks me spots a trend of new in you, yes?   You are a 'play' waiting to be written...
bsquirrel
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4 posted 03-21-2000 12:33 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, all. Glad you enjoyed. Experimenting as usual.

Mike
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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5 posted 03-21-2000 12:43 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"experimenting, as usual..." said the alchemist...

This is beautiful! Keen observation, as always!  
Ravenlearns2fly
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since 02-28-2000
Posts 71


6 posted 03-21-2000 01:24 AM       View Profile for Ravenlearns2fly   Email Ravenlearns2fly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravenlearns2fly

deep very deep
perhaps the man is the symbol of what is to come perhaps a symbol of what could be a wasted endevor at youth or perhaps nothing more than a congered image within your mind. I see the beauty of solatude within your words. deep very deep
Raven


 
Severn
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since 07-17-99
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7 posted 03-21-2000 05:09 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Now this is a refreshing piece - excellent detail - and I love the format, definitely a prose poem - wonderful!

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
bsquirrel
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8 posted 03-22-2000 02:22 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Merci.

Mike
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


9 posted 03-23-2000 08:28 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I really enjoyed the visuals and the allusiveness of this was wonderful.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 03-23-2000 11:28 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Imagery just don't get any better than this  
 
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