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Passions in Poetry

The Black Rose--Challenge #4

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Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


0 posted 03-18-2000 09:09 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Sven

It was here that she met her death
The smoke of the fire taking her last breath
Sentenced by the council, a witch condemned
Her life would now meet a firey end

Only a girl of sixteen, her name Elizabeth Ann
Destined one day to marry the town's wealthiest man
But she would not get the chance at this new life
For there were other girls who thought they should be his wife

They met in secret, by the light of the moon
Determined to have Elizabeth meet her end soon
"We need to get rid of her!"  They said, "How can it be done?"
The answer came quickly, and thus began their twisted fun

So began Elizabeth's odyssey, the Crucible brought to life
Never would she know the joys of being a wife
Dragged before the council, her trial began in haste
Declared guilty immediately, there was no time to waste

Standing here a year later, the crowd can only gasp
Looks of disbelief form on those who pass
How it came to be here, no one really knows
But in this field of ash grows a single black rose

----------------------------------------------------------


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

© Copyright 2000 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


1 posted 03-18-2000 09:12 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

Sven, I love this!! There is such sadness to a perfect romance, yet revenge in the end.  I really like the last line.

Marina
jazzgal
Junior Member
since 03-07-2000
Posts 38


2 posted 03-18-2000 09:22 PM       View Profile for jazzgal   Email jazzgal   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for jazzgal

this is sweet, but very sad... a perfect ending indeed, i'm very glad!  i like this one for sure... well done.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 03-18-2000 10:12 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Sven baby...this was PERFECTION...
such mystic imagery and yes that last line is poetic perfection...
I really enjoyed reading this.
take care, jm

 and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 03-18-2000 10:23 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Very well delivered, Sven...and an intriguing story.

~ Claire
kitkat
Senior Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 892
Nova Scotia


5 posted 03-18-2000 11:23 PM       View Profile for kitkat   Email kitkat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kitkat

I loved this sven. Story of love and jealousy and a haunting revenge.

 --------------
You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
and show the world all the love in your heart
Then people are gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That your beautiful as you feel.~~~ Carol King


INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


6 posted 03-18-2000 11:45 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Sven,

This is OUTSTANDING!!!  A pox on all the guilty murderers.  Well written in form and flow.

INclan
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


7 posted 03-19-2000 01:12 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

love this one, Sven!

Corinne
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


8 posted 03-19-2000 03:23 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

A very interesting and intense read.  Excellent writing.   James
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


9 posted 03-19-2000 12:46 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Thank you all, my friends. . . this is the fourth of the "Member Challenges" that I opened in Poetry Challenge. . . why not go there and take a look around?

Thank you all again. . .

---------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


10 posted 03-19-2000 01:31 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Wow, what an excellent tale and telling...Very well done!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


11 posted 03-19-2000 06:11 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Your imagination has taken off in this wonderful poem. It was not I who presented the challege, but rather the other Elizabeth. Your poetry has always been romatic and full of love and now you take off into the realm of story telling. How exciting. well done
Liz
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


12 posted 03-19-2000 06:31 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You did a very good job with this one, Sven.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


13 posted 03-19-2000 08:28 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I don't know what the challange was, but it seems you met it well  
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
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Lansing, MI USA


14 posted 03-19-2000 11:02 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Again, thank you all. . .

Elizabeth, my apologies. . . I realize now that it was not you that posted the challenge, but I'm glad that you liked it also. . .

--------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


15 posted 03-20-2000 06:35 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Nice one, Sven - This is a subject I've been intending to touch upon myself - maybe you'll give me the incentive to act on it..
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


16 posted 03-20-2000 11:00 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Sven firstly thanks for the advertising  
This was a wonderful tale my friend, a tale, for it's more than a poem or story if you get my meaning...  Bravo  

 There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


17 posted 03-21-2000 08:11 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Haunting, Sven.  I really liked this one though.  Especially the black rose at the end.  Well done!!!!

 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


18 posted 03-21-2000 10:06 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

THANK YOU SVEN!!!!! *beaming* I loved every word of this poem. No one has ever written one for me before--I'm gonna have to print this and hang it up somewhere. Again, thank you so much--it's beautiful.

        

Elizabeth

 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


19 posted 03-21-2000 10:25 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Elizabeth, you are most welcome, I am indeed honored and humbled that you are going to print this poem. . .

Thank you for the challenge, it was most welcome and enjoyed every minute of it!!

----------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Elizabeth
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Moderator
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America the beautiful


20 posted 03-21-2000 10:34 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Anytime Sven! Care to give me a challenge so's I can write one for you?

Elizabeth

 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible

Nativetexan2
Junior Member
since 03-21-2000
Posts 14


21 posted 03-21-2000 11:34 PM       View Profile for Nativetexan2   Email Nativetexan2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nativetexan2

Sven, Bravo! my man. Such a wondeful tale you tell.
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


22 posted 06-06-2001 06:15 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

A bump and an addition to my library for this one....
Sven will be notified of replies
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