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Passions in Poetry

Shadows of Rapture (poem)

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Wendy Flora
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 186
Virginia


0 posted 03-20-2000 01:25 AM       View Profile for Wendy Flora   Email Wendy Flora   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Wendy Flora

Personally, I think this poem sucks.  I love the title, but I think the body of the poem itself is atrocious.  If anyone else has opinions, please feel free to express them.  
____________________________________________________

"Shadows of Rapture"

Sitting at a window
On a warm summer night,
Gazing at the stars and
Seeing the reflection
In their fiery haze
Of the dreams I had
In the days of my youth...
Caged behind the glass
Watching my dreams
Fall with the stars.

The Dreams of Lost Youth
Fall with Found Age as Stars
© Copyright 2000 Wendy Flora - All Rights Reserved
MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 03-06-2000
Posts 94
usa


1 posted 03-20-2000 01:46 AM       View Profile for MyPenNameIsSam   Email MyPenNameIsSam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MyPenNameIsSam

i like "watching my dreams fall with the stars"...it's a wonderfully beautiful line
-molly aka sam

 Fleeting World
"Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."
-from the Diamond Sutra, translated by : A. F. Price -- found in Teachings of The Buddha, edited by Jack Kornfield


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


2 posted 03-20-2000 01:55 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

This poem does not suck, and I love your title.   I know the feeling well.  
Wendy Flora
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 186
Virginia


3 posted 03-21-2000 01:42 AM       View Profile for Wendy Flora   Email Wendy Flora   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wendy Flora

Thanks.  Any ideas for improvements?  (I'm serious... I should probably repost it in CA... but...) -wen
 
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